Rhyming Questions

Most people know about the fact that there are no words that rhyme with Orange, partly because there is a strip cartoon with that name:

But can you name three other words, all in common usuage, that have no rhymes (except trick ones of course.)?????

Spam Strudel??!!!!

While logging into my gmail today, a link popped up to a recipe for Spam and Vegetable Strudel that is supposed to come from Mastercook.

I haven't done any random cooking experiments since Dishwasher Lasagna and Tofu and Beetroot Burritos.

Who dares me to make it?????

The Gifts of Uncertainty (Part 2)

I've been planning this post for a while (for Part One click here) but life has gotten in the way. I'm not sure how coherent my follow up ramblings will be, but here goes.

As I've been thinking more about Uncertainty, I've been wrestling with our very natural human desire to divide everything into right and wrong, into black and white. The world is a big complex place, and it is only natural that we categorize and order in an attempt to cope with how overwhelming it really is. If we stopped to think about every issue and every event we would become paralyzed with indecision. Consequently we all consciously or unconsciously create our own Paradigms that enable us to function.

We create Paradigms of Theology, Politics, Social Behavior, Health - in fact we create them about just about everything.

So where did this drive come from?

I'm reading 'Things Hidden -Scripture as Spirituality' by Richard Rohr at the moment. In it he makes a very interesting comment about the Garden of Eden. The tree that Adam and Eve were forbidden to touch was 'The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil'. He refers to it in the book as 'The Tree of Moral Certainty'. Think about it for a moment - Adam and Eve were not created to know right and wrong, they didn't have the knowledge to make those kinds of judgements. It's only as a result of the Fall that they gain that knowledge.

Richard Rohr goes on to comment that it is interesting that many people in the church have made a career out of the consequences of the Fall - they issue loud declarations on Right and Wrong, Good and Evil. They create 'insiders' and 'outsiders'.

One of the largest parts of the Hebrew Scriptures is the 'Law' - exact descriptions of rules, violations and punishments. Everything you need to know so you can be certain of your standing within the Community and with God.

All of this writing, posturing and pontificating all because we ate of 'The Tree of Moral Certainty'.

Am I in danger of becoming a total moral relativist? No. There are some things I am always going to call wrong - consider it residual fruit from the Garden of Eden. But I do think some of the potential for divisiveness in the church today could be removed if we could just embrace a the fact that not everybodys' Christianity will look the same. See here for and earlier blog post on this.

I've heard the saying attributed to Augustine 'Love God, and do as you please'. Maybe we should focus more on helping people achieve the first, and less on moral judgements around the second. If somebody is actively pursuing the first then I think the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, self-control etc) will take care of the second.


So what of these gifts of uncertainty? I've already written about Humility, Community and Introspection (Inner work).

Another gift of uncertainty, that is related to Humility is the gift of Learning. If I consider you 'wrong' then I will conclude that there is nothing you can teach me. If I am honest about uncertainty then suddenly everybody in the world becomes my teacher, and everybody in the world becomes my pupil. A quote I encountered on a friend's blog is helpful here:

“I think if more people were willing to treat beliefs as beliefs instead of facts, it would make talking with each other easier... I guess I’d just like Christians and church leaders to be more honest…with everyone. Stop treating faith as a fact. Call it hope. Call it confidence, not certainty.” Matt Casper, from the book 'Jim and Casper Go to Church'.

I sat up late talking with a friend last night who has a lot of uncertainty happening in his life right now - and I reflected on periods of uncertainty in my life. When I was unsure about whether I was moving to the U.S. or not I spent a lot of time in prayer and seeking counsel from others. My uncertainty led me to a deeper faith. Why does that kind of uncertainty drive people towards God, whereas theological uncertainty and differences of opinion become a barrier between people and lead to schisms and new denominations?

Is there a way the church can learn to use Uncertainty to unite them as they sit together in Tension?

I wish I knew.

So Peter....where are you from?

It's an interesting question, simply because their are more right answers than you might think:


a) The British Isles

b) The United Kingdom

c) Great Britain

d) England


Confused?

Here's how all the terms relate to one another geographically.

I was born there, and I forget the differences at times!

Good Friends and Bad Teeth

I'm beginning to feel rather low about my teeth. Back in February I had a Crown and an Inlay done by my dentist. It was a remarkable pain free event - as are most of my trips to the dentist, but ever since then I've had problems :(

I've been back many times with sensitivity to heat and cold and a dull ache. I went back today for the 5th time and the dentist decided that we need to remove both the crown and the inlay and redo both of them as traditional crowns and fix them in temporarily and see if the problem fixes itself. And if it doesn't he will refer me to a special nerve tooth doctor a.k.a. an endodontist!!!

All I can say is ewwwww.

in other news, I had one of those wonderful conversations with a good friend. Someone who loves me enough to ask difficult questions in their quest for understanding and is willing to sit in the difficult tension that some of my answers give. It's wonderful to have friends who want to discuss the deep things of life and who I know have my 'back' when the chips are down.

Rewriting the Bible

One of my favourite Psalms is 131.

I'm preparing to lead staff worship tomorrow morning, so I sat with the Psalm and paraphrased it to use in the worship time.

This is what I came up with.


Today, I am content with who I am
I am not looking down on others to make me feel o.k.
I am not imagining great schemes or far reaching plans.
I have told my soul to be still,
I am as peaceful as a baby resting in its mother’s arms
My soul is nestled in God like that babe.

People of God; put your hope in Him.
Hope in Him forever.

Great T.V. Commercial

So that's the reason I'm so hairy!!!!

One Hour to Help Save the Planet

Sketch Comedy from My Past

This sketch always makes me laugh every time I see it.

I've been to this restaurant!

Poem of the Day

He drew a circle that shut me out -
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!

Edwin Markham

I Can See The Floor

I gave away half my clothing to a Charity Shop this weekend and did a ton of cleaning and sorting - this is probably the first time in years you can walk in the door of my closet and make it to the back shelves without having to step over something!!!

Building the Labyrinth

Every Good Friday for the past 4 years I have laid out a Prayer Labyrinth for use on Holy Saturday. Here are some pics of this years endeavor.

When laying out a Labyrinth it's always good to eat a hearty breakfast before hand. This one was provided by Gini. Thanks - it was yummy!

We began by laying marker dots all over the carpet, enough to mark out 12 concentric circles all 18 inches apart.

Once they were all stuck down we began to connect them with masking tape.

It's quite rough on the back and the knees.

If you're not careful when crawling around the dots stick all over you.

We've nearly marked out all 12 circles - that's the easy part.

Next, mark out the 4 quadrants.

Then you very carefully remove certain pieces of tape and add a few others, and voila!!!

One Prayer Labyrinth ready to go.

Mentally it's quite exhausting to coordinate - and yes we did check it to make sure nobody will get lost in it.

Thanks to everyone who volunteered their time to make it happen.

Announcing the Death of Jesus of Nazareth - Aged 33

Died: 14th day of the month Nisan in Jerusalem.

