Adventures in Pastry

Pastry and I have this interesting relationship.

Sometimes it comes together great as in the Turkey and Ham Pie I made on Boxing Day.

From Christmas 2007

And at other times it's more of a challenge.

Yesterday was one of those 'Other Times' :(

I was making Pizza Rustica All'inglese from 'How To Be A Domestic Goddess' by Nigella Lawson.

It's basically a full pie with a pizza type filling. Well my filling was wonderful, (a mixture of ground bacon, ground pork, cheese, green onion and seasoning) but my pastry was being very uncooperative yesterday. It wouldn't roll out without splitting :( I added extra moisture when I needed too, and added extra flour when I needed too but it still was a challenge.

I eventually baked the pie and it came out looking like this.

It really was a real pain to make, though the spring form pan definitely helped.

I do have to say that the smell of it baking was wonderful and made the kitchen feel all nice and cosy, and it sliced beautifully.

The cold leftovers are supposed to be delicious too - I'll find out today.

I'm not sure if it was worth the level of labor intensiveness, maybe if I keep practicing my pastry it will get easier :)

Are these the Electric Sheep that androids dream of?

A very impressive use for old telephones!

Who Jesus Isn't

I've posted this a year ago at my old blog, but it bears repeating here because it's so funny.



It's very interesting to think about all the things that Jesus wasn't, that the church seems to be. Republican. Rich. Prejudiced.

Or consider this song by Martyn Joseph

"He Never Said"

A Tale of Two Meals

I've been watching a lot of a British Cooking show called Two Fat Ladies recently. One show they made a very interesting dish with Salmon that I decided to duplicate as I want to try and eat more fish in my diet.
Here is the salmon fillet, resting on a bed of orange slices, poaching lightly in red wine with a covering of more orange slices. (Poach the salmon 3/4 covered, I just took the lid off for a better photo.) The recipe also called for a little nutmeg which seemed odd, but I decided to do what it said. The kitchen smelled very Christmassy!
Served with a nice salad! Yummo!

On Friday I stopped in a store called Ten Thousand Villages
It's a wonderful store full of fairly traded goods. I picked up a new cook book called 'The World of Street Food' One recipe that caught my eye was a Tunisian Tagine

I was familiar with the Moroccan Tagine which is a stew cooked in a specially shaped pot with a conical lid, but not the Tunisian Tagine which is very different and almost resembles a Fritata.

I first made a ragout from Onions, chicken, tomato paste, cannellini beans, breadcrumbs, cheese. Paprika and Cinnamon.

That was then put in a baking dish and had beaten eggs poured over it and placed in the oven for about 25 minutes.

Served with a green salad - very yummy (though I would maybe omit the cinnamon next time as it seemed to overpower the taste)

Hanging out in Houston

My friend Michael has been here visiting the past few days. So we were hitting the high spots.

Coffee Shops.

Breakfasts.

Galveston.

Houston Zoo.

Boardgames.

Here are some fun pics.

(Click on the pics to see them Full Size)

Why Men and Women do different Gymnastic Routines!

I haven't watched a single second of the Olympics, but a friend sent me these clips and I thought they were hilarious.

1) If men did the same floor routine as women.



2) If men competed on the asymetric bars.


3) If men competed on the beam.

Spiritual Where's Waldo

In the popular 'Where's Waldo?' books, Waldo is always in plain site on the page, but there is so much other distracting stuff around him that he's difficult to locate. There may be other people that look like him in the picture, and you might only be able to see a part of Him and he might look different to what you anticipate.
In the Contemplative Service yesterday we talked about God's presence in our lives. There are certain places that people go to where they say they encounter God. Beaches, Mountains, Churches etc can all be possible places.
There are other places we go to that are just part of our everyday existence. The grocery store, the office, the kitchen etc. Most of the time in those places we are not particularly mindful of God, but we believe he is there even if we do not experience him.
There are still other places that we find it very difficult to imagine God being present at all. These are normally defined by moral judgements we might make regarding the location.
Something in us says that 'For God to be in those places is an outrage.' We may make a theological leap to say that yes God is there, but we believe God is frowning and judging.

The bible seems very clear that we cannot get away from the presence of the Divine. Take Psalm 139:7-12 for example:

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself,
"Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light,
they're all the same to you.

Wherever we go, God is already there.

I believe that theologically, but sometimes it is difficult to see.

Friday evening I was out to dinner with Steve when one of our friends drunk dialed him. We were rather concerned and eventually found out that he was at a Strip Joint in town. We drove over there to get him and brought him back home and put him to bed - it was quite an adventure.

I was praying on the drive over that he would be aware of God's presence in the midst of the Strip Club, and that God would keep him safe. I found myself asking the question that we have asked the Contemplative congregation to sit with this week: "Where are you present in this moment, God?". The simple answer came back to me that God was present in that moment because Steve and I were there to take care of him.

That's a nice simple answer, and it gives me a nice 'warm' feeling, but it raises the question 'If Steve and I had not shown up would God have been absent?' It seems arrogant to suggest that I would have to be in a place for God to be there!

