Changing Life Maps

(Rough thoughts for tomorrow morning's Contemplative Service)

I grew up with a world map that looked roughly like this:

Running vertically down the middle of the page was the Prime Meridian. This had the effect of putting Great Britain just slightly above center in the map. when I moved to the U.S. however world maps changed:

Suddenly the U.S. is central whilst Great Britain is relegated over to the right hand side and Russia is truncated by the edge of the map.

In the Ancient world, many maps looked different again:

For the Ancients - Jerusalem, the Holy City, Mount Zion was right at the center of the map.

Psalm 48 says:

"The Lord is great and worthy to be praised in the city of our God. His holy mountain rises in beauty, the joy of the earth.

Mount Zion, true pole of the earth, the Great King's city. God, in the midst of the Citadels, has shown himself its stronghold."

For the Psalmist the center of the world - was Mount Zion, the presence of God. God was the 'pole' around which the world revolved.

If I was to draw a 'map of my life' I know what I'd like to see at the center, but honesty would compel me to tell a different story. God is 'central' to my life, but there are many other 'centers' that pull for my attention. I worship, preach and pray God for much of my week, but then there are sometimes when my 'axis' is tilted and I begin to revolve around other things.

I have a large 'island' called 'Worst Case Scenario' that frequently pushes God out of the center spot. I can be a 'worrywart' and a 'stress monkey'. Another contender for center space is a little wasteland called 'What do they think of me?' It's a landmass that can consume way too much of my waking hours if I let it. A desert that I'm learning to visit a lot less as I grow older, but one that I still take vacations to is called 'Guilt is good for me'.

If you were to draw a map of your life right now - what places would be there? What would be central? Offer a map of yourself that is drawn as honestly as you can to God in prayer.

Animals answer 'What is Art?'

Urinetown Rehearsal Pics

Here are some photos taken by a fellow cast member on his cellphone whilst we rehearsed my opening number :)

This is me with some of my staff fawning all over me.

Mark dances with Alison while I rest on the desk.

What's a Broadway musical without a kickline?!

A slight altercation over my dancing abilites :)

Reaching the high notes while channeling Patti LuPone!

Go To Work, Learn Lines, Remember Blocking, Practice Choreography.....

Life right now is Work, Rehearse, Sleep - repeat! But in those odd down times late at night (or when I'm waiting for my ride to arrive) there is a new contender for my time.

Watching Absolutely Fabulous on our new t.v. Thanks for the box set Steve :)

Alien Life Forms in the Kitchen?

Well not quite, but the picture does look a little weird.

Two weeks ago I blogged about cooking Pork Loin. I had some friends over Sunday night, and as pork loin is on special offer right now I decided to cook another one. The only problem was I didn't have enough butchers twine.

For some reason reason butchers twine is difficult to obtain. I've tried buying it in my local Krogers before and had no luck. In the end I asked in the meat department and somebody felt sorry for me and gave me some for free. The only place I know to purchase it in Houston is at speciality cook shops. Is no one cooking roasts any more? Why such a decline in demand???

So I'm in Sur La Table on Saturday buying a smaller roasting rack (as my current one is turkey sized) and I'm planning to pick up some butchers twine too.

Well next to the twine was these wonderful reusable silicone clippy things. They come in a mesh bag so when you've used them you can run them through the dish washer. They actually work well and it was a lot quicker slipping them on the roast than all that fiddly knot tying!

'Happy' Birthday to Me?

I'm 41 today, it's not exactly a milestone birthday I know, but this is a tough one.

Birthdays have always seemed slightly weird to me. When I was a child I eschewed traditional celebrations, I didn't want a birthday party. Instead we usually went as a family to Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach to ride the wooden roller coaster and whatever other new rides they had.

When I turned 21 I didn't have a party. Instead I got a more expensive present (my first ever c.d. player) and a small group of us went out to eat at Oscars - an American themed restaurant in Norwich that closed up years ago. I remember feeling so cosmopolitan as I ordered my Mushroom and Red Wine Burger, and I remember the deterioration into general silliness as we made each other consume large metal spoons with Ice Cream and Black Peppercorns on them - it made sense at the time.

So how am I celebrating my birthday today? Any thrill rides? Exotic food combinations?

I am having lunch with my Financial Advisor.

And tonight I have a costume fitting and a three hour rehearsal for Urinetown.



Last year I had a birthday weekend, boardgames and a big potluck party.

Then I flew to England for the last week of my Mother's life. :(

I think that's why my birthday has kind of slid by this time. I find myself thinking about 'this time last year'. Replaying the events of that very emotionally charged time. And I find myself feeling sad, and wistful and in surprise at how much my life has changed in One Year - heck I never even had need of a Financial Advisor a year ago.

When I worked for the Wesley Foundation in Lubbock we would do the same pattern each day of Holy Week, a lunch time study where a different staff member would walk us through what Jesus did that day. It became our way of entering into the Passion Narratives - even if everyone would try and avoid having to lead the study the day Jesus cursed the Fig Tree.

