January Board Games

O.k. so I'm slightly behind the Calendar this month as I should have posted this by now, but better late than never :)

I managed 37 plays of 27 different games in January.

It's a tie for the top spot!

Bucket King and Werewolf with 4 plays each.

I love playing (and facilitating) Werewolf with large groups. It's such a different game to play and it's wonderful to see people get tied into knots as they try and follow someone else's logic or go with their heart. It would be very interesting playing it with a group of people who are used to swaying others with their opinions and oratory!

Bucket King is a simple card game, but has some interesting depth to it as you try and protect your pyramid of buckets from being overturned while at the same time trying to destroy your opponents!

Close behind with three plays was last years winner Dominion

I fully expect this game to be around for quite a while, we're still playing the basic game most of the time and loving it. We do have an expansion on the shelf, and with other expansions available I see this remaining a fixture of game night for some time to come.

Other games that stood out for me this month include:

Wits and Wagers - It's a trivia game where you don't need to know the answers. I led a large version of this game on our Choir retreat with 6 teams of about 10 people. We had a blast and it was a close game. Fun times!

Taj Mahal - I picked up the german edition of this game, from a local thrift score. Somebody had been kind enough to print out the english rules, but everything else inside was still in shrink. It is a seemingly complex game, but once it clicks it is great fun. It had been a long time since I'd played this and I'm very glad it hit the table again.

Code 777 Deduction and logic at its most painful. Everyone has 3 cards infront of them that they cannot see that they are trying to deduce from the other players cards and answers to different questions. I seriously think my brain overheats when I try and play this game, but there is such a rush when you realize you actually worked it out!!!

When we say 'Long Live The Queen'

... we mean it!

Poetry to Reflect Upon

The Vacation
Wendell Berry


Once there was a man who filmed his vacation.
He went flying down the river in his boat
with his video camera to his eye, making
a moving picture of the moving river
upon which his sleek boat moved swiftly
toward the end of his vacation. He showed
his vacation to his camera, which pictured it,
preserving it forever: the river, the trees,
the sky, the light, the bow of his rushing boat
behind which he stood with his camera
preserving his vacation even as he was having it
so that after he had had it he would still
have it. It would be there. With a flick
of a switch there it would be. But he
would not be in it. He would never be in it.


from The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry (Washington D.C.: Counterpoint, 1998), 157.

When Chess and Role Playing Games Collide!

Click on the pic to see it full size.

Jesus Hates Me - Just to clear up some confusion!

Apparently during the Children's sermon this morning at Chapelwood, Jim invoked my name and mentioned a song I'd written called 'Jesus Hates Me'. He then proceeded to tell the children how that isn't true.

Unfortunately there wasn't time in the children's sermon for Jim to explain the full context and history behind the song, so I was given some very strange looks by church members as I walked into the sanctuary after the service.


Back when I lived in Lubbock I was running a contemporary service with my good friend Sean. One Sunday he told me he was preaching on Spiritual Abuse and did I know any songs on the subject I could sing. I couldn't think of one so I sat down at the piano and improvised the following:

Jesus loves me this I know,

For the bible tells me so,

Little ones to Him belong

Except when we do something wrong.

Then Jesus hates me,

Then Jesus hates me,

Then Jesus hates me,

My Pastor told me so!

If I recall correctly we used the song in the service as a comical way to illustrate how spiritual abuse can happen when the word of God is unintentionally or deliberately misinterpreted.

Just for the record - I DON'T BELIEVE JESUS HATES ME OR ANYONE ELSE....

...and in case you wondered, I created the Church sign using this website.

Thank you Mark Bittman!

Who is Mark Bittman? He's a food writer who writes for the NY Times (and other places)

This is a slight adaptation of one of his recipes that has been very popular but for some reason I'm only just getting around to posting.

Roasted Sweet Potato Salad with Black Beans and Chili Dressing.

The recipe is wonderfully easy, and if you throw some chicken breasts in to cook at the same time as the sweet potato, you've got instant meal - though I could just devour the salad by itself without the meat, it's that good!!!!