Preceded in death by Jacob bar Joseph who raised him as his own son.

Survived by his mother, Mary; brothers James, Joses and Judas, and his sisters.

Jesus of Nazareth was born in Bethlehem of Judea.

His family fled to Egypt when he was two, seeking political asylum.

They returned to Nazareth in Galilee after the death of Herod the Great.

Jesus was apprenticed as a carpenter to Joseph, and worked in the family business until he turned 30.

He was baptized in the Jordan River by his cousin John.

He spent the next 3 years living as an itinerant rabbi, with a small school of 12 disciples.

He devoted his life to serving the least, the last and the lost, wherever he found them.

Despite repeated warnings, his teaching, his work and those he chose to call "friend" drew unwanted attention from the authorities.

The family wish to make it clear that his arrest and immediate trial took place without due process. The charges of blasphemy and of being a threat to national security were not corroborated by a single witness.

He died as he lived: extending forgiveness to those responsible for his execution.

He will be greatly missed by his family, his friends-"the sinners" and by the poor.

The family extends gratitude to Joseph of Arimathea for covering the funeral expenses.

Every Day a Little Death

The title refers to Sondheim song that resonates with me when I'm feeling low.

Every day a little death
In the parlor, in the bed
In the curtains, in the silver
In the buttons, in the bread
Every day a little sting
In the heart and in the head
Every move and every breath
And you hardly feel a thing
Brings a perfect little death



(In it's original incarnation it is two women singing about how relationships die gradually over time. This is not one of my favorite renditions of the song but it was available on YouTube.)

I remember when I first heard this song, I had the Original British Cast Album of 'A Little Night Music' and I played this track over and over - I was a melodramatic 20 something (yes I know, I'm still melodramatic GRIN). Well whenever something happens that causes a little hope in me to die this song seems to float into the back of my mind.

Back in November I wrote about a Christmas Anthem that the choir here loved that everyone was telling me I should send off to the Publishers......read about that here

Well today I got a rejection letter:

Dear Mr. Johns:

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to review your choral arrangement Come See The Mystery. At our recent editorial session our editors had the privilege of review your manuscripts and although they are well done it appears that we won't be able to include them in our future publishing program.

We are sorry we could not be more encouraging. If you would like your manuscripts returned please supply me with your complete address.


Oh well - this is Holy Week, every little death brings me closer to a little Resurrection.

Falafel!

I made Falafel last night for the first time - though I pan fried them rather than deep fried them to be healthy - I've also heard of baking them in the oven too! I used a mix of Pinto Beans, crushed tortilla chips, green onions, egg white, cilantro, basil and cumin.

Here I have just added it to the hot skillet.

Almost cooked through!

Served in pita bread with fresh tomato, arugula and avocado - yum!

Scrabulous / Scrabble

I've been introduced to Scrabulous this weekend. It's basically a Scrabble game that you can play over Facebook. I've never been very good at Scrabble so it's quite frustrating.
It reminded me of this vidlit story - enjoy.

The Gifts of Uncertainty (part 1)

(This is a transcription of an old Blog from my previous site. In the past few weeks I've been contemplating writing a sequel, so I thought I would post the original text here.)

I've been thinking a lot the last few days about truth and uncertainty. I recently read a blog online where the writer was defending his right to his opinion on a subject by saying that what he was writing was the 'truth' and if you were offended by hearing the truth it wasn't his fault.

I saw echoes of my former self in his words. I can truly say that there are lots of things of which I used to be 100% right where now I have embraced the gift of uncertainty.

Truth is a difficult thing. We are taught at an early age that 2+2=4. We get a check mark for a correct answer and a cross for anything else. The problem is that truth isn't actually that exclusive. Consider the following:

2+2=4
2+2=11
2+2=10+10=100

For some of you it may appear that I have totally flipped at this moment, but bear with me. I would argue that all 3 equations are correct; you just need to look at them through a different paradigm.

2+2=4 is written in base 10 – the normal base we use for addition.
2+2=11 is written base 3 – 11 means 1 three and 1 unit.
2+2=10+10=100 written in binary – 100 means 1 four, 0 twos and 0 units.

(For those of you who are not math geeks just do some research on wikipedia)
All 3 equations are different and equally valid ways of expressing the 'truth' of 2+2=4.

Many of my former issues where I was convinced I was correct and everyone else could 'either agree with me or be wrong' are like this example. I couldn't agree with that persons answer because I didn't know the paradigm they were coming from. I've since discovered the danger of saying 'You can't possibly call yourself a Christian and believe ________________' (fill in the blank with whatever topic you want). Could it be that you can? Could it be that the other persons Christianity is just a different and equally valid way of expressing the truth that God loves us and longs for us to live for Him (or her)?

Jesus frequently exploded people's paradigms – he redefined the term 'Mother and Brothers' from a biological relationship to one of obedience (Luke 8: 19-21). He expanded the term 'Neighbor' from geographical to relational (Luke 10: 25-37) and he said the way to judge someone was not on their words but on how those words produce fruit in their lives (Matt 7: 15-19)

I once exasperated a friend by pointing out to him that for everyone who agreed with him I could find someone with far more years of study on the topic who would disagree. In frustration he threw up his hands and said 'Well how can you know anything??!'.

Maybe that is one of the gifts of uncertainty – humility.

If I am 100% convinced that I am right and you are wrong then there is a barrier between us. I don't have to be right all the time anymore. As I have become aware of my identity in God I have been able to surrender some of my need to have a narrow dogmatic definition of truth. I've heard it said that whenever we draw a line in the sand and say who is in and who is out, or who is right and who is wrong, that God steps over the line to be with the very people we have excluded.

Certainty erects barriers, but another gift of uncertainty is community.

Another gift of uncertainty is the gift of introspection. I'm slowly learning to ask myself why. Why do I believe this way? Why do I want to reject people who believe differently? What is it about me that needs the certainty?

Richard Rohr writes in 'Everything Belongs'

'There is a small "I" that has to let go so that the true "I" can be born…….The small "I" only knows itself by comparison, by image, by how we look. As long as we are comparing and differentiating from the other, we can't love the other. We judge it. As soon as we are in a judging mode (higher/lower, superior/inferior), we can't love. The small "I" does not permit a realm of freedom where love flourishes. What flourishes is control, comparison, and competition – which blind us to love.'

It tends to be the people who have a strict/judgmental image of God who are the most strict and judgmental in themselves – we become like the God we worship.
I guess that's why I'm escaping Fundamentalism and enjoying life, I'm discovering a God of delight, or surprises, of joy. A God who is deeply and passionately in love with me and delights in my uncertainty, because another gift of uncertainty is grace.

Sermon over!

The Art Of Cheese

For some reason this commercial was deemed too 'Controversial' to air during the Superbowl.

I think it's hilarious :)

Spring Forward, Fall Over?

I hate the time change, losing the hour is always far more draining than it should be....so here's a solution!

Why doesn't the entire world just adjust the time by 30 minutes, and LEAVE IT THERE?

That way everyone would be happy.