But in the midst of the anguish and darkness of the Cross, we always knew that Sunday was coming - the Resurrection was around the corner and the story would have a happy ending.

Not so the week I am about to walk through. My mother's 'Passion' was a messy death with no surprise ending. It was a roller coaster of emotions. It was a 'thrill ride' that had it's humorous moments (generally provided unintentionally by my brother) but it was ultimately a horrible experience, and I was so glad I was there.

I wonder if the disciples sat around a year after Jesus' death and resurrection and reflected on how different their world had become?

I just read through all my old blog posts concerning the last week of my Mum's life and had a little weep in my office - it's my birthday, so if I want to be emotionally melodramatic and throw myself a Pity Party at least it means I get a Party. I was going to type about how I'm going to 'pull myself together' and 'cheer up'. But no, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to experience all the emotions I'm having without labeling them as 'Good' or 'Bad' and I'm acknowledge that the depth that I grieve is a reflection of the depth that I love.

It's my birthday - and I wouldn't be here today without Mum, so it seems appropriate that I allow myself to mourn her a little today.


Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear Peter
Happy birthday to me

So you want to be President??? Bite Me!!!!!!!!

I was in a different Kroger than usual buying food for yet another Pork Loin Roast for tomorrow and a yummy sausage casserole (a packet mix that is produced in my hometown).

I was wandering past the bakery section when I spied a cookie so scary that I had to take a photograph.'American Hero - John McCain'. On prominent display nestled in the folds of Old Glory. Well I was curious to see whether Kroger practiced Partisan Politics, after all I do live deep in the heart of George Bush Country, in fact his dad's favorite Pizza Place is just round the corner from where I work.

Well after a bit of snooping I discovered this:It was tucked round the other side of the display in a very low traffic area, I had to hunt to find it. Note the lack of U.S. flag anywhere around him.

I did not grow up very political, I would say the average person in the U.K. esp. of my generation is not as vehement about Party Politics as the equivalent age group here in the U.S. It surprised me when I first moved to Lubbock a) How political the students were and b) How Conservative Christianity and the Republican Party seemed very closely aligned. The second point esp. surprised me because most of the Conservative Christians I know in the U.K. are very anti Bush and his policies (then again so are many Republicans I know).

Growing up in the U.K. I definitely never saw Margaret Thatcher's face on a giant cookie and even if it was, anyone who purchased it would mercilessly ridiculed.

There seems to be very English trait that we don't get overly earnest or zealous about anything. We may care deeply and passionately about many things, but it is all communicated with reserve - unless we've been drinking at soccer games of course!

But back to the cookies. I almost considered doing a quick swap of Barack and John to see if anyone would notice and complain, but I needed to hunt down the parsnips so I let them be.

One thought did cross my mind though, 'I wonder what flavor they both are?'

How not to apologize to a policeman.

Very funny - if a little crude.

Entering the Unknown

There comes a moment

when there arises in your soul

a movement that you are

at a loss to describe.

It moves you to desire

you know not what,

only that is is beyond your imagining.

It is God at work within you.

~The Cloud of Unknowing

Frequent readers of my blog will have noticed a strong theme in some of my 'God Thoughts' lately.

The theme is one of Unknowing/Uncertainty.

Read Part 1

Read part 2

Read further thoughts

A great Medival Treatise on Unknowing/Uncertainty is called 'The Cloud of Unknowing' (See quote above).

Problem is it is a dense text in medival english - not exactly light bedtime reading.

Prompted by a friend I have picked up a copy of 'There is a God, There is No God' . I should be reading my required books for my course this Fall, but there is something about this book that has captured me. I only read a couple of pages last night but I loved the following quote:

"There comes a moment when attention must be paid. A time to look, to listen, to stop running, a time to choose, a time to act, a time to forsake my safety zones, a time for letting down my defenses.

A time for letting go.

A time to surrender my need to know, to understand.

A time to embrace mystery as my native land.

And silence as my native tongue."

(Did you spot the reference to 'Death of a Salesman'?)

As someone who has grown up in a belief system of Fundamental Certainty, the idea of mystery and silence is wonderful and scary - and yet it is is mystery that opens us up to God's grace.

If I say with certainty 'I am right, you are wrong' then there is no space for grace between us. But if we both acknowledge 'I could be wrong and you could be right' then there is space for grace, space for dialogue, space for wonder, and space for mystery.

I'm hoping that my journey into the book will be a journey into Grace.

Live Blogging Pork Roast!

(Blogging Live beginning at Saturday 7:10pm)

Allow your joint of meat to come to room temperature.

First tie the pork roast (to insure even roasting), season with salt and fresh ground black pepper and then brown in the skillet. Brown the side with fat last and try not to move it too often so a good amount of burnt bits (fond) stay in the skillet because you'll use them later.It's best to use a skillet that isn't non-stick, but I don't have one at the moment.

Meanwhile toss potatoes, carrots and onions with some vegetable oil, salt and fresh ground black pepper and put them in the roasting pan with the v-rack above them.

O.K. my v.rack is too big as I bought it for the Christmas Turkey, but it will do.