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I drive to the strip club, you're there!
If I drink myself under the table, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings to the far corner of my misery,
You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting!

No matter where any of us may go, God is already there waiting.

The problem is, I'm having trouble 'seeing' him in some situations. It's like playing 'Spiritual Where's Waldo'. Waldo is hard to see because so many other people look similar, and often you can only see part of him in a different position to how he normally is.

Maybe that's the key here.

My presuppositions of how God 'looks' and 'acts' get in the way of me seeing him in some situations. Every person in the strip club is made in the image of God and reflects Him somehow. My presuppositions and judgements make that image even harder to find.

The challenge is to keep looking.

So, let's spend the week asking ourselves 'Where are you present in this moment, God?' and hopefully He/She will surprise us.

I'm a backing singer with the band

This guy is giving a concert this sunday night at my church, and I'm one of the six backing vocalists.

You ought to hear him hit the High C at the end of this song. Incredible!

Dvd cases as art.

Whilst trying to decide how to store and display DVDs Steve and I found these cool storage racks at Ikea. This is a lot cooler than shelves. Now the DVDs form art :)

(The slight curvature on the pic is caused by my cell phone camera.)

Never Read Poetry Before Breakfast

Never read poetry before breakfast
The pre-caffinated brain has not erected its defenses
In its post-slumber lethargy it transforms
a poet's vision into a template for living

Never read poetry before breakfast
or on your morning commute you will suddenly notice
the butter-drenched glory of the morning sun
you may be distracted
by the hypnotic rhythm and cadence of language
as captured in your morning emails
The reheated familiarity of your leftovers
may explode like fireworks on your tongue

If you absolutely must read poetry
handle it with care.
T.S. Eliot should only be read on a lush green hillside
overlooking an idyllic flower-laden landscape
Only attempt Wilfred Owen whilst in the velvet embrace of the blackest thunder storm
And if you are an amateur literary enthusiast
Do not, I repeat do not tackle Mary Oliver's beautiful word chisels
Lest your palisades crumble
letting her red bird haunt your daily existence
And her imaginary deer roam through your afternoons.

Never, never read poetry before breakfast
It will ruin your whole day

Hungry like the wolf!

Today is National Duran Duran Appreciation day!


How are you celebrating?

Fun With Breakfast Food

Why did I never think of creative pancake eating before.....I could start a new artistic culinary trend!

Half-full of Sound and Fury and Signifying Nothing!

Eduard blew into town yesterday.

The picture makes him look like a fairly mean swirly dude, but the reality was one huge anticlimax. It was fun seeing the manic shoppers in Kroger thinking that the Apocalypse was on its way, thinking they could survive if they bought 100 cans of tuna fish. What surprised me was that about 1 hour before the storm was due to hit, I did a quick run to the store to buy yeast (everyone needs yeast to survive a storm right) and there was a massive line at the donut shop!

There's nothing like hot sugary baked goods to sustain you through the end of the world - or maybe they were just buying them for there flotation properties.

Saddest of all were the weathermen who were obviously crestfallen that Eduard could barely blow over a plastic garden chair. I saw one clip where the camera crew were focused on a puddle in a Wal-Mart parking lot!!! Now that is quality news reporting.

The church offices were closed just in case, so I spent a large portion of my day reading books for my spiritual direction class. I finally finished the first one on Ignatian Spirituality - which started off promising but got very dry, and I've just started The Practice of Spiritual Direction.

My two new words for the day (courtesy of the new book) were 'Kataphatic' and 'Apophatic'- words so uncommon that Merriam Webster online doesn't have them.

So after reading, I got on to my next task of the day - baking (hence the need for fresh yeast)

We have a choir potluck tonight and I was requested to make my Blue Cheese and Walnut Bread for it. It's a yummy loaf, but as you can imagine it is fairly time consuming to shape and bake, so the Eduard served me well there.

I also threw together a quick chicken and shrimp stir fry.

I've always had trouble with leftover rice clumping. This time I spread the leftover rice out to cool and then put in in a Ziploc baggy. When it came time to stir fry I just massaged the baggy to break up any clumps. The stir fry came out very very yummy!

I then closed out the day by watching 3 movies.

1) A Home at the End of the World - Colin Farrell did an excellent job.

2) Running With Scissors - very confusing compared to the book.

3) Bride and Prejudice - Jane Austen reimagined as a Bollywood musical!

It was a good day - thank you Eduard!

A strange job for a church musician!

I spent most of today listening repeatedly to a cover version of
'I Want to Know What Love Is' so that I could transcribe the backing vocal parts onto manuscript paper so our church choir can sing it!!!!!!

I get paid for this??????


Here's the original video for your viewing pleasure, so grab your honey and lets slow dance!

Making Spaghetti

Watching 'Requiem for a Dream'

I have no idea why I rented this movie - somehow it got on my netflix queue and arrived in the mail.