IT'S CALLED COMPROMISE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!

A Moment of Mitch

So, I haven't had time to blog much recently, but I want my loyal readers (all 3 of you) to keep coming back, so here's a clip of one of my favorite comedians.

The Important things about the election (Plus the Results!)

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters


Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

I want my identity back!!!!

I Got a phone call from my bank this morning. Apparently somebody in Connecticut got hold of my debit card number and ran $2200 worth of charges last night - mainly at Best Buy and Walmart.

Grrrrrrr

I'm covered and I'll get all the money back, but it's a hassle to fill in all the forms about fraud etc at the bank and then go without a card for a couple of weeks while everything gets sorted out.

Embracing Obfuscation

As a songwriter who mainly composes for music theater, children's theater and worship services I try to be as clear as possible in my lyrics. If the listener has to wrestle with complex language and ideas then it pulls them away from the story or the worship experience and detaches them emotionally from what is taking place. There is also value in being clear and concise in writing as it helps avoid verbosity.

Occasionally though I like a change.

I am in a Lent Journalling Class where we are writing our own 'bibles'. Before you start screaming heresy I should explain that what we are doing is writing our own stories and experiences in the style of biblical literature. Last week we wrote our own 'Genesis Stories' - our own tales of Beginnings. And this week I have been wrestling with writing my own tales of 'Exodus'.

I was unsure what form to take until after Valentine's Day.

That night I went to see one of my favorite songwriters in concert. Martyn Joseph.

Some of his lyrics are quite obscure (he even confesses to forgetting what one song is about!) but they paint a wonderful picture.

I started to write a song that night, and realized I was writing a song of Exodus.

So here is my lyric (and no I will not explain the obfuscation)



The Beautiful Debris


My Spirit has grown larger than this room
And I no longer can embrace the gloom
I'll let my phony righteousness tumble to the floor
This sanctuary
Can't contain me
Or all God has in store
For the beautiful debris
That is me.

You lower down a picnic at my feet
And three times then command me 'Kill and Eat'
I'll feast upon the things I thought I had to leave behind
And dance within
My former sin
My soul no more confined
In the the beautiful debris
That is me

The rough hewn is more beautiful
Than the perfect and the polished
Ugly authenticity more lovely than the fake
So there are walls of certainty
That need to be demolished
And leave some holy doubt within their wake

6 or 7 trap me in, a thousand set me free
Millions stand on either side beckoning to me
Everybody claims the truth to justify their side
But I will trust
The rocks and dust
That sing from deep inside
The beautiful debris
That is me

quick and yummy soup!

Black Bean and Salsa Soup

3 x 15oz cans black beans.
1 can low sodium chicken broth or vegetable broth
1 cup chunky salsa – preferably hot
1 ½ teaspoon ground cumin
1 Lime
Optional – sour cream, green onions, avocado to garnish

1.Drain and rinse two of the cans of black beans.
2.In a blender/food processor combine the rinsed beans, broth, salsa and cumin. Blend until fairly smooth
3.Put blended mixture in saucepan. Drain and rinse the third can of black beans and add to the pot.
4.Heat over a medium heat until thoroughly heated.
Just before serving squeeze in the juice of the Lime.

Garnish as desired.

Serves 2 and takes about 15 minutes.


I made this last night, very quick and easy. I would reccomend using good spicy salsa as much of the flavor comes from that. Also, I would definitely garnish with something (I used an avocado) as it makes the soup more appealing to the eye and adds some other texture!

The Weirdness of Fixing Easter

(Some curious observations emailed to me)

Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20). This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar.

Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare. This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population (95 years old or above!) have ever seen it this early before. And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!

Here are the facts:
1) The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you're 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).

2) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!

Walk this 'Way'

(Rough thoughts for my meditation in the Contemplative Service this Sunday)

In Acts 22:4 - 11 (Saul's Conversion) we have a two references to 'The Way'. Saul was on a literal journey - on the way to Damascus, and the followers of Jesus are on a metaphorical Journey - Saul refers to the people he persecutes as believers who follow 'This Way'.

When I'm planning a trip to somewhere new, the best person to seek for advice is someone who has been that way before me. They have the authority of experience, they can speak out of their own enounter with the Way. If I haven't walked a particular path before, then I can theorize but I cannot speak with certainty.

Trouble is, we often do - esp when we are talking about the Christian way.

It is very easy for us to judge in 5 minutes or less a path that somebody else has been walking and wrestling with for years. We pull a bible verse out of context, without thought or study and hold it up as a Rule that it was never meant to be.

We need to learn to honor the work of God in each other's lives, even when it seems that they are taking a road that we would never have predicted and we're not sure if we even approve.

The difficulty is, journeying is challenging and so we create our own formulas, our own rules that help us navigate uncharted territory. 'Well there is always a La Quinta next to Dennys.' 'There is always a Domino's Pizza near Blockbuster'. 'Ross dress for less is always next to Pier 1 and Old Navy'.

The problem comes when the formulas no longer work.

"If you obey God you will have showers of blessings."

"If you believe and don't doubt you will be healed."

"If God seems distant it is because of unconfessed sin in your life."

We cannot make our own individual experiences into universal truths. Just because I encounter God through walking a Labyrinth or through Taize worship does not mean that everyone will.
As we journey our view of the horizon changes, our perspective alters. formulas we once held up as Truisms will evolve.

Saul's journey led him to the Damascus road, where he had a powerful encounter with God, but he didn't stay on that road trying to recreate that experience. As a worship leader I often have people coming up and requesting certain songs. Now I'm often on the lookout for new material, but sometimes I wonder about the motives behind asking for certain music. I once had someone say to me 'We must sing Shout to the Lord' today, God always speaks to me when I sing that song'.

We mustn't stop short of our journey. Saul didn't make his home in a tent on the road to Damascus, he journeyed on. And so should we. We fear leaving some things behind, and we fear the road ahead, but if we stay put we will never grow into all that God has for us.

The prophet Isaiah said '...this is the way, walk in it'. We cannot walk if we are afraid to pick up our feet and leave the spot we are on.

Prejudice for Beginners

I am a Western White Male, I really haven't experienced any prejudice directed towards me in my life. Last week I had a little taste. I was rejected for something I wanted to do, because of something I have no control over. I was authentic and honest in my inquiries and that honesty was responded to with prejudice.

As I reflected on this over the weekend I realized that these people are not rejecting me because of who I am they are rejecting me because of who they are.

This encourages me to look at my own life and who I am prejudiced against and see what they have to teach me about who I am.

Indiana Jones on a Pipe Organ - Incredible

Remembering Mum

I ring in a Hand Bell Ensemble at church, and, as part of worship this morning we rang a new piece called 'Fantasy on Kings Weston'. The bell ensemble bought this piece in memory of my mum who passed away in June. It was a great honor to ring this peice at all 3 services this morning.

Our fantastic Communications Department managed to record it for me so here is the start of the service and the Fantasy on Kings Weston.

(The bell piece starts 3:16 into the clip - be patient with it is as the clip takes a while to load!)