Put the roast on the rack and put it all in a preheated oven at 300F

Cook until the internal temperature of the pork reaches 135F which takes about 45-55 mins. A really impressive meat thermometer like mine is handy here.

You really don't have anything to do for the next 45 minutes but get ready for when the roast comes out.

When that happens, increase the oven temperature to 500F.

Put the roast on a board and cover with foil - the internal temperature will continue to increase until it reaches 145-150F. (The U.S.D.A. recommend and internal temp of 160F but that generally creates a very dry tough meat. Cooks Illustrated recommends 145F as the parasites that cause Trichinosis are killed at 137F and the meat will still be moist)

The resting also redistributes the meat juices and stops them running out when you carve.

Sprinkle some fresh sage on the vegetables and then put them back in the oven for 15-20 mins stirring occasionally to finish roasting.

When you have as many spices/seasonings as I do, it's helpful to get everything out in plenty of time. :)

Meanwhile, remember that skillet? We're gonna make a pan sauce.

Finely chop 2 shallots. Cook them in the pan over a medium heat for 4-5 minutes until softened, scraping up the burnt pits from the pan.

Add 2 cups chicken broth, bay leaves (not pictured), 1 teaspoon dried thyme, 1/4 teaspoon sugar and simmer until the sauce is reduced to by half - about 15 minutes.

(The pork resting tented in foil - with the thermometer in it, while the pan sauce reduces and the vegetables cook)

Remove from heat, discard the bay leaves and add 2 teaspoons of lemon juice.

Slice pork and serve immediately with the roast veggies and the Pan Sauce.

Ready to serve - just go through the line :)

Yum Yum Yum

Multi-dimensional Legos!

I loved Legos as a kid and I also love the work of M.C. Escher - I wish I'd thought to build this though!

This is the print on which it is based:

The Bride and Groom will Now cut the Cheese

Somebody I worked with in the U.K. about 20 years ago got married this weekend. A friend was kind enough to send me some pictures. I love the Wedding Cake, it's all different kinds of cheese!!! They served it at the reception with different french breads and fruit - yummy!

For more cheese humor click here

Aaaargh! My Eyes!!!

I'm amazed at how red my eyes are this morning - it's like I spent yesterday smoking weed or something!

I was up for 21 1/2 hours on Sunday, maybe that has something to do with it.

So here's how I spent the last week.

Mon: Work then 3 hour rehearsal
Tues: Work then 3 hour rehearsal
Wed: Work then 3 hour rehearsal
Thurs: Work, 3 hour rehearsal then board gaming
Fri: Sleep late! Go see 'Iron Man' then 3 hour rehearsal
Sat: 2 hour rehearsal, go see 'Indiana Jones'. Chinese food, collapse in front of t.v. until the cable goes out.
Sun: Sing a major work in 3 services, plus play for a fourth. Cook lunch. Go house shopping with Steve. Make Tres Leches cake, make Chili. Van with Steve's stuff arrives at 10pm - finish unloading and get to bed at 3:30am
Mon: Get up at 6:30am (3 hours of sleep). Drive Steve to the airport, go to Lowes, go to bed.
2pm friends arrive for gaming. We played Uptown, Die Kutschfhart zur Teuflesburg, Survive, Wits and Wagers, Vegas Showdown and Pandemic before I kicked everyone out.

I was in bed by 10pm and slept till 7am, so why are my eyes so red???

Wade in the Water

The book of Revelation describes a River of the Water of Life that flows from the throne of God and the Lamb. Richard Rohr calls water 'a symbol of God's constant and gracious invitation to union with Him.' Its an invitation into something more, something larger than ourselves. To step across a boundary into a new experience - Ezekiel 47:1-12 has the Temple (symbolic of God's swelling place on earth) transforming into a mighty deep river. The presence of God no longer contained within any boundaries we place on Him but pouring forth into the world giving nourishment to all.

A lot of the medieval mystics use the language of the River when they describe their experiences of God as flowing out toward them and through them. God longs for us to experience 'the River of His Presence'. I remember being in a prayer time once when I was in my 'Charismatic Phase' (blush) that I had an experience of the Presence of God that felt like standing under a giant waterfall.

I believe all of us, no matter what our Denomination, Creed or belief system (formalized or not) spend every moment of our lives in the River of God. God is constantly pouring Himself into our lives not because of who we are but because of who He is.

How are you experiencing God's river at this moment in your life?

How deep is the water around you? Ankles? Waist? Are you submerged?

Is the water calm? - are you experiencing 'Quiet Waters'? or are you in the 'Storm of God's Spirit'? Reflect without judgement - it may be that the Storm is God's gift to You at this moment in your life.

Do you feel as if you are moving with or against the current?

In what parts of your life are you aware of the 'river' and where are you oblivious?

Getting in touch with my inner hunter

This is an old pic from about 4 - 5 years ago. A friend took me Bow Fishing. It was quite an adventure. Standing on a platform on a boat in the dark trying to aim at fish under the water (and of course correct for Refraction). do all of that while swatting the bugs who have swarmed to feast on your skin attracted by the flood light on the front of the boat that we put on to attract the fish. I hit a fish but I didn't put enough energy behind the shot to impale it.