Here's the editorial review from Amazon.com

"Employing shock techniques and sound design in a relentless sensory assault, Requiem for a Dream is about nothing less than the systematic destruction of hope. Based on the novel by Hubert Selby Jr., and adapted by Selby and director Darren Aronofsky, this is undoubtedly one of the most effective films ever made about the experience of drug addiction (both euphoric and nightmarish), and few would deny that Aronofsky, in following his breakthrough film Pi, has pushed the medium to a disturbing extreme, thrusting conventional narrative into a panic zone of traumatized psyches and bodies pushed to the furthest boundaries of chemical tolerance. It's too easy to call this a cautionary tale; it's a guided tour through hell, with Aronofsky as our bold and ruthless host.

The film focuses on a quartet of doomed souls, but it's Ellen Burstyn--in a raw and bravely triumphant performance--who most desperately embodies the downward spiral of drug abuse. As lonely widow Sara Goldfarb, she invests all of her dreams in an absurd self-help TV game show, jolting her bloodstream with diet pills and coffee while her son Harry (Jared Leto) shoots heroin with his best friend Tyrone (Marlon Wayans) and slumming girlfriend Marion (Jennifer Connelly). They're careening toward madness at varying speeds, and Aronofsky tracks this gloomy process by endlessly repeating the imagery of their deadly routines. Tormented by her dietary regime, Sara even imagines a carnivorous refrigerator in one of the film's most memorable scenes. And yet... does any of this have a point? Is Aronofsky telling us anything that any sane person doesn't already know? Requiem for a Dream is a noteworthy film, but watching it twice would qualify as masochistic behavior. --Jeff Shannon"

I felt very uncomfortable after watching this movie. The final sequence where it intersperses shots between Jared Leto getting his arm amputated where it has rotted from his heroin injections, Jennifer Connelly performing lewd sex acts for drugs in front of a room of slobbering men all whilst Ellen Burstyn receives Electric Shock therapy for her insanity brought on by her addiction to barbiturates that she was told were diet pills, was shocking.

Disturbing is an understatement in the case of this movie, and yet it contained some incredible performances and scenes. Ellen Burstyn was incredible and heart wrenching.

I don't know how to rate it on netflix. It's not a movie I would recommend to 99% of the world, it's not a movie I enjoyed - but surely a movie like this is not meant to be enjoyed. It was an experience I wish I had not had, but in some strange way I am stronger for. I was at no real danger of ever taking drugs before this movie - after it I'm even further away from that end of the spectrum.

The emotional experiences I had watching the movie were strong and I'm sure that was the Director's intent. From that point of view the movie was powerful and effective - but enjoyable? Not so much. Did I enjoy it? No. Would I watch it again? No. Do I want the time back that the movie took - don't know, it's one of those movies I have to let work through my system before forming any long term judgements.

Has anyone else seen it?

Stove Callibration

As you can tell from other posts, I like to cook. With any hobby it is important to check your equipment is functioning correctly. After some suspicious roast cooking times I decided to check out my oven - so I purchased an oven thermometer and a quick plea at work produced 2 more.

I set the oven at 400F and hit bake. The model of oven I have automatically preheats, so I waited the 9 1/2 minutes that the oven requested and then took temperatures.

Left Thermometer - 300F

Center Thermometer - 295F

Right Thermometer - 250F

Not good. I decided to wait another 10 minutes and check the temperatures again.

Left Thermometer - 370F

Center Thermometer - 370F

Right Thermometer - 325F

I waited another 10 minutes and the results were the same. It looks like something is definitely off with the thermostat, it could need a simple recalibration, but more tests are needed first :(

I'm going to test it again at 300F to see if the thermostat is off by:

a) 30F which would mean a simple reset is in order or

b) Off by a different amount, which would mean the oven may need to be replaced.

Results will be forthcoming!

Cellulite, Farmers Tans and Spirituality

Whenever we drove to the coast as kids, my brother and competed to see who could get a view of the Ocean first. We signalled our sighting with a cry of 'I can see the sea!' I calculated yesterday that I had not been to 'see the sea' in 9 months, so I decided to rectify the situation.

O.k. so the Gulf down around Galveston is not exactly the most picturesque but I did the best I could to record the moment, with my cellphone camera.
The water was very brown, and it was very windy due to the Hurricane that was forming and due to make landfall south of us, but it was the beach on a warm early evening so people were swimming. It gave me lots of opportunity to validify Peter's first rule of beachware - 'Just because they make it in your size, doesn't mean you will look good wearing it'. Come to think of it that should be a rule of Fashion in general - I know, I've seen some of the disasters on Project Runway.

I just stayed covered up and sat on the seawall reading 'Discernment - The Art of Choosing Well', which is one of the required reading books for my class for this Fall.

I was so energized by my soiree to the seaside that I stopped off at the store on the way home and bought the ingredients for a massive noodle stir fry.

I'm going to be reheating leftovers for quite a while.

Yum!

Babies and Monasteries

I spent this past weekend visiting Rich and Ginger in Grand Prairie, and meeting the newest addition to their family - baby Jack.

He is, of course, adorable!

The entire weekend was based on the rhythm of Jack. His needs for food, sleep, bathing, changing etc controlled what the rest of us did. We managed some boardgames, but if Jack was calling then gaming was put on hold. Meal times were about rushing to the restaurant just after Jack fed so that he would be content (and possibly sleep) while we crammed a few carbs.