Some Pics from my New York Trip

Pachabel's Canon!

A friend sent me this and it's brilliant. I have had to play Pachabel's Canon so many times, both on the Violin and the Piano that I can do it totally from memory whilst asleep. I could write out full orchestral parts for it from memory - in fact I even wrote a parody of Pachabel's Canon as part of my degree.

So enjoy!!

Thought for Ash Wednesday

"Everyone must have two pockets, so that he can reach into the one or the other, according to his needs. In his right pocket are to be the words: 'For my sake was the world created,' and in his left: 'I am earth and ashes.'"--Rabbi Bunum of Pzhysha

True humility is to live with your hands in both pockets!

40 Journalling Questions for Lent

I published these on my blog last year, but it seems right to post them again. Last year we offered them to all our church congregations as a way of entering into Lent as a season of Reflection and Penitence. Many couples in the Church shared their answers together.

40 Questions for Lent

“Lent is the shadow the Cross makes on the world in the light of the Resurrection”. Traditionally Lent is a time for reflection and commitment. These questions are designed to be used as springboards for your personal journaling. Attempt to write an answer to one question a day and also try to write a prayer a day as a response to your own journaling (you get Sundays off). If you feel a question does not apply to you or you are unwilling or unable to answer it, journal about why this is so.

Wed Feb 6th 1. How would you describe your current relationship with God?
Thurs 2. What activities help you connect with God?
Fri 3. Where are you encountering joy in your life at the moment?
Sat 4. What gives you delight and how is God in that experience?

Mon Feb 11th 5. Describe a time you felt especially close to God.
Tues. 6. Describe a time you felt especially far from God.
Wed. 7. How does God delight in you?
Thurs. 8. What does God say when He looks at you?
Fri. 9. What emotions arise when you think about God? Why?
Sat 10. What has shaped your image of God?

Mon Feb 18th 11. What strengths do you have?
Tues 12. How are you unique?
Wed. 13. What are you afraid of?
Thurs. 14. What do you dislike about yourself?
Fri. 15. What do you like about yourself?
Sat. 16. Write about one aspect of yourself you would like to change.

Mon Feb 25th 17. What was one great thing about growing up in your family?
Tues. 18. What was one frustrating thing about growing up in your family?
Wed 19. How are you like your parents?
Thurs. 20. How are you different from your parents?
Fri. 21. How have your parents influenced your perception of God?
Sat. 22. What are your favorite memories of your childhood?

Mon March 3rd 23. What are you angry with God about at the moment?
Tues. 24. How do you feel God has let you down?
Wed. 25. Where do you need to experience God at the moment?
Thurs. 26. What kind of person feels ‘unsafe’ to you?
Fri. 27. How do you react when you feel threatened?
Sat. 28. How does God feel ‘unsafe’ to you?

Mon March 10th 29. What is your favorite bible verse and why?
Tues. 30. Are there any parts of the bible you wish weren’t there? Why?
Wed. 31. What is your favorite bible story and why?
Thurs. 32. What lies do you tell yourself?
Fri. 33. What do you want people to say about you when you die?
Sat. 34. What has been your biggest struggle and how have you encountered God through it?

Mon March 17th 35. What image comes to mind when you think of God?
Tues. 36. How has God used you recently?
Wed. 37. How has God shown His love for you during this season?
Thurs. 38. What is God trying to say to you at the moment?
Fri. 39. Which question was the hardest to answer honestly?
Sat. 40. How have you changed/grown through answering these questions?

It's Nice to be Appreciated

Last month I gave a presentation to a Women's Group all about Hand Bells. I talked about how hand bell ringing came about and how it moved into the church. We did some history and we did some fun practical ringing exercises. I blogged about part of it here.

Well this morning I recieved this email -

Dear Peter,

The program you gave for our UMW Lydia Circle was a delight!! I have heard several that were present say that it was one of the best programs ever. And to think 12 of us ended up with the ringing of Holy, Holy, Holy. I think we surprised ourselves (maybe you too a little).

We thank you for taking the time to prepare for us and entertain us with your special talents. And if you are in the vicinity of the Bell Room II on the 3rd Tues. of each month, please feel free to drop in and have a light supper with us.

Many thanks and God Bless you and your special ministry.


It's always nice to be appreciated. It encourages me to write more notes to people who've done things in my life that have touched me.

Anniversary

Today is the second anniversary of my dad's death. On the first anniversary I wrote a blog entry that you can read here. The conversation recorded in that post has carried me through a lot.

I was reflecting on my drive in to work this morning that it was walking through Dad's death with the knowledge of that affirmation, that gave me the strength to walk through Mum's diagnosis, illness and death. That affirmation has given me the strength to speak up at work where previously I would have remained silent. That affirmation has given me the strength to begin to walk forward into a new fullness of life unlike which I have never encountered before.

Never underestimate the power of one conversation.

Thanks dad.

The 'Joy' of Goal Setting

In our big staff meetings they are goal setting for the church. So in a spirit of camaraderie I and my fellow compadre in silliness Lori sat down and wrote some goals for our Contemplative Service (names have been changed to protect the guilty!!!)

1. We’d like to add 2.5 verses to “Take O Take Me as I Am.”

2. We’d like to see ____________(insert name here) mentioned 17% more in services.

3. We’d like to sing “Here in Your Presence” an extra 22 times per month (excluding staff worship).

4. Increase the size of the candle banks by 145%.

5. Increase consumption of communion by 65 wafers on the piano side and 23 liters of juice on the organ side.

6. Decrease number of “Alleluias” per capita per annum. Volume of “Alleluia” dependant on income.

7. Decrease door squeaking by 22% and late arrivals of _____________(name deleted) by 98%.

8. Decrease disruption by (name deleted) children by 35%.

9. Increase number of Muppet show references by adding one show from one season each month. (Rainbow Connection not eligible)*

10. Make the service quadra-lingual by the end of 2008: English (American), Latin, Spanish and Estonian (angelic tongues ineligible)

*There was actually a Contemplative Service where in a fit of insanity I started playing the song 'You, I and George' from the Muppet show. A friend's wife was suppressing her laughter so much that the person next to her put their arm round her to comfort her in her tears :)

Boys Choir Fun

My choir sang in church yesterday morning and did an excellent job. So instead of rehearsing last night we raided the girls choir with Marshmallow Guns and then challenged them to a game of Kick Ball!!! Fun Times!



I also discovered how much girls like to scream!
(Just click 'Play')

Feel the Bumps!

It seems strange to me, but they actually publish editions of Playboy in Braille!

I sold a piece of music this weekend!

Somebody bought a copy of 'Let the Sun Shine Down' from my music website. That's the first piece I've sold this year. That gives me an extra $2.97 to my retirement fund :)

Someone who loves Bacon almost as much as I

How to pick up someone at a party

Ikea Furniture, Legos and Christianity.

I'm speaking in the Contemplative Service this Sunday and I'm struggling to get my thoughts together. The central theme is an illustration that I read in the book 'Post Evangelical' by Dave Tomlinson that resonated with me and I will attempt to put into my own words here.