Rename the Package Please!

I'm not feeling well, I'm running a bit of a temperature, I am congested and coughing/sneezing.

Last night I decided to take something before going to bed.

I normally find my body responds very well to TheraFlu when I have these symptoms. So I went to my medicine cabinet for a look see.

I only had the daytime 'Non Drowsy' mix.

'No problem!' thought I, I don't need anything to put me to sleep, I'm so tired that I'll fall asleep naturally, so it doesn't matter that it's Non-Drowsy.

Bad mistake.

The active ingredients are Acetaminophen, Dextromethorphan hydrochloride and Pseudophedrine hydrocholoride.

I had forgotten how my body reacts to Pseudophedrine.

Side effects include: Central Nervous System stimulation, sleeplessness, nervousness, excitability, dizziness and anxiety.

I was trying to sleep but my Spirit was out Clubbing.

I was trying to rest but my body was dancing at 140 beats per minute.

I've had this experience before, I guess the cold addled my brain so I wasn't thinking when I downed the demon TheraFlu.


'Non-Drowsy' should immediately be renamed as 'Anti-Drowsy'!!!!!!!


Needless to say I feel like crap today, so I'm off to bed!

Warm Sticky Tasty Goodness - a visual recipe

Take 20 frozen dinner rolls and cover roll them in cinnamon to coat them.
Place them in a greased bundt pan over the top of a layer of chopped nuts.
Sprinkle vanilla pudding mix and brown sugar on top and then pour over over 1/4 cup of melted butter.

Leave covered on the kitchen counter overnight to defrost and rise.

Then bake in a 350 oven for 25 minutes.

Let sit in the pan for 5 minutes and then turn out and enjoy the warm yummy goodness :)

Questions for Reflection

Outside My Window … the church music department corridor (behold the joys of the glass walled office)

***

I am thinking … I need to start my reading for my course in the Fall and I need to surf the web for a good sausage casserole recipe.

***

I am thankful for …the Seniors planning and leading worship this weekend so I get some time off.

***

From the kitchen … chips and salsa.

***

I am wearing … blue jeans shorts, a 'War and Peas' t shirt and Tevas.

***

I am creating … an arrangement of a Shape Note Music piece for the choir.

***

I am going … shopping when I leave work.

***

I am reading … Holy Listening by Margaret Guenther.

***

I am hoping … that my 2 oclock meeting is a lot calmer than it usually is.

***

I am hearing … the whirr of the air conditioning vent.

***

Around the house … are way too many unpacked boxes.

***

One of my favorite things … a hot cup of tea with milk and sugar and a N.Y. Times crossword puzzle.

***

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week... unpacking, rehearsing, playing boardgames, tidying, sleeping and going to the airport to get Steve.

***Here is a picture that I am sharing …

(yes I really could grow hair once upon a time)

If you've read this far...consider yourself tagged. Answer these questions on your blog and leave me a comment here so I know to go read them.

My Songwriting Process

A few weeks ago I posted the lyrics to song that I wrote whilst on retreat.

You can read them here.

I thought you might be interested in a picture of my songwriting process.

I know it's a bit hard to read and as I used some scrap paper that was convenient the underside has shown through - but you can see the process.

I started with the phrase 'There are burning bushes everywhere' which I wrote in the middle of the paper. I then brainstormed using word association on various words within that phrase. The words and ideas that came out of that brainstorming became the basis for the message and the lyrics of the song.

Pretty cool!

Baking Baking

I made my first Tres Leches cake yesterday.
(Readers from the U.K. can learn about what the cake is by clicking here)

I know fruit on the top is slightly unusual. The recipe said to top it with Mango and Papaya, but I thought strawberries and blueberries would be a nice combo.

If you want the recipe to make it yourself click here but be warned it has a couple of tricky steps involved.

A New Twist on Communion Wine?

This morning for Pentecost we sang many songs in different languages to mirror the experience of the early church in Acts chapter 2.

When we served Communion instead of the usual 'The Body of Christ' and 'The blood of Christ' we served in Spanish.

'El cuerpo de Cristo' and 'La sangra de Cristo'

I've never taken Spanish - it's not taught in English schools. I've studied a little French and German and I can sing in various languages, but I'm so glad I was leading worship rather than serving the bread and wine this morning. My tongue was getting caught over the pronunciation, and I found myself saying:

'El cuervo de Cristo' and 'La sangria de Cristo'

which, roughly translated means:

'The Tequila of Christ' and 'The fruit wine punch of Christ'


What this says about me, I shudder to think :)

Some Very Nerd Humor

I own both these games!!!!

(sorry it is so small)

Anglo Saxon attitudes

An interesting article on differences of views between the U.S. and the U.K. is here

A Transvestite Comic Comments on the Church of England

Very funny (and with some interesting wry observations) - but not suitable for minors....you have been warned!!!

It makes me smile

When I log on to my Gmail account there is a single ad that appears that Google places over the inbox that tries to be relevant to the content of my emails.