It is a different way of living.

It got me thinking about Monasteries - not a place known for babies :)

Many monasteries organize their days around the Liturgy of the Hours. Set times of prayer and worship that repeat daily and are signaled by the sounding of a bell. No matter what task you are doing, when the bell calls, you respond.

The bell is very humbling, it reminds you that the work of your hands, the thoughts of your brain, even the very emotions of your soul, are secondary to the call of the bell. It's frustrating, it's not the way most of us live our lives. We want to believe that my work, my thoughts, my feelings are all the most important on the planet.

We are wrong.

So when the bell tolls -

Work stops for it.
Thoughts get put aside for it.
Emotions don't excuse you from it.
Sleep is interrupted for it.

When the bell calls - you go to worship.

When the baby cries - you respond.

Beaker works wonders with Beethoven

I will blog about the weekend trip but...

...I haven't downloaded the pics yet, and I'm in that post trip depression.

So here's a pic of Casey playing Stone Age

2 comics that made me chuckle

Both from xkcd
(sorry this second one is so small)

California Gay Marriage - One Month on

Today marks the 1 month anniversary of California legalizing same sex marriage.

I'm disappointed.

Given the fervor of campaigning by protesters claiming that same sex marriage would cause 'the breakdown of society' and be 'the thin end of the wedge leading to moral turpitude' I would have expected to see some symptoms by now.

Riots in San Francisco.

Orgies on the streets of L.A.

San Diego reduced to ruins.

But I've seen nothing. Nothing to indicate 'the extreme moral rot' that is supposed to be taking place because of California's stand on this issue. I was hoping for some gripping television- shaky camera footage and life and death struggles, instead I've been reduced to watching reruns of old reality t.v. shows! If society is breaking down I would have expected to have seen something in the media, or at least had an inbox full of spurious emails decrying California's moral bankruptcy.

I've received nothing - except for one joke about a man trying to marry his brother for tax purposes that wasn't even funny. (I'm actually surprised I haven't received an email suggesting that the current fires in CA are God's judgement on gay marriage. Maybe it's just God's judgement on dry timber and careless use of matches?)

What have I seen?

A picture of George Takei with his Partner Brad Altman with their certificate of marriage. They can now legally wed after having been together over 21 years.

Apparently the 2 people in this picture are a threat to American society.

I don't see it.

How many times has Pamela Anderson been married in 21 years? Surely her actions are more of a 'threat to the sanctity of marriage' than George and Brads?

Shouldn't a 21 year commitment be celebrated rather than vilified?

Well it's not quite midnight yet, there is still time for the West Coast to sink into the sea, drowning 'the moral corruption of our once bright nation.'

Somehow I don't think I'll stay up late to catch the midnight news.

Tart!

I added a new dish to my culinary repertoire yesterday. This is a summer berry tart, made with blackberries, raspberries and blueberries. I made the graham cracker crust, then made a thick berry puree and then glazed the berries with redcurrant jelly before chilling for a couple of hours.
Very yummy, and not very sweet so it was awesome with ice cream :)

Jesus Loves You - the struggle with literalism?

So....how would you answer grey bloke?

How some Texans view the rest of the U.S.

This is just a caricature - I have many Texan friends who don't view the U.S. this way, but it was just too good to pass up!

A quote to ruminate on

"In our spirit we are not limited to what we can understand or imagine."

Taken from 'The Cloud of Unknowing'

Good stuff!!!

Are you going to eat that?

Regular readers of my blog (bleeders??!) will know about my penchant for blogging about strange cooking experiments such as the 'Lasagna in a Dishwasher' or the 'Labor Day Cooking on the Dark Side'. Then there are times when I just blog generally about what I'm cooking or even the Spirituality of Recipes.

I intended this post to be just a general cooking entry, but now I'm not sure about whether it belongs in the terrifying category.

I pulled a recipe from Allrecipes.com because I wanted to make something different but healthy for dinner.

So here are some of the ingredients. 2 large sweet potatoes peeled and chopped and the turkey Italian Sausage. The rest I figure y'all can identify without me spelling it out for you.
Oops I forgot to add the salsa and the garlic to the ingredient pic, so here is a photo with them included plus a demonstration of my chopping skills.
Cook the sweet potato for about 10 minutes just to soften. While you do this remove the sausage meat from it's casings and brown it in a skillet. To be honest I always feel slightly dirty removing sausage from it's casing. It's such a weird feeling. I'm a 'twist the sausage in the middle and pull' kind of guy (having first slit the ends). There is something about the act of the twist that just makes my eyes water.
I'm using turkey Italian sausage in an attempt to make it low-fat, but look how much fat has still come out of the sausage!This is the kitchen towel after draining the fat. Look how much gunk could have been in my intestine!
Saute the onions, and bell peppers for a while and then add the mushrooms and the garlic. The more I cook I've discovered the less time I tend to saute my garlic. When I first started cooking I would almost caramelize it and often would accidentally get that acrid burnt taste. Now I practically just wave it in close proximity of the flame before serving.
Add the potatoes and the salsa and sprinkle in some cumin before letting it sit for 5 minutes to heat through and absorb the flavor.