The Christianity I embraced in my teenage years was one that is very similar to 'Flat Pack Furniture' that you can purchase at Ikea and many other stores. You receive a set of parts (hopefully complete) and a list of instructions. There is a distinct right and wrong way to put the pieces together. It doesn't matter who is building the furniture, or where it is going, everyone builds the same and you can easily judge how successful the person has been by the appearance and sturdiness of the construction and whether they have any extraneous pieces left over.

But what if Christianity is more like a bag of Legos? Everyone receives the same blocks, but each person is free to build them into a model that is their own unique creative expression of their relationship with Jesus.

I wonder what are the blocks that would have to be included for a person to be called 'Christian'?

In my 20s I often used phrases like '....ask Jesus to be your own personal savior...' a phrase that interestingly enough exists nowhere in the bible! For much of my life I judged a person's faith by whether they agreed with a set of Propositional Truths that I carried around in my head. I cared more about right doctrine than right living, more about what you said you believed than how you lived.

It was all about how well you built the flat pack furniture.

I'm at a turning point in my life. I am planning on tearing down the flat pack and rebuilding my Legos in a way that to some people would seem as if I have become 'Luke Warm' or 'Back Slidden', or even 'Straying from the Fold'.

This isn't a spur of the moment decision however. I've changed considerably over the past 6 years and every change has been agonizingly prayed over. So please don't judge in 2 minutes what has taken me years - I'm worth more than that.

Wow, I seem to have strayed from what I was going to originally type!

I will share the illustration of the Furniture and the Legos in the service, but I will not share how it intersects with my life. My silence is not out of fear, but out of a desire for everyone to find themselves in the illustration without me imposing my interpretation on them.

I am under construction - watch this space for more building information :)

Everything you didn't want to know about Handbell history.....

I'm teaching a United Methodist Women's Group tonight. They wanted to know a little about the history of Hand bell Ringing and get some hands on experience. I'm gonna type out my notes in my blog so I can get them fresh in my mind :)

The most familiar image of bells in churches are in Old Church towers. All across The British Isles and Europe you can find churches with bell towers containing many bells. The art of ringing Bells in towers is called Change Ringing and involves the playing of complex sequences of bells. With a 6 bell tower there are 720 different combinations of ring patterns (6!=6x5x4x3x2x1).

In the Middle Ages ringers became obsessed with finding algorithms to ring all the possible combinations of 7 bells (5040 patterns). In Change Ringing a full peal is reached when 5040 changes have been rung. This normally takes approximately 3 hours to do and is a feat involving intense concentration on the part of the ringers. Many bell towers have a Peal Board documenting whenever a Full Peal is rung on bells. The first documented Peal was rung on 2nd May 1715 at St. Peter Mancroft Church that just happens to be in my home town of Norwich, England.

If you have 8 bells in a tower the number of different combinations increases to 8!=40,320. As far as I can tell this complete set of changes has only been rung once. It was achieved in Loughborough in 1963 and it took 18 hours of continuous playing.

Needless to say the people who live next too church towers with bells were very glad when they found another way to practice!

Bell towers are notoriously cold and drafty places with difficult access and so to make rehearsal easier the ringers would use hand bells and ring them in the back room of the local pub. To ring a tower bell takes 2 hands, but to ring a hand bell only takes one, leaving the other one free for holding a pint!

Soon people began to realize another advantage with hand bells. One person can ring 2 bells at the same time meaning less people are required. People began to experiment ringing other melodies with the bells - mainly only a single pitch at a time because of the poor quality of the sound of the bells. Needless to say the Purists were shocked that folk melodies would be rung instead of the mathematical algorithms! Tower Bells became to be considered Holy and Hand bells Secular.

There is not a lot of music that you can ring with only 8 bells, so slowly sharps and flats were added and the range of the bells extended. Chapelwood has 2 complete 5 octave sets of bells which is 61 bells in each set.

Soon every village in the U.K. had a group of ringers who would gather together and ring for fun - often in the local pub and it was through an American encountering one of these groups that hand bells came to the U.S.

P.T. Barnum(!) was in Lancashire with his circus and heard a group of 5 hand bell ringers playing music and in 1845 brought them to the U.S. To add an air of mystery he dressed them in Swiss costume and sent them out on the Vaudeville circuit where they were very popular.

The first American hand bell choir was the Beacon Hill ringers. The tower bells in Boston's old North Church needed repair and 2 church members travelled to London to the Whitechapel foundry in 1923 to oversee the repairs. One of them, Margaret Shurcliff became the first American to help ring a Peal of bells (5040 changes) in an English Church tower. To mark the occasion the Foundry presented her with a set of hand bells to take back to the U.S.

The Beacon Hill ringers were founded in 1937 and slowly Hand bells spread across New England and then into other parts of the U.S. and back into the Church.

I spilled the Rogaine!

Last night was Silly Hair Night at Boy's Choir!

I've added a New Widget

If you scroll down on the r.h.s. I've added a widget that shows what books I'm currently reading (assuming I remember to update it of course!)

So what with what books I'm reading, what games I have and what movies I'm watching it would be almost possible for someone else to live my life :)

A New Phone that outdoes the iphone!

Swimming in Poop!

No this is not a reference to my latest illness or some bizarre medical practice, but one of my latest boardgames!!!

I finally got to play my copy of Primordial Soup last night. This is a classic board game that I finally own :) Everyone plays a number of Amoebas that are drifting in the currents of the Primordial Soup trying to evolve. Every round you have to drift, eat and poop. You always have to eat three cubes of any color except your own, and you always poop out 2 cubes of your own color. This means after a while if you are not careful you end up drifting in a sea of your own poop starving to death :)

You can evolve with new genes that change how you move, eat, fight and even allow you to eat other people!

It's a lot of fun and I'm glad I got to give it a play - thanks Bill and Greg for indulging me!

Quotes, Questions and a Phone Call.

First, some quotes that are resonating with me at the moment:

'The glory of God is a human being fully alive" - Irenaeus

"A person is most fully alive when they are truthful" - Unknown

"Those who speak know nothing:
Those who know are silent."
Those words, I am told,
Were spoken by Lao-tzu.
If we are to believe that Lao-tzu,
Was himself one who knew,
How comes it that he wrote a book
Of five thousand words?" - Po Chu-I


1) Where am I fully alive?
2) Where am I not being truthful?
3) Where am I speaking where I should be silent?



The following movie clip is supposedly a genuine phone call - I cannot vouch for it's authenticity, but I know that I once received a very similar communication about a person in a worship team I was leading!

My Friend's Daughter being Adorable!

U.S. Politics made simple!

I shamelessly stole this of my friend's blog.

Not sure about which candidate to support? Not sure about which party to vote for?

Just click on this link to the electoral compass and answer 30 questions and you'll find out which candidate is closest to your own views.

It's quick, it's fun and I was pleasantly surprised. Apparantly my gut and my intellect actually agree for once :)

Home Made Nativity Set

This is my Nephew's home made lego Nativity Set.