I occasionally click on them.

When I access my Spam folder on Gmail - all the ads are Spam Recipes

They are terrifying and intriguing all at once.

And the fact that they are there, just makes me smile.

After a short stay in the U.S.

Michelangelo's David returned to Europe

I know how he feels!

I don't like it

This Sunday is Pentecost - this is the celebration of the birth of the Church. God pouring out His Spirit as told in the book of Acts. It is celebrated World Wide and along with Christmas and Easter is one of the big holidays of the church.

It's also Mother's Day - a day with debatable origins:

"The United States celebrates Mother's Day on the second Sunday in May. In the United States, Mother's Day was loosely inspired by the British day and was imported by social activist Julia Ward Howe after the American Civil War. However, it was intended as a call to unite women against war. In 1870, she wrote the Mother's Day Proclamation as a call for peace and disarmament. Howe failed in her attempt to get formal recognition of a Mother's Day for Peace. Her idea was influenced by Ann Jarvis, a young Appalachian homemaker who, starting in 1858, had attempted to improve sanitation through what she called Mothers' Work Days. She organized women throughout the Civil War to work for better sanitary conditions for both sides, and in 1868 she began work to reconcile Union and Confederate neighbors.
When Jarvis died in 1907, her daughter, named Anna Jarvis, started the crusade to found a memorial day for women. The first such Mother's Day was celebrated in Grafton, West Virginia, on 10 May 1908, in the church where the elder Ann Jarvis had taught Sunday School. Originally the Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church, this building is now the International Mother's Day Shrine (a National Historic Landmark). From there, the custom caught on — spreading eventually to 45 states. The holiday was declared officially by some states beginning in 1912. In 1914 President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother's Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.
Nine years after the first official Mother's Day, commercialization of the U.S. holiday became so rampant that Anna Jarvis herself became a major opponent of what the holiday had become. Mother's Day continues to this day to be one of the most commercially successful U.S. occasions. According to the National Restaurant Association, Mother's Day is now the most popular day of the year to dine out at a restaurant in the United States."

In church this weekend we are having Mother's Day celebrations and Pentecost - the Birth of the Church is passing by almost unnoticed.

I don't like it.........and it could also be that this is my first Mother's Day since my mum died :( I could kinda miss the U.K. one as it happened way back before Easter.

Poem for Thought

This is a poem by Nathan Brown, Norman, Oklahoma. I encountered it whilst on retreat at Laity Lodge and really liked it so I thought I would post it here. I don't have permission, but if he sees it and complains I will gladly take it down again.


Between Two Artists

Dear God,
I have always admired
your work. And were it not for that,
I wouldn't bother you with this.

But I must say, your installation peice
at the Point Lobos Nature Reserve
above Big Sur simply goes too far.

The Monterey Pines are too tall,
the Cypresses too fanned out
in perfection with trunks tied
to intricate knots that would take
centuries to unravel.

The cliffs appear
superimposed for dramatic effect
with impossible jags giving way
to fairytale caves that burst forth
gushes of blue water like a French soda
topped with cotton candy cream spray.

The crashes of waves and explosions of foam
are too much like a Disney Land ride.
There are too many kinds of birds, too many
varieties of plants, and too much color in both.

In short, it lacks integrity. It does not speak
to the truth of the way things are. And I don't
think viewers will trust or believe its authenticity.


(From 'Suffer the Little Voices', Greystone Press, Edmond OK 2005)

It's a Privilege to Pee

Well, it's official. I'm doing my first Musical in years. :)

I will be playing Caldwell B.Cladwell in a production of Urinetown! For plot info click here.

Caldwell B. Cladwell is the evil president and owner of the Urine Good Company, a miserly moneygrubber who gleefully exploits the poor with his outrageous toilet fees. Cladwell is the capitalist pig of the show.

I hope I wasnt typecast!

Rehearsals are every week night starting May 19th - so this musical will be taking over my life.

Performances are June 27, 28, 29, July 1,2,3,5 and 6

So if you are anywhere close...come see me sing and dance!

Seeking Burning Bushes

Earth’s crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God; but only he who sees, takes off his shoes –
the rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.
~~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A dusty path, a dreary land
A wooden staff in weathered hand
A holy blaze that never dies
A miracle before the eyes
A stumbling onto holy ground
God revealed in sight and sound
As it was for Moses why not me?
If I can teach my eyes to see

There are burning bushes everywhere
Fiery flowers, blazing for hours
Waiting for us to see them there
The red and the green, dancing unseen through our days
Lighting the path, keeping our lives ablaze.

The roll of dice, the belly laugh
The ancient tale, the photograph
The mouse's click, the lovers' kiss
all of Heaven speaks through this
The taste of bread, the t.v. show
Are signs for those who are in the know
How I take for granted daily grace
The voice of God is common place

For there are burning bushes everywhere
Fiery flowers, blazing for hours
Waiting for us to see them there
The red and the green, dancing unseen through our days
Lighting the path, keeping our lives ablaze.

