Sunday, December 02, 2007

Vodka And Red Bull Christmas Cake

It's nearly that time of the year… and now is the time to start baking that Christmas cake. So to help you, here is a recipe for:


1 cup water
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
Lemon Juice
4 large eggs
Nuts (any kind)
1 bottle of Vodka
1 can of Red Bull
2 cups dried fruit

1. Sample the vodka to check the quality (VERY IMPORTANT)
2. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again
3. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of vodka and mix with a little red bull and drink
4. Repeat
5. Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl
6. Add one teaspoon of sugar - beat again
7. At this point it is best to make sure the vodka is still ok
8. Flavour with Red Bull to taste
9. Try another cup. Just in case, turn the mixerers off
10. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit
11. Pick the fruit off the floor
12. Mix on the turner
13. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry loose with a drewscriver
14. Shample the vodka to check for tonsisticitiy, flavour with a little Bed Rull
15. Next, ssifffft two cups of salt. Or something… Who giveshz a shizt
16. Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder
17. Pick up the can, mop the floor
18. Check the vodka (shee steps 3 & 4)
19. Now shift the lemon and strain your nuts
20. Add one table
21. Add a shpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find
22. Turn the cake tine 360 degrees and try not to fall over
23. Dont forget to beat off the turner
24. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and lick the dog
25. Fall into bed


1 comment:

Glen said...

This is hilarious! I read through it twice, and I had tears coming out both times.