It looked rather different to what I anticipated. The recipe said that all you need to serve it with is a green salad and you have a delicious meal. I didn't have a green salad, and it looked like I would need more than a limp lettuce leaf to consume this skillet.

Hooray for hard cider!!!!

It tasted interesting! When I was reflecting on it later, I realized that had I made this with normal potatoes instead of Sweet potatoes I would have ravenously consumed the entire skillet and viewed it as some kind of 'Breakfast Hash'. The trouble was those mounds of sweet potatoes.

I didn't eat sweet potatoes growing up - I can't even remember seeing one until I moved to Texas. I've never had one baked in foil, I've just eaten the occasional roasted one and have scarfed down many baskets of Sweet Potato fries (yumm!)

But there is something in the look of this dish that even though my brain said 'Potato' my spirit said 'Mushy carrot lumps'.

So was this a general cooking entry or a strange cooking experiment?

I have yet to decide....but if you want to weigh in with an opinion, I've got leftovers!

Gas Gas Gas!

I sholdn't really complain about gas prices as it's still so much cheaper than what my brother pays in the U.K., but this was too good to pass up!

William Shatner sings 'Common People' - to Spock!

I use the word 'sing' in a very loose sense here :)

4th July Gaming

I spent the holiday as I spend most holidays - board gaming.

This time though a miracle occurred.

We had 10 people - not an unusual occurrence, we often have that many. The miracle was that we actually split into 2 groups instead of playing the limited number of games that can accommodate 10 people and that don't suck.
To commemorate this momentous happening I took a picture from our stairs (and yes there are still boxes to be unpacked)

This is the group I was in playing a very involved game of Starfarers of Catan. This is a game of space exploration, colonization and trade. It's quite involved but a lot of fun. We had to stop the game after 2 hours as two players had to leave though :(

This is the other group playing a game of mine called Masons. This is a game of wall and city building and area control - another fun one from my collection.

Other games included Time's Up - a light party game. Fjords - a two player area control game. Dragon Delta - a race across rickety bridges, and Vegas Showdown - a competition to build the best Hotel and Casino in Vegas.

It was a fun day, alcohol was imbibed, hotdogs were consumed, and I finally made a dip that tasted remarkably similar to the creamy jalapeno dip that serve at chuy's.

Immortalized in Poetry

A good friend of mine wrote a poem about me and how I impact her life - thanks so much, L. I feel humbled and honored to be an influence in your life.

River of Words

My mind is a running river
Words rush under the surface
Rolling like pebbles on the bottom
I'm pulling out one word
When I was reaching to grab another

Then I see you
Cast your net in the river
And draw out stories and songs
You give words to what
I've longed to say

You encourage me to keep reaching for words
My hands are slippery
I can't trust my eyes
But when you pull your story from the current
I open my hands to find a story too

Oh, to believe it is possible!

Quote of the Day

"The Christian vision has been hijacked by the institution that has been its caretaker."

Margaret Silf

A Great Performance...but

I felt really good about today's show.

I got all my lines, not a single error - this is the first time I've managed that.

There was only one draw back. We'd been turning people away because we were sold out, but 11 people who had reservations didn't show. We only sit 55 people a performance so that's about 20% of the audience missing.

Today was a matinee performance, and the audiences at matinees tend to be older and slightly sleepier - I think it's because the show takes place at a time when they normally have an afternoon nap :)

Lines that normally caused a lot of mirth and merriment were greeted with silence. Scenes that usually were met with guffaws were welcomed with only the mildest chuckle. It's so strange how an audience can affect a show.

All of the performers were coming back stage commenting on how 'dead' the audience felt.

Oh well, I did a great job today, hopefully I can repeat it when their are more people there to watch :)

The Tooth, the half tooth and nothing like a real tooth!

Last night's performance was an interesting one. I finished my big opening number (The stand on a desk and hit to Gb song!), I rushed off stage to change my costume and felt something weird in my mouth.

Closer examination revealed that one of my crowns had just fallen out!!!

I dread to think what would have happened had it loosen just a minute earlier....I would either have swallowed it, or spat it over the audience!

Who knew the vibrations from my high notes were so powerful :)

Rabbit Abuse becomes Child Abuse!

Tonight was opening night of Urinetown.

It went very well and was very well received :)
I made 2 minor slip ups.

1) I started a scene with my second line of dialogue instead of my first. The first line really wasn't that important, it just meant a minor character got one less line to say (sorry Sam)

2) The other one was weird! There are many strange recurring themes in Urinetown. One of them is Rabbit Abuse. I sing a song in act one called 'Don't Be The Bunny' which is all about not being a poor abused rabbit turned into stew or slippers (!) The main character Bobby says a line "...love has about as much chance of flourishing as a baby bunny drowning in a vat of boiling water...". I have a line in act two about how I am "snuffing out popular resistance like a naughty baby bunny in the palm of my hand".

However in tonight's performance somehow I omitted the word bunny. "...snuffing out popular resistance like a naughty baby in the palm of my hand"

Ewww!