It's not that God is far away
Only whispering on special days
Our lives are spent on holy ground
God speaks so much we ignore the sound

When there are burning bushes everywhere
Fiery flowers, blazing for hours
Waiting for us to see them there
The red and the green, dancing unseen through our days
Lighting the path, keeping our lives ablaze.



I wrote the above song whilst away on a retreat this weekend. I sat down staring at a bush and reflected on what are the common 'burning bushes' (signs of God's presence) in my life. Those places, people, activities etc that fill me up and help me feel connected to something much larger than just myself. Board Games, emails, fresh home made bread may not be 'bushes' for you, but they are for me.

So the question is:

What are your 'burning bushes'?

Finally I understand U.S. Politics

Exisiting in a Sea of Cardboarrd

Its been a while since I posted as I've been out of town on a retreat and moving house!

I needed a break today so I called my friend Cason and had lunch with him.

Behold the glorious leftovers from Double Daves Pizza!!!!!

I've been Tagged......

My friend Emileigh tagged me on her blog to write 7 random facts about myself....so here they are in no particular order.

1) I have seen every episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer - that's Seven Seasons, in order from the beginning!

2) I once shook hands with Billy Graham.

3) The most impactful, meaningful conversation I ever had was also probably one of the shortest. It was the last conversation I had with my dad before he died. You can read about it here (pack some kleenex).

4) I got my ear peirced to celebrate the Millenium and my Tattoo to celebrate my birthday.

5) I once played violin in the Royal Albert Hall and the performance was broadcast on the BBC.

6) My left eye does not dilate - the pupil remains the same size no matter how much light goes into it. You can read about my medical condition here.

7) As I've become less 'Fundamental' and 'Conservative' about my faith, I've become more joyous and loving...and I experience God more. I consider that a really good trade off.



So...if you have a blog and you've read my 7 facts...consider yourself TAGGED - so, go write 7 facts in yours :)

Hooray for Vicodin

I have the root canal scheduled today at 3:30pm.

I went without the pain meds to identify which tooth it was (see yesterday's post). I found he tooth and boy did it hurt. I was shouting in the car whilst driving just to get some of the pain out there. Even when I finally did take the Vicodin it still took an hour and a half to get the pain down to a managable level.

So, I'm at work, feeling rather drowsy and waiting till 3:30pm - I don't care how painful the Root Canal is - it can't be as bad as yesterday's pain.

A Tale of Two Teeth

I've posted before about the current state of my teeth - and it's now reaching critical mass SIGH

I went to the Endodontist this morning for a root canal because things are really beginning to hurt. But I didn't get one :(

The problem is I have two teeth adjacent to one another in the back of my mouth both with temporary crowns on them. Even with banging, tapping, prodding, blowing cold air on them and x-raying the Endodontist could not work out which one needed the root canal.

I was left with 2 options -

a) We do one tooth and if it is the wrong one we then go back and do the second (at a cost of $1000 per tooth)

b) Wait until the pain gets worse and the we should be able to identify which tooth needs the work.

So I went for option b. I have some vicodin, but if I take it I won't be able to work out which tooth is the one that is in trouble.

Word for the day - OUCH!!!!!!!!!

Toothache, Theology and Blaise Pascal

Things in my mouth are not good. I took some pain meds last night and woke up at about 5:30am in agony. I've never been woken up by a tooth before. I popped some more pills, and while I lay in the darkness I remembered a story I'd heard about Blaise Pascal.

"Pascal suffered a toothache, which kept him awake at night. In an effort to take his mind off the pain he focused on the cycloid, the curve traced by a point on the circumference of a rolling circle. Pascal solved the problem of the area of any segment of the cycloid and the center of gravity of any segment. He also solved the problems of the volume and surface area of the solid of revolution formed by rotating the cycloid about the x-axis."

I didn't want to get out of bed, so math was out of the question. Instead I reflected on a question that was posed to me by one of my friends who read my blog on 'The Gifts of Uncertainty (Part 2)'.

In it I referenced the often quoted line from Augustine 'Love God and do as you please.' He referenced the events that happened in Texas this week where over 200 children were taken from a Mormon Compound because of suspicions of child abuse, polygamy and forced marriages.

(As a side note......I would have thought the government would have learned after Waco that a compound being built in Texas is not a good thing!)

He asked how I would answer the fact that the Mormon leader probably believed that he was loving God by behaving the way he did.

So far I've come up with many excellent rebuttals to his statement - and I've rejected them all.

Working for a church means it is easy for me to answer using 'christianese', but the answers really don't ring true once I scrape off the veneer. Stay posted and hopefully I'll come up with something - esp. as the dentist hasn't called me back so it looks like I'm going to be consuming vast quantities of Excedrin this weekend.

Try reading this poem aloud!

(Thanks to Mischa for linking to the following poem - I enjoyed attempting to read it aloud so much I thought I would post it in its entirety! )


English is Tough Stuff

We've all cursed written English as capricious and sentenced American Pronunciation Rules as but half-truths at best. Examples and practice always seem better than studying worn and obsolete phonetic guides.

Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.

(Read aloud, with a friend!)

(After all, laughter is the true universal language!)