In this pan is 4 medium sweet potatoes (about 1 1/2 pounds), peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks.
One red onion, sliced.
It's all tossed with about 2 tablespoons of olive oil and sprinkled in salt and pepper. You'll also notice some chicken breasts and some sliced mushrooms (both optional)

Put that pan in the oven and let it roast at 400F for 40 minutes, turning the potatoes and the chicken occ.

In a bowl (photographed under low light) - put 2 red pepper, chopped, 1 can of black beans (drained) and 1 cup of fresh chopped cilantro.


Meanwhile in the bowl of a mini chopper or in a blender put 1 -2 tablespoons of minced Jalapeno (I normally throw in a full chili), 1 clove of garlic, juice of 2 limes and just under 1/2 cup of extra virgin olive oil. Blitz it together.

Here is everything (except the chicken) mixed together with the dressing poured over the top. Words and pictures can't describe how comforting this warm salad is.

And if you serve it with the chicken - it's a complete meal.

Now. Go. Shopping.

Ikea, Lego and Christianity

This is actually a repeat of an old post from January 2007, but as I spent the last 24 hours assembling a new piece of Ikea furniture it came to mind so I thought I would repost it. I've come along way in terms of 'rebuilding my life' over the past 3 years. Life has taken turns I didn't expect when I wrote this post, and I'm so glad that I took the turns that life offered me!


I'm speaking in the Contemplative Service this Sunday and I'm struggling to get my thoughts together. The central theme is an illustration that I read in the book 'Post Evangelical' by Dave Tomlinson that resonated with me and I will attempt to put into my own words here.

The Christianity I embraced in my teenage years was one that is very similar to 'Flat Pack Furniture' that you can purchase at Ikea and many other stores. You receive a set of parts (hopefully complete) and a list of instructions. There is a distinct right and wrong way to put the pieces together. It doesn't matter who is building the furniture, or where it is going, everyone builds the same and you can easily judge how successful the person has been by the appearance and sturdiness of the construction and whether they have any extraneous pieces left over.

But what if Christianity is more like a bag of Legos? Everyone receives the same blocks, but each person is free to build them into a model that is their own unique creative expression of their relationship with Jesus.

I wonder what are the blocks that would have to be included for a person to be called 'Christian'?

In my 20s I often used phrases like '....ask Jesus to be your own personal savior...' a phrase that interestingly enough exists nowhere in the bible! For much of my life I judged a person's faith by whether they agreed with a set of Propositional Truths that I carried around in my head. I cared more about right doctrine than right living, more about what you said you believed than how you lived.

It was all about how well you built the flat pack furniture.

I'm at a turning point in my life. I am planning on tearing down the flat pack and rebuilding my Legos in a way that to some people would seem as if I have become 'Luke Warm' or 'Back Slidden', or even 'Straying from the Fold'.

This isn't a spur of the moment decision however. I've changed considerably over the past 6 years and every change has been agonizingly prayed over. So please don't judge in 2 minutes what has taken me years - I'm worth more than that.

Wow, I seem to have strayed from what I was going to originally type!

I will share the illustration of the Furniture and the Legos in the service, but I will not share how it intersects with my life. My silence is not out of fear, but out of a desire for everyone to find themselves in the illustration without me imposing my interpretation on them.

I am under construction - watch this space for more building information :)

Living between 'Extraordinary' and 'Heartbreaking'

Random thoughts for this Sunday's Contemplative Service.


For part 1 click here


When I stop and consider the question 'What has been holy ground for you this week?' my mind goes back to places where life seemed amplified above the normal. Those strange, unpredictable moments of transcendence where it feels like God peeks through the clouds. An unexpected conversation. a sudden 'aha' moment of understanding. A flash of creative inspiration. All of these are moments when life is elevated from Ordinary to Extraordinary.


When I answer the question 'What do you want prayed for this week?' my mind goes to the low points. Those stories and situations that seem overwhelming. Haiti. My good friend Jo who's 7 month old son is having open heart surgery on Monday. All my friends who are coping with their parent's health issues as they age.