It wouldn't be so bad except that earlier in the show I sing:

"Our resources are as fragile as a new born baby's skull
With your actions you would gut the child and leave a lifeless hull"

Ewwww!

My character is meant to be evil, even though I play him as the sweetest man imaginable. It's just hard to be sweet when you are singing and speaking about abusing babies!

One of the Director's friends summed up the show when he said "I don't know what that was, but I loved it!"

Banned Heinz Comercial

This commercial was originally aired in the U.K. but Heinz pulled it after 200 people complained in one week. The population of the U.K. is 60,776,238 so this is a tiny tiny percentage...so small I can't even do the math :)

What do you think? Should it have been canceled?

I think the commercial is hinting that the Mayo is so good that it's transformed Mum from a British housewife into a NY Deli chef. No gay couple with kids that I know uses the term 'Mum' with their children. Normally it's something like 'Dad' and 'Papa' to distinguish between them.

If the writers did intend the couple to be a same sex relationship then bear in mind that according to research published in the Guardian (A British newspaper) 3.6 million Britons are gay (approximately 6%). Do they have a right to be represented in advertising?

One other interesting fact. One of the most common comments is that parent's don't want their children's seeing this, because they don't want to have to explain gay relationships to their children. Fair enough - parent's are allowed to choose how to parent their children. But bear in mind one thing - U.K. Commercial rules mean that this commercial cannot be shown on t.v. during children's television because the mayonaisse contains high quantites of fat and sugar, no commercials like that can air at a time when children are watching t.v.

Therefore if a child does see this commercial it is because the parent is letting them watch 'adult' t.v. The parents object to their children watching 2 men kiss in a comic situation but they'll happily let them watch adult t.v. That seems rather hypocritical to me, esp. given some of the things they happily show on U.K. television!

Is it just a clever marketing ploy? There is a lot of talk on t.v. and on the Internet....was this whole thing a clever scheme?

What is the christian response to this? The church is divided about whether homosexuality is a sin. Whatever your view on that topic, there are countless verses in scripture calling the church to 'Defend the rights of the orphan, alien and the widow in your midst'. See Deuteronomy 10:17-19 for example.

Could a case be made equating the 'alien' to the gay population? Do 'Aliens' in scripture have different world views and belief systems? Is there a parallel here? What is the biblical definition of an 'Alien'? (Google brings up some scary websites in response to that question!!!)

A literary Meme

A friend tagged me with the following literary Meme

The rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.


"Our desire to love stumbles over our desire for loving words, for something we can say, for something that will bridge the separation we feel. We learn to accept, however, that our task is not, after all, to find the right words but to come to terms with the silence of love, the presence of God. The more we love, the deeper a mystery our love becomes."

From 'There is a God. There is no God' ~ John Kirvan

If you read this, consider yourself tagged (and leave me a comment so I know to go read your post)

Just. Simply. Awesome!

I wanna work here!

Wardrobe Malfunction!

We had a full costume run through of Urinetown last night (have you purchased your tickets yet? Email me for details)

Well I have to perform a tricky maneuver to get on top of a desk and the suit pants I had on were not up to the task. They split around the crotch, but I didn't notice as I had a jacket on.

Nobody noticed till I was at a quiet moment in Act 2 and somebody commented on my blue Boxer Briefs (blush). I hope we can get them patched before tonight.

Note to self - 'Never go commando on stage'!

All in all I felt a lot better about last night's rehearsal. I was so mad with myself on Friday, I did a terrible job and I was dropping lines and choreography all over the place. It's nice to now feel back on top of things again :)

Threads

The Way It Is

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among

things that change. But it doesn’t change.

People wonder about what you are pursuing.

You have to explain about the thread.

But it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it you can’t get lost.

Tragedies happen; people get hurt

or die; and you suffer and get old.

Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.

You don’t ever let go of the thread.

~ William Stafford ~

I've begun reflecting on the 'threads' in my life; good and bad patterns that I notice about myself. Ways of thinking, acting, responding and living that seen woven into the core of who I am. Some of them are healthy, some of them not so much. But all of them have a place in the greater design.

I don't like the unhealthy ones, I want to change them by pretending that they don't exist. Unfortunately that doesn't work - it's like pretending the world outside isn't there by closing the curtain.

A silly example - I like to eat too much bacon, I wish I didn't. I could deny my love for bacon completely and pretend it doesn't exist, or I can admit to myself my bacon consumption overdrive and learn how to manage and live with it.

If I deny the bad threads in myself I am causing schism and using a lot of mental energy to live in the anguish. It is better to look at the bad threads clearly and compassionately to learn how to live with them.

What is true for myself is also true for society. There are parts of society that I would consider 'bad threads', generally it's people who are outside my particular 'norm' of how people should live, think, worship, vote etc. Pretending that these people don't exist is not healthy for me, for them, or for society as a whole. Denying people basic rights because they fall outside of the society's norms is not healthy for them or us.

The dark threads and the light threads together weave the pattern into the fabric.

I remember hearing a story once about a light square that lamented because he was different to everyone surrounding him. They were all dark blue and teased the light square for being different. The light square longed to change but couldn't.

What none of the squares could see was that they were all small parts of a large mosaic, the light square was different from all those surrounding him because he was the twinkle in the eye of God.