The Chaos

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, F
riend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Written by Dr. Gerald Nolst Trenite (1870-1946), a Dutch observer of English.

Rhyming Questions

Most people know about the fact that there are no words that rhyme with Orange, partly because there is a strip cartoon with that name:

But can you name three other words, all in common usuage, that have no rhymes (except trick ones of course.)?????

Spam Strudel??!!!!

While logging into my gmail today, a link popped up to a recipe for Spam and Vegetable Strudel that is supposed to come from Mastercook.

I haven't done any random cooking experiments since Dishwasher Lasagna and Tofu and Beetroot Burritos.

Who dares me to make it?????

The Gifts of Uncertainty (Part 2)

I've been planning this post for a while (for Part One click here) but life has gotten in the way. I'm not sure how coherent my follow up ramblings will be, but here goes.

As I've been thinking more about Uncertainty, I've been wrestling with our very natural human desire to divide everything into right and wrong, into black and white. The world is a big complex place, and it is only natural that we categorize and order in an attempt to cope with how overwhelming it really is. If we stopped to think about every issue and every event we would become paralyzed with indecision. Consequently we all consciously or unconsciously create our own Paradigms that enable us to function.

We create Paradigms of Theology, Politics, Social Behavior, Health - in fact we create them about just about everything.

So where did this drive come from?

I'm reading 'Things Hidden -Scripture as Spirituality' by Richard Rohr at the moment. In it he makes a very interesting comment about the Garden of Eden. The tree that Adam and Eve were forbidden to touch was 'The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil'. He refers to it in the book as 'The Tree of Moral Certainty'. Think about it for a moment - Adam and Eve were not created to know right and wrong, they didn't have the knowledge to make those kinds of judgements. It's only as a result of the Fall that they gain that knowledge.

Richard Rohr goes on to comment that it is interesting that many people in the church have made a career out of the consequences of the Fall - they issue loud declarations on Right and Wrong, Good and Evil. They create 'insiders' and 'outsiders'.

One of the largest parts of the Hebrew Scriptures is the 'Law' - exact descriptions of rules, violations and punishments. Everything you need to know so you can be certain of your standing within the Community and with God.

All of this writing, posturing and pontificating all because we ate of 'The Tree of Moral Certainty'.

Am I in danger of becoming a total moral relativist? No. There are some things I am always going to call wrong - consider it residual fruit from the Garden of Eden. But I do think some of the potential for divisiveness in the church today could be removed if we could just embrace a the fact that not everybodys' Christianity will look the same. See here for and earlier blog post on this.

I've heard the saying attributed to Augustine 'Love God, and do as you please'. Maybe we should focus more on helping people achieve the first, and less on moral judgements around the second. If somebody is actively pursuing the first then I think the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, self-control etc) will take care of the second.


So what of these gifts of uncertainty? I've already written about Humility, Community and Introspection (Inner work).

Another gift of uncertainty, that is related to Humility is the gift of Learning. If I consider you 'wrong' then I will conclude that there is nothing you can teach me. If I am honest about uncertainty then suddenly everybody in the world becomes my teacher, and everybody in the world becomes my pupil. A quote I encountered on a friend's blog is helpful here:

“I think if more people were willing to treat beliefs as beliefs instead of facts, it would make talking with each other easier... I guess I’d just like Christians and church leaders to be more honest…with everyone. Stop treating faith as a fact. Call it hope. Call it confidence, not certainty.” Matt Casper, from the book 'Jim and Casper Go to Church'.

I sat up late talking with a friend last night who has a lot of uncertainty happening in his life right now - and I reflected on periods of uncertainty in my life. When I was unsure about whether I was moving to the U.S. or not I spent a lot of time in prayer and seeking counsel from others. My uncertainty led me to a deeper faith. Why does that kind of uncertainty drive people towards God, whereas theological uncertainty and differences of opinion become a barrier between people and lead to schisms and new denominations?

Is there a way the church can learn to use Uncertainty to unite them as they sit together in Tension?

I wish I knew.

So Peter....where are you from?

It's an interesting question, simply because their are more right answers than you might think:


a) The British Isles

b) The United Kingdom

c) Great Britain

d) England


Confused?

Here's how all the terms relate to one another geographically.

I was born there, and I forget the differences at times!

Good Friends and Bad Teeth

I'm beginning to feel rather low about my teeth. Back in February I had a Crown and an Inlay done by my dentist. It was a remarkable pain free event - as are most of my trips to the dentist, but ever since then I've had problems :(

I've been back many times with sensitivity to heat and cold and a dull ache. I went back today for the 5th time and the dentist decided that we need to remove both the crown and the inlay and redo both of them as traditional crowns and fix them in temporarily and see if the problem fixes itself. And if it doesn't he will refer me to a special nerve tooth doctor a.k.a. an endodontist!!!

All I can say is ewwwww.

in other news, I had one of those wonderful conversations with a good friend. Someone who loves me enough to ask difficult questions in their quest for understanding and is willing to sit in the difficult tension that some of my answers give. It's wonderful to have friends who want to discuss the deep things of life and who I know have my 'back' when the chips are down.