Most of my life is spent in the gap between Extraordinary and Heartbreak. Surfing Facebook. Going to work. Playing Boardgames. Cooking. Watching t.v. etc. When I think of the mundane things of last week, I think of cleaning the stove top (never a fun task), answering emails. Building furniture from Ikea. Doing laundry etc.


If every moment is spent on holy ground and every moment is has the potential to be a God encounter what do I do with the Mundane? The majority of my life is spent in the Mundane, so how do I meet God there, rather than just in the Extraordinary or the Heartbreaking?

[I've sat with that question for the last 48 hours and had this post 'on hold' while I've attempted to formulate an answer]

I didn't encounter God when I was cleaning the stove, but the next morning when I stumbled downstairs to make a cup of tea and I saw how the cooker was clean I felt a little touch of unexpected joy. Building furniture was not my favorite task, but the memories that it brought up of my dad attempting flat pack furniture and cursing the instructions brought a smile to my face.

It's not the particulars of the event that are important, but my awareness in allowing that event to touch me and point me towards those little moments of reflection, joy, longing, and even loss, that have become signs for me of the presence of God.

When you look back over the last week, over the mundane, the ordinary, what memories arise for you? How were those events holy ground?

2009 Board Game Five and Dimes!

I played a lot of games last year - 378 plays of 186 different games to be precise. So here are the games I played the most frequently. Most of the games on this list are lighter games, I do enjoy meatier games but they tend to take longer and consequently do not get so much repetition. I also introduce my gaming passion to lots of new groups and this list contains many games that are easy for people who are new to the hobby to learn and enjoy.

Dominion was played more than any other with a whopping 22 plays. The speed, tactics are variability of this game means it hits the table often. I enjoy it, and with more expansions coming out I don't see this one waning in popularity anytime soon.

Kakerlaken Poker (Cockroach Poker) (11 Plays) It's such a simple premise really. Pass a card to someone else and either lie about it or tell the truth. The opponent gets to either challenge the passer or pick the card up and see it for themselves. The card moves around the table being seen by various people until someone has to challenge it. It plays up to six people, is easy to teach and produces such delicious agony that I see this game staying as one of my 'Go to' games for new people. It is also responsible for one of my favorite gaming memories of 2009. Suffice to say my brother cannot lie and consequently this game was agony for him!

Alhambra (8 Plays) Building your own palace whilst trying to manage different currencies and corner the market on palace features. My brother and his wife loved this game when I introduced it to them years ago, so consequently we played a game every night whilst we were on vacation together. It's a great game, but I would never play it with more than 4 people as it slows down quite considerably.

Dice Town (7 Plays) Is a great game using poker dice. It is a wonderful feeling to watch your opponents face fall because you somehow managed to roll 4 Aces at one time.

Pass the Bomb (7 plays) is another game that can be taught quickly and accomodates a large crowd. A card is turned over that will have a sequence of letters on it (e.g. ent) and you have to name a word that has those letters in that exact order somewhere in the word (e.g. represent). The bomb is passed around as a variable timer and if you are holding it when it explodes then you get the card. The person with the least cards at the end of the game wins. Very simple and again creates agonising moments when the person before you in the circle names the exact word you were going to use and consequently you are stuck holding a ticking bomb wracking your brain trying to come up with an alternative.

Die Aufsteiger ~ The Climbers (6 Plays) I love this game. I went through a lot of trouble to import it from Germany. It looks wonderful and is a very interesting abstract game that involves racing to the top of a tower while stopping your opponents. It's a flashback to childhood because you get to play with blocks, but it's all very tactical :)

Chains of Fenrir (6 plays) is another game that is very easy to teach. Players build up chains of stones on the table and try to eliminate their own stones before their opponents. It plays quickly and is a good quick game (10 minutes) to teach new players.

The Hanging Gardens (6 plays) Another building game, this time constructing the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Tiles with various features are turned up and you get to try and combine them to create the longest areas of adjacent designs in your garden. It's an interesting mechanic as you are allowed to overlap cards, but the placement of the designs on the cards is such that a careful thought is required.

Snow Tails (6 plays) Every player has a dogsled that they