I love Joseph's power tools, and baby Jesus' shades and goattee!

Christmas 2007 - Pics

Here are some Christmas Pics.

I followed Cooks Illustrated advice and roasted the turkey upside down for the first hour - it was incredible, probably the most moist bird I've ever tasted!



We served the Christmas Pudding Flambe! Just click to watch it flame!!!

Vegetables and Labor Pains

I thought you might appreciate a pic of my Nativity set. Sorry the pic is a bit washed out. As you can see Jesus is a french pea, Mary is a Carrot, Joseph is Asparagus, I have a Cucumber Wise Man and a Tomato Shepherd!

Working for a Church at this time of year means you get to think a lot about the Nativity Story. There's something that I've noticed in our various retellings of it. Every Nativity Service I've ever seen jump from a travel weary Joseph and a heavily pregnant Mary being shown the stable, to a wonderfully cute image of Mary and Joseph staring lovingly down at the heavily swaddled baby Jesus.

There is a scene missing.

Very rarely do we ever see Mary giving birth. We may see a few labor pangs if the actress playing Mary is up to it, but Church productions of the Nativity Story never have a birth scene.

There again neither does the Gospels. Matthew just has the phrase '...she gave birth to a son'. Luke - has a little bit of 'in utero' movement when Mary meets Elizabeth. But once again the only phrase about the birth is '...she gave birth to her firstborn, a son'. (Interesting thought: Why did Luke think it important to tell us that she had a son - we already know that from Mary's encounter with Gabriel - surely there wasn't any doubt in the matter!)

Mark and John say absolutely nothing.

So, what did happen? Do we imagine a midwife present or did Joseph deliver the baby? I can't imagine he was much help, he was only a teenager himself and I'm sure he wasn't up-to-date on Lamaze or The Bradley Method. Would he have known about the Placenta? Would he have known how to cut and tie the umbilical cord? When I stop and think, I realize it must have been a terrifying scene. No Doctors, no Epidural, and a real possibility that Jesus could not be born at all if their were any complications.

I think we skip over the scene because we are desperate for the Christmas Card image - I don't think I've ever scene a card with blood stained straw, a very exhausted sweaty Mary and a Placenta thrown off in one corner. The very suggestion of it is shocking - believe me, I almost edited out that sentence numerous times, esp after seeing a picture of a Placenta on Wikipedia.

Christmas is messy.

We tell the Christmas story and try to generate warm fuzzies about peace on earth and goodwill to all people. We tell ourselves '...tis the season to be jolly', but for many of us it isn't. Christmas never lives up to it's portrayal, it has grown larger than life. The Mythic has consumed The Real.
We use the fantasy of Christmas to block out the realities of life. Hunger, Starvation, Injustice, Poverty, Oppression.

Fortunately Reality has a way of breaking through.

God born into abject poverty in a third world town. God could not 'sink any lower' if He wanted too. The ugly reality and misery is a telling of hope. Hope that is born in the dangerous pain of Childbirth. Hope that is born in abandonment, in homelessness, in poverty. Hope born to an Oppressed People reeling under the weight of Injustice.

This is a tough Christmas for me. I put on the sweater that mum knitted me today and had a little cry before I left for the office. But no matter how loudly the pains of the world scream, there is a tiny silent night, that swallows up the worlds misery and transforms it to Peace.

Longfellow's Carol

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And mild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound the carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn, the households born
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

Till ringing, singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

In a few hours the Chancel Choir wil be singing a choir anthem of mine with a full String Orchestra accompanying them. It's been a lot of work as I haven't orchestrated anything since 1994. And it's also an honor to have piece of mine in the Christmas Eve service. It is a new setting of the text of 'O Little Town of Bethlehem' which you can listen too here. I've always loved the last verse of this carol:

O holy Child of Bethlehem!

Descend to us, we pray;

Cast out our sin and enter in,

Be born in us to-day.

We hear the Christmas angels

The great glad tidings tell;

O come to us, abide with us,

Our Lord Emmanuel!

The presence of God being born in us is messy, it's as messy as any other birth, full of unexpected complications, difficulties and labor pains. That's what makes it real. The pain of the world may scream, but the angels are still singing.

Merry Christmas.

Flashback to 1957

Every year the Queen gives a Christmas Day message to the people. In 1957 it was broadcast on T.V. as well as radio for the first time.....you can watch it here

Somehow her message is still relevant.

Yet Another christmas Song From my Youth.

For previous entries either scroll down or click here

Another classic Christmas Song from my Youth

For the previous entry click here

A Classic Christmas Song from my Youth

Inspiring!

Do try and make it through to the end - it's so moving!

Remembering the dead....with a mop.

Today would have been my mum's 83rd birthday had she not passed away this summer. This coming Wednesday will mark the 6 month anniversary of her death. All this combined with Christmas and the ongoing grieving of my dad's death means I have a lot of emotions flopping around.

I wanted to do something to honor mum's birthday today, so I took up my mop.

I hate cleaning, I hate cleaning with a searing white hot passion. I can push the vacuum cleaner around, and I will happily clean up the kitchen so I can bake, but there is something about the combination of buckets of water, bleach and a mop that sends shudders through my spine.

So today, I 'swiffered' my floors, then I mopped them and finally I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed each tile.

And with each wipe I remembered Mum.

I didn't remember her because she loved cleaning. I don't think there are many people in this world who would list 'Cleaning' as a hobby. I did it because of a lesson Mum taught me through the way she lived.

The energy used complaining about and avoiding a task is usually far more than the energy expended completing the task.

As a child I could quite happily waste hours complaining about being asked to tidy my room. I would rail about the injustice about how if it was my space I should be able to keep it just how I liked. Invariably the actual task of tidying would take far less time to do than I anticipated. It frequently surprises me how quickly I tidy up when I finally set my mind to it.

Mum didn't like to clean - but she kept a clean house.
Mum didn't like to cook - but she did, nearly every day.

Mum did what she had to do without visible moaning or complaint. She did the tasks quickly and efficiently so she could get back to her love - her garden.

And so, today, I stopped complaining and picked up my bleach. I stopped avoiding and started scrubbing. Now on my Mother's 'Scale of Clean' I'm sure the Bathroom Floor only moved from 'Unfit for Human Habitation' to 'In Need of A Really Good Scrub'. I can live with that. It's the Attitude behind the Action that is important here.

Saint Thérèse of Lisieux said "Love proves itself by deeds, so how am I to show my love? Great deeds are forbidden me. The only way I can prove my love is by scattering flowers and these flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least actions for love."

So to honor Mum's memory I mopped the floor- and by doing so I scattered some flowers in the garden she loved.

Some incredibly well arranged music - and very funny too (esp. If you like Toto!)

Strange Happenings in the Workplace.

1. "Employee eats 32 vending machine items for charity"
A juvenile probation officer ate one of every item in a county courthouse vending machine in one day. She consumed more than 7,000 calories and more than 300 grams of fat, eating such items as beef sticks, candy bars, Pop Tarts and potato chips -- all to win a bet with co-workers and raise $300 for charity.