The 'bad threads' in ourselves and in society may be the twinkle in God's eyes. This isn't license to 'over-consume bacon' simply a recognition that the parts of ourselves and society that are non-conformist should be as welcome as the mainstream - denying their existence does ourselves and them no favor and diminishes the 'whole'.

Do the Roses still bloom?

Today is the first anniversary of my Mum's death. Mum loved her roses very much, she had them planted in different varieties in such a way that there would always be a bush in bloom throughout the summer. When dad passed away a few years ago she was even given a special rose bush in memory of him.

The picture above is one of her rose bushes that was taken just after her funeral.

The house is sold now and I have no idea what has happened to her wonderful roses. I like to think that the new owner has kept them and is tending them well.

R.I.P. Mum - I miss you.

Changing Life Maps

(Rough thoughts for tomorrow morning's Contemplative Service)

I grew up with a world map that looked roughly like this:

Running vertically down the middle of the page was the Prime Meridian. This had the effect of putting Great Britain just slightly above center in the map. when I moved to the U.S. however world maps changed:

Suddenly the U.S. is central whilst Great Britain is relegated over to the right hand side and Russia is truncated by the edge of the map.

In the Ancient world, many maps looked different again:

For the Ancients - Jerusalem, the Holy City, Mount Zion was right at the center of the map.

Psalm 48 says:

"The Lord is great and worthy to be praised in the city of our God. His holy mountain rises in beauty, the joy of the earth.

Mount Zion, true pole of the earth, the Great King's city. God, in the midst of the Citadels, has shown himself its stronghold."

For the Psalmist the center of the world - was Mount Zion, the presence of God. God was the 'pole' around which the world revolved.

If I was to draw a 'map of my life' I know what I'd like to see at the center, but honesty would compel me to tell a different story. God is 'central' to my life, but there are many other 'centers' that pull for my attention. I worship, preach and pray God for much of my week, but then there are sometimes when my 'axis' is tilted and I begin to revolve around other things.

I have a large 'island' called 'Worst Case Scenario' that frequently pushes God out of the center spot. I can be a 'worrywart' and a 'stress monkey'. Another contender for center space is a little wasteland called 'What do they think of me?' It's a landmass that can consume way too much of my waking hours if I let it. A desert that I'm learning to visit a lot less as I grow older, but one that I still take vacations to is called 'Guilt is good for me'.

If you were to draw a map of your life right now - what places would be there? What would be central? Offer a map of yourself that is drawn as honestly as you can to God in prayer.

Animals answer 'What is Art?'

Urinetown Rehearsal Pics

Here are some photos taken by a fellow cast member on his cellphone whilst we rehearsed my opening number :)

This is me with some of my staff fawning all over me.

Mark dances with Alison while I rest on the desk.

What's a Broadway musical without a kickline?!

A slight altercation over my dancing abilites :)

Reaching the high notes while channeling Patti LuPone!

Go To Work, Learn Lines, Remember Blocking, Practice Choreography.....

Life right now is Work, Rehearse, Sleep - repeat! But in those odd down times late at night (or when I'm waiting for my ride to arrive) there is a new contender for my time.

Watching Absolutely Fabulous on our new t.v. Thanks for the box set Steve :)

Alien Life Forms in the Kitchen?

Well not quite, but the picture does look a little weird.

Two weeks ago I blogged about cooking Pork Loin. I had some friends over Sunday night, and as pork loin is on special offer right now I decided to cook another one. The only problem was I didn't have enough butchers twine.

For some reason reason butchers twine is difficult to obtain. I've tried buying it in my local Krogers before and had no luck. In the end I asked in the meat department and somebody felt sorry for me and gave me some for free. The only place I know to purchase it in Houston is at speciality cook shops. Is no one cooking roasts any more? Why such a decline in demand???

So I'm in Sur La Table on Saturday buying a smaller roasting rack (as my current one is turkey sized) and I'm planning to pick up some butchers twine too.

Well next to the twine was these wonderful reusable silicone clippy things. They come in a mesh bag so when you've used them you can run them through the dish washer. They actually work well and it was a lot quicker slipping them on the roast than all that fiddly knot tying!

'Happy' Birthday to Me?

I'm 41 today, it's not exactly a milestone birthday I know, but this is a tough one.

Birthdays have always seemed slightly weird to me. When I was a child I eschewed traditional celebrations, I didn't want a birthday party. Instead we usually went as a family to Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach to ride the wooden roller coaster and whatever other new rides they had.

When I turned 21 I didn't have a party. Instead I got a more expensive present (my first ever c.d. player) and a small group of us went out to eat at Oscars - an American themed restaurant in Norwich that closed up years ago. I remember feeling so cosmopolitan as I ordered my Mushroom and Red Wine Burger, and I remember the deterioration into general silliness as we made each other consume large metal spoons with Ice Cream and Black Peppercorns on them - it made sense at the time.

So how am I celebrating my birthday today? Any thrill rides? Exotic food combinations?

I am having lunch with my Financial Advisor.

And tonight I have a costume fitting and a three hour rehearsal for Urinetown.