Rewriting the Bible

One of my favourite Psalms is 131.

I'm preparing to lead staff worship tomorrow morning, so I sat with the Psalm and paraphrased it to use in the worship time.

This is what I came up with.


Today, I am content with who I am
I am not looking down on others to make me feel o.k.
I am not imagining great schemes or far reaching plans.
I have told my soul to be still,
I am as peaceful as a baby resting in its mother’s arms
My soul is nestled in God like that babe.

People of God; put your hope in Him.
Hope in Him forever.

Great T.V. Commercial

So that's the reason I'm so hairy!!!!

One Hour to Help Save the Planet

Sketch Comedy from My Past

This sketch always makes me laugh every time I see it.

I've been to this restaurant!

Poem of the Day

He drew a circle that shut me out -
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!

Edwin Markham

I Can See The Floor

I gave away half my clothing to a Charity Shop this weekend and did a ton of cleaning and sorting - this is probably the first time in years you can walk in the door of my closet and make it to the back shelves without having to step over something!!!

Building the Labyrinth

Every Good Friday for the past 4 years I have laid out a Prayer Labyrinth for use on Holy Saturday. Here are some pics of this years endeavor.

When laying out a Labyrinth it's always good to eat a hearty breakfast before hand. This one was provided by Gini. Thanks - it was yummy!

We began by laying marker dots all over the carpet, enough to mark out 12 concentric circles all 18 inches apart.

Once they were all stuck down we began to connect them with masking tape.

It's quite rough on the back and the knees.

If you're not careful when crawling around the dots stick all over you.

We've nearly marked out all 12 circles - that's the easy part.

Next, mark out the 4 quadrants.

Then you very carefully remove certain pieces of tape and add a few others, and voila!!!

One Prayer Labyrinth ready to go.

Mentally it's quite exhausting to coordinate - and yes we did check it to make sure nobody will get lost in it.

Thanks to everyone who volunteered their time to make it happen.

Announcing the Death of Jesus of Nazareth - Aged 33

Died: 14th day of the month Nisan in Jerusalem.

Preceded in death by Jacob bar Joseph who raised him as his own son.

Survived by his mother, Mary; brothers James, Joses and Judas, and his sisters.

Jesus of Nazareth was born in Bethlehem of Judea.

His family fled to Egypt when he was two, seeking political asylum.

They returned to Nazareth in Galilee after the death of Herod the Great.

Jesus was apprenticed as a carpenter to Joseph, and worked in the family business until he turned 30.

He was baptized in the Jordan River by his cousin John.

He spent the next 3 years living as an itinerant rabbi, with a small school of 12 disciples.

He devoted his life to serving the least, the last and the lost, wherever he found them.

Despite repeated warnings, his teaching, his work and those he chose to call "friend" drew unwanted attention from the authorities.

The family wish to make it clear that his arrest and immediate trial took place without due process. The charges of blasphemy and of being a threat to national security were not corroborated by a single witness.

He died as he lived: extending forgiveness to those responsible for his execution.

He will be greatly missed by his family, his friends-"the sinners" and by the poor.

The family extends gratitude to Joseph of Arimathea for covering the funeral expenses.

Every Day a Little Death

The title refers to Sondheim song that resonates with me when I'm feeling low.

Every day a little death
In the parlor, in the bed
In the curtains, in the silver
In the buttons, in the bread
Every day a little sting
In the heart and in the head
Every move and every breath
And you hardly feel a thing
Brings a perfect little death



(In it's original incarnation it is two women singing about how relationships die gradually over time. This is not one of my favorite renditions of the song but it was available on YouTube.)

I remember when I first heard this song, I had the Original British Cast Album of 'A Little Night Music' and I played this track over and over - I was a melodramatic 20 something (yes I know, I'm still melodramatic GRIN). Well whenever something happens that causes a little hope in me to die this song seems to float into the back of my mind.

Back in November I wrote about a Christmas Anthem that the choir here loved that everyone was telling me I should send off to the Publishers......read about that here

Well today I got a rejection letter:

Dear Mr. Johns:

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to review your choral arrangement Come See The Mystery. At our recent editorial session our editors had the privilege of review your manuscripts and although they are well done it appears that we won't be able to include them in our future publishing program.

We are sorry we could not be more encouraging. If you would like your manuscripts returned please supply me with your complete address.


Oh well - this is Holy Week, every little death brings me closer to a little Resurrection.

Falafel!

I made Falafel last night for the first time - though I pan fried them rather than deep fried them to be healthy - I've also heard of baking them in the oven too! I used a mix of Pinto Beans, crushed tortilla chips, green onions, egg white, cilantro, basil and cumin.

Here I have just added it to the hot skillet.

Almost cooked through!

Served in pita bread with fresh tomato, arugula and avocado - yum!

Scrabulous / Scrabble

I've been introduced to Scrabulous this weekend. It's basically a Scrabble game that you can play over Facebook. I've never been very good at Scrabble so it's quite frustrating.
It reminded me of this vidlit story - enjoy.