2. "Cola wars get physical as Pepsi worker attacks Coke employee"
Two employees from the rival companies got into a tiff over shelf space in the aisle of a Wal-Mart in Indiana. The Pepsi worker allegedly assaulted the Coca-Cola employee, hitting him in the face, giving him a black eye and breaking his nose. Police say the two were also accused of trying to run each other over with pallets full of soda bottles.

3. "Alleged robber asks victim out for date"
After two men robbed a Domino's Pizza delivery woman, one of them called the victim from his cell phone to apologize -- and to ask her out.

4. "Four women fired for gossiping"
Four women employed in a small New Hampshire town were fired for gossiping about a relationship between the town administrator and a fellow co-worker. They were fired on the basis that "gossip, whispering and an unfriendly environment are causing poor morale and interfering with the efficient performance of town business."

5. "Eau de Lawsuit: Woman sues over scent"
An employee in the Detroit planning department sued the city, saying a female co-worker's strong fragrance prohibited her from working. The woman claimed she is severely sensitive to perfumes and her co-worker not only wore a strong scent, but also plugged in a scented room deodorizer.

6. "Salt lands McDonald's employee in jail"
A McDonald's employee was arrested, jailed and is facing criminal charges because a police officer got sick after a hamburger he ate was too salty. The employee accidentally spilled salt on some hamburger meat and told her supervisor and co-worker, who "tried to thump the salt off." The employee was charged because she served the burger "without regards to the well-being of anyone who might consume it."

7. "Carpenter free to ply trade in the nude"
A carpenter caught hammering nails and sawing wood in the nude says he prefers working in the buff because it's more comfortable and helps keep his clothes clean. The carpenter was found not guilty of indecent exposure.

8. "Southwest Airlines employee tells passenger her outfit won't fly"
A Southwest employee asked a young woman in a short skirt to leave the airplane, saying she was dressed too provocatively for the family airline. The young woman was eventually allowed to complete her trip after covering up. On her return flight, she came home with no problem -- in the same outfit.

9. "Employee accused of faking being cop"
A Taco Bell employee was arrested for impersonating a law enforcement officer and attempting to arrest his managers and co-worker. He passed himself off as an undercover narcotics investigator, going as far as typing fake criminal histories on the general manager, two shift managers and an employee and telling them they were going to be arrested.

10. "Employee took 1 million screws home from factory"
An assembly worker hid screws in a specially designed hiding place and took up to 7,000 home with him every day. Over a two-year period, he stole more than 1.1 million screws with an estimated value of $155,000. He allegedly sold the screws over the Internet at discount prices.

11. "Deputy nabbed twice for DUI -- by husband"
An off-duty jail deputy was pulled over and charged with driving under the influence -- by her husband, a fellow deputy. She supposedly left before he could give her a Breathalyzer test, so he pulled her over again and called for backup. She was placed on administrative leave.

12. "Workers killed after seeking raises"
A car dealership owner killed two employees because they kept asking for more pay. The employer told police he was having financial problems and was under a lot of stress.

13. "Man demands coupons from radio station employee"
A radio station employee was threatened at gunpoint when an angry patron was unhappy with the promotional bumper stickers he received. The patron demanded McDonald's coupons instead; when the employee didn't have any, the man flashed what looked like a handgun. She searched her car and found a coupon for a free cheeseburger. The man took it, made a derogatory comment about the radio station and rode away on his bike.

14. "Wienermobile gets cop roasted"
When a 27-foot-long, 11-foot-tall vehicle -- known to most as the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile -- was slowing traffic in a construction zone in Arizona, an officer ran its "YUMMY" license plate to make sure it was street legal. A bad computer entry erroneously showed the Wienermobile as having stolen plates, forcing the officer to pull it over. After further investigation, the officer learned that the entry should have read that license plate had been stolen -- but only if found on any vehicle that isn't a giant hot dog.

15. "Drive-through dispute gets suspect jail food"
Workers at a Burger King in New York got into a dispute with a customer after he refused to turn his music down while ordering at the drive-through. The customer grabbed the restaurant's manager, tried to pull her through a window and then attempted to run over a worker who came to help the manager.

Stones in the Road

(This is a rough adaptation of my meditation from the contemplative service this morning.)

I've done a lot of travelling over the years, and I've got my fair share of horror stories. Delayed flights, lost luggage, missed connections, major reroutes (landing in London when I was supposed to be in Amsterdam!) and my personal favorite - exploding shampoo!!!!

These trips are frustrating at the time but now I look back on them with a certain level of nostalgia. "Remember when the car overheated and we got stranded over night in Roswell?"

I wonder if Mary and Joseph looked back on the trip to Bethlehem that way? "Remember when we had to make that trip to Bethlehem for the census when you were heavily pregnant and we had that stubborn lame donkey and when we got there the Motel Six had lost our reservations and we had to sleep in the stable?!"

Some journeys go fine, others we limp along. Sometimes we got a stone in our shoe - a minor irritation and others we get rocks so big that we can't see where we are heading anymore. Sometimes we things get difficult we lose sight of Bethlehem.

I can think of times in my past where there were problems that seemed insurmountable but with God's help I made it through. Boulders that looked impossible to move and totally overwhelming were eventually surpassed.

In the Hebrew scriptures people of faith often piled rocks together to make Altars at significant places where they wanted to remember God's faithfulness. When we look back at the 'rocks' in our life that with God's help we have survived I think those very Obstacles become Altars. Altars of God's Faithfulness, God's Mercy and God's Grace.

So as we journey to Bethlehem this Advent take a look at the stones in your path. Maybe you are just limping along or maybe the rock is so large that Bethlehem is nothing but a distant fantasy. Offer those 'stones' in prayer to God - and ask Him to transform those Obstacles into Altars.

Vodka and Redbull Cake

A few days ago I posted a spoof recipe for Vodka and Redbull Christmas Cake which is worth a read if you fancy a chuckle. Well I was at a Christmas Party last night and one of my blog readers presented me with this:

Looking at the fine icing job, they obviously followed the recipe exactly!!!

The Christmas Chainsaw Massacre

Monday night I sang in a sing-a-long Messiah

This pic is one that I took of an original score of Handel's Messiah - he has messy penmanship. It's the end of the Hallelujah Chorus.

After the sing-a-long a friend came up to me and said that it doesn't feel like Christmas to him until he's sung the Messiah. I nodded politely but I was aware that I don't feel that way. I have sung the Messiah at other times of the year so it doesn't have that connection for me.

So I tried to think about what does make it feel like Christmas.

The following morning when I stepped outside my apartment I knew.

I could see my breath and there was frost on the roof of the nearby buildings. Cold and frost bring Christmas closer to me, as does 'The Christmas Chainsaw Massacre'.

You see my mum had some very distinctive Christmas Cake Decorations that she would put on the fruit cake every year. One was just the head of Father Christmas and the other was the head of a snowman. Both of them had big spikes that held them in the fruit cake. She also had a miniature evergreen that she would place on the cake as well.