Last year I had a birthday weekend, boardgames and a big potluck party.

Then I flew to England for the last week of my Mother's life. :(

I think that's why my birthday has kind of slid by this time. I find myself thinking about 'this time last year'. Replaying the events of that very emotionally charged time. And I find myself feeling sad, and wistful and in surprise at how much my life has changed in One Year - heck I never even had need of a Financial Advisor a year ago.

When I worked for the Wesley Foundation in Lubbock we would do the same pattern each day of Holy Week, a lunch time study where a different staff member would walk us through what Jesus did that day. It became our way of entering into the Passion Narratives - even if everyone would try and avoid having to lead the study the day Jesus cursed the Fig Tree.

But in the midst of the anguish and darkness of the Cross, we always knew that Sunday was coming - the Resurrection was around the corner and the story would have a happy ending.

Not so the week I am about to walk through. My mother's 'Passion' was a messy death with no surprise ending. It was a roller coaster of emotions. It was a 'thrill ride' that had it's humorous moments (generally provided unintentionally by my brother) but it was ultimately a horrible experience, and I was so glad I was there.

I wonder if the disciples sat around a year after Jesus' death and resurrection and reflected on how different their world had become?

I just read through all my old blog posts concerning the last week of my Mum's life and had a little weep in my office - it's my birthday, so if I want to be emotionally melodramatic and throw myself a Pity Party at least it means I get a Party. I was going to type about how I'm going to 'pull myself together' and 'cheer up'. But no, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to experience all the emotions I'm having without labeling them as 'Good' or 'Bad' and I'm acknowledge that the depth that I grieve is a reflection of the depth that I love.

It's my birthday - and I wouldn't be here today without Mum, so it seems appropriate that I allow myself to mourn her a little today.


Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear Peter
Happy birthday to me

So you want to be President??? Bite Me!!!!!!!!

I was in a different Kroger than usual buying food for yet another Pork Loin Roast for tomorrow and a yummy sausage casserole (a packet mix that is produced in my hometown).

I was wandering past the bakery section when I spied a cookie so scary that I had to take a photograph.'American Hero - John McCain'. On prominent display nestled in the folds of Old Glory. Well I was curious to see whether Kroger practiced Partisan Politics, after all I do live deep in the heart of George Bush Country, in fact his dad's favorite Pizza Place is just round the corner from where I work.

Well after a bit of snooping I discovered this:It was tucked round the other side of the display in a very low traffic area, I had to hunt to find it. Note the lack of U.S. flag anywhere around him.

I did not grow up very political, I would say the average person in the U.K. esp. of my generation is not as vehement about Party Politics as the equivalent age group here in the U.S. It surprised me when I first moved to Lubbock a) How political the students were and b) How Conservative Christianity and the Republican Party seemed very closely aligned. The second point esp. surprised me because most of the Conservative Christians I know in the U.K. are very anti Bush and his policies (then again so are many Republicans I know).

Growing up in the U.K. I definitely never saw Margaret Thatcher's face on a giant cookie and even if it was, anyone who purchased it would mercilessly ridiculed.

There seems to be very English trait that we don't get overly earnest or zealous about anything. We may care deeply and passionately about many things, but it is all communicated with reserve - unless we've been drinking at soccer games of course!

But back to the cookies. I almost considered doing a quick swap of Barack and John to see if anyone would notice and complain, but I needed to hunt down the parsnips so I let them be.

One thought did cross my mind though, 'I wonder what flavor they both are?'

How not to apologize to a policeman.

Very funny - if a little crude.

Entering the Unknown

There comes a moment

when there arises in your soul

a movement that you are

at a loss to describe.

It moves you to desire

you know not what,

only that is is beyond your imagining.

It is God at work within you.

~The Cloud of Unknowing

Frequent readers of my blog will have noticed a strong theme in some of my 'God Thoughts' lately.

The theme is one of Unknowing/Uncertainty.

Read Part 1

Read part 2

Read further thoughts

A great Medival Treatise on Unknowing/Uncertainty is called 'The Cloud of Unknowing' (See quote above).

Problem is it is a dense text in medival english - not exactly light bedtime reading.

Prompted by a friend I have picked up a copy of 'There is a God, There is No God' . I should be reading my required books for my course this Fall, but there is something about this book that has captured me. I only read a couple of pages last night but I loved the following quote:

"There comes a moment when attention must be paid. A time to look, to listen, to stop running, a time to choose, a time to act, a time to forsake my safety zones, a time for letting down my defenses.

A time for letting go.

A time to surrender my need to know, to understand.

A time to embrace mystery as my native land.

And silence as my native tongue."

(Did you spot the reference to 'Death of a Salesman'?)

As someone who has grown up in a belief system of Fundamental Certainty, the idea of mystery and silence is wonderful and scary - and yet it is is mystery that opens us up to God's grace.

If I say with certainty 'I am right, you are wrong' then there is no space for grace between us. But if we both acknowledge 'I could be wrong and you could be right' then there is space for grace, space for dialogue, space for wonder, and space for mystery.

I'm hoping that my journey into the book will be a journey into Grace.