1. We’d like to add 2.5 verses to “Take O Take Me as I Am.”
2. We’d like to see ____________(insert name here) mentioned 17% more in services.
3. We’d like to sing “Here in Your Presence” an extra 22 times per month (excluding staff worship).
4. Increase the size of the candle banks by 145%.
5. Increase consumption of communion by 65 wafers on the piano side and 23 liters of juice on the organ side.
6. Decrease number of “Alleluias” per capita per annum. Volume of “Alleluia” dependant on income.
7. Decrease door squeaking by 22% and late arrivals of _____________(name deleted) by 98%.
8. Decrease disruption by (name deleted) children by 35%.
9. Increase number of Muppet show references by adding one show from one season each month. (Rainbow Connection not eligible)*
10. Make the service quadra-lingual by the end of 2008: English (American), Latin, Spanish and Estonian (angelic tongues ineligible)
*There was actually a Contemplative Service where in a fit of insanity I started playing the song 'You, I and George' from the Muppet show. A friend's wife was suppressing her laughter so much that the person next to her put their arm round her to comfort her in her tears :)