This morning we covered the History of Spiritual Direction in the Contemplative Tradition. This was really an impossible task and something that could take a Semester rather than 2 hours and 15 minutes. The speaker acknowledged that she was presenting from her own Catholic background. I appreciated that she recognized that fact, but I would have liked maybe a little input about Celtic Spirituality and other Protestant Traditions. It felt a little like saying 'yes, we acknowledge this is important and that there are other threads, but it's not important enough for us to devote any time to it'.
Having said that, I am aware that in 2 hours and 15 minutes somethings have to be not said for clarity's sake. I think it's also the fact that I feel in a minority position for me as it seems there are more Catholics than Protestants here - doh, I'm at a Catholic Retreat Center! It seems very 'little' of me to be complaining about a catholic emphasis here. It's a new experience for me to be part of the 'spiritual minority'. It's good for me.
Probably the statement that I found resonated with me the most this morning was "Every human experience can have a religious dimension for the believer who expects to encounter God" ~ William Barry.
One of the threads of my own spiritual journey has been a realization of how much God is present all around me. I think of previous posts about 'Spiritual Where's Waldo' and 'Seeking Burning Bushes'.
The song I wrote 'There Are Burning Bushes Everywhere' was running through my head most of the day.
A dusty path, a dreary land
A wooden staff in weathered hand
A holy blaze that never dies
A miracle before the eyes
A stumbling onto holy ground
God revealed in sight and sound
As it was for Moses why not me?
If I can teach my eyes to see
There are burning bushes everywhere
Fiery flowers, blazing for hours
Waiting for us to see them there
The red and the green, dancing unseen through our days
Lighting the path, keeping our lives ablaze.
The roll of dice, the belly laugh
The ancient tale, the photograph
The mouse's click, the lovers' kiss
All of Heaven speaks through this
The taste of bread, the t.v. show
Are signs for those who are in the know
How I take for granted daily grace
The voice of God is common place
For there are burning bushes everywhere
Fiery flowers, blazing for hours
Waiting for us to see them there
The red and the green, dancing unseen through our days
Lighting the path, keeping our lives ablaze.
It's not that God is far away
Only whispering on special days
Our lives are spent on holy ground
God speaks so much we ignore the sound
When there are burning bushes everywhere
Fiery flowers, blazing for hours
Waiting for us to see them there
The red and the green, dancing unseen through our days
Lighting the path, keeping our lives ablaze.
This whole connection to Burning Bushes came up strongly in the afternoon for me. We talked about the stance of Moses before the Bush being a model of the Director and Directee. When someone comes to us with their stories and experiences they are sharing 'Holy Ground' with us and we should respond like Moses, humble and barefoot.
We then started our practicums and spent time together 'on holy ground'.
In the practicum, one person is the Director, one the Directee, and the rest of us are Compassionate Observers. The Director and Directee do a 20 minute Spiritual Direction session while the rest of us silently watch. At the end of the session we sit and offer where we saw blocks and openings.
Going in to it I was concerned that it would feel like 'Role Play' but not at all. It was clear that there was a genuine sacred safe container made for people to share and be authentic. It was beautiful and a definite 'holy ground'. It was a challenge to just listen and observe. There were topics that came up in the 2 sessions today that I had to 'bracket' and put to one side because they were resonating with things in my own life and spiritual walk.
I also found my 'inner critic' wanting to comment on the way some of the sessions went - saying to myself 'That's not the way to do this'. I have to keep reminding myself that there is no particular 'way' to do this. Their are guidelines and suggestions, but every Director will lead in their own unique way, that's what makes some Directors a good fit to work with some people but not with others.
I think my 'inner critic' is also appearing as a defense mechanism. As I've listened to people's stories and backgrounds I find myself feeling 'unworthy to be here' and 'less than'. With professional therapists and people who've lived a life in Holy Orders in the group it is easy for me to say 'who am I'?
This is an old tape that I carry with me everywhere. I'm glad I had the experience in Lectio Divina yesterday of God reminding me that 'He is the only one who matters'. I thought that was just for my fear about showing up late - but that message is speaking right into my default thought patterns.
Tomorrow I get to be a 'Directee' in one of the sessions. I'm still praying about what I should bring to the discussion. Having seen the process today helps me react and know that God will be there.
No comments:
Post a Comment