The problem was one of size and perspective. The heads were almost as tall as the tree, so either Santa and Frosty had enormous deformed craniums or we had a bonsai Christmas tree.

The cake looked like someone had gone on a chainsaw massacre - and I miss it. The decorations were kitsch and I miss them.

Last year I didn't think too much about Dad being dead because all my focus was on mum being just out of hospital and making sure she had a good last Christmas - even though none of us acknowledged that is what we were doing.

So this year it feels like I am grieving both parents.

It sucks.

That final Christmas with Mum my present from her was a sweater that she handed knitted for me. It is a copy of one she knitted for me as a child - similar color and same pattern.

I don't wear it often in Houston as a) It's a bit tight and b) It doesn't often get cold enough.

But when I do, it's like getting a hug from Mum - I may be in my 40s, but I think all of us need a hug from Mum at times.

An Early Review of Sweeney Todd - Needless to say I am excited!

A friend found this on the internet and sent it too me - I can't wait till the movie comes out!

The screening of Sweeney Todd was hosted by Stephen Sondheim. Tim Burton and Johnny Depp were also in attendance. This being a New York theatre crowd, they applauded and stood for Sondheim, but remained seated for Burton and Depp.
Sondheim gave a little welcoming speech and a small warning. What we were about to see, he told us, was not the stage musical we all knew by heart, but a movie. If we were to enjoy it, we needed to put the stage show out of our minds. I'm not sure that was entirely possible. In that room, anyway, which was packed with theatre community types. Burton and Depp didn't really say anything. They just waved. Later Burton hugged Sondheim and shouted out to us, "If you hate it, it's our (his and Depp's) fault!"
Sondheim was right, It's not a film of the stage musical. It is an entirely new beast. And for this, I am thankful. Unlike the movies of RENT, DREAMGIRLS, THE PRODUCERS, PHANTOM, HAIRSPRAY and even CHICAGO, this is as much a director's film (and triumph) as it is a version of a beloved stage musical. It's a hushed, beautiful film for the most part. But when it roars, it's deafening. And chill-inducing.
None of this is to suggest that it isn't true to its source. The "Ballads" are all gone, as is "Kiss Me." A few inner snips aside, that's about it. But Burton here has gone beyond a filmed stage musical. He's created a movie operetta of sorts. If you didn't know the piece, you might almost believe it had been written for the cinema.
Depp is exquisite. Bonham-Carter will split the theatre crowd. Her acting is deliciously low-key, but her unsupported singing voice doesn't really match her speaking voice. That said, in the end, hers might be the most haunting performance in this movie. Rickman, Spall, Cohen, and everyone else are superb. The design is breathtaking. The cinematography is sumptuous.
And the music! You think you liked the music before? Wait. Bravo, Mr. Tunick.
I've been a Tim Burton fan since Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. But he's hurled himself to a new level with this one. And in the process, he's shown the way in making movie musicals. By grafting his distinctive visual style and storytelling technique to a bolt-solid musical, he has transformed both the art and the artist. This is a new Sweeney Todd. His best movie since Ed Wood, and the best movie musical since Little Shop Of Horrors.
So go. See it. Leave behind your preconceptions, if that's possible. Enjoy it for the wonderful film it is. I'll be there opening day to see it again.

Vodka And Red Bull Christmas Cake

It's nearly that time of the year… and now is the time to start baking that Christmas cake. So to help you, here is a recipe for:

VODKA AND RED BULL CHRISTMAS CAKE

INGREDIENTS
1 cup water
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
Lemon Juice
4 large eggs
Nuts (any kind)
1 bottle of Vodka
1 can of Red Bull
2 cups dried fruit

METHOD
1. Sample the vodka to check the quality (VERY IMPORTANT)
2. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again
3. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of vodka and mix with a little red bull and drink
4. Repeat
5. Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl
6. Add one teaspoon of sugar - beat again
7. At this point it is best to make sure the vodka is still ok
8. Flavour with Red Bull to taste
9. Try another cup. Just in case, turn the mixerers off
10. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit
11. Pick the fruit off the floor
12. Mix on the turner
13. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry loose with a drewscriver
14. Shample the vodka to check for tonsisticitiy, flavour with a little Bed Rull
15. Next, ssifffft two cups of salt. Or something… Who giveshz a shizt
16. Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder
17. Pick up the can, mop the floor
18. Check the vodka (shee steps 3 & 4)
19. Now shift the lemon and strain your nuts
20. Add one table
21. Add a shpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find
22. Turn the cake tine 360 degrees and try not to fall over
23. Dont forget to beat off the turner
24. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and lick the dog
25. Fall into bed

CHERRY MISTMAS

Crazy Cooking Day!

I received a phone call from my friend Glen this morning who was too impatient to wait for the blog update of how the 'Dishwasher Lasagna' turned out as he was going to make it today. So once again here I go cooking where very few have cooked before.

I made up the Lasagna according to the instructions and it looked yummy!

I carefully triple wrapped it in foil and placed it in my dishwasher - and discovered a problem.

There was no way to fit the packet between the tines of the bottom rack. Careful examination of the pictures with the recipe printout led me to believe I could just rest the packet on the tines. Oh if only I had Internet at my apartment to do a more careful check! I proceeded anyway and when I opened the dishwasher to check how cooking was going, this was the sight that met my eyes.

The power of the jets had caused the packet to move against the tines and the tips had drilled a hole through the foil packet leaving me with a very clean soggy lasagna and this in my dishwasher!

That is a very tasty mix of freshly chopped Spinach and Ricotta Cheese clogging my dishwasher drainage area!!!

Undeterred I devised a plan - after all I was hungry and this was my scheduled lunch for the day! I drained the lasagna packet of excess fluid, put it in a Pyrex dish, added some fresh cheese and put it in the oven for 15 mins at 350C

Voila! Lunch was saved!

Careful examination of the Wiki how instructions show that the dishwasher used had collapsible tines so that the packet would fit on the bottom rack horizontally.



So my efforts in dishwasher cooking were foiled by my old fashioned dishwasher.
I've added a tip to the wiki how site suggesting that if your tines don't fold down like mine that you lay the packet in a dishwasher safe dish to prevent my disaster. Hopefully my friend Glen will do just that and let me know how it goes.

In other cooking news I made the Christmas Pudding. See this post for details and history of this most decadent dessert.

I carefully soaked all the fruits overnight in brandy - this is one boozy dessert.

Added all the other ingredients - eggs, flour, grated apple, spices etc.

And carefully wrapped it, and steamed it for 3 1/2 hours!

The aroma in the apartment was awesome! Now it will sit in the bottom of my refrigerator (even though it would survive fine in the pantry) until Christmas Day where it will be steamed for at least another 2 hours and then be consumed with Brandy Butter!!!

It was quite a cooking day - and I also did 6 hours of Defensive Driving, watched 2 movies ('Adaptation' and 'Singing in the Rain') and an episode of 'Lost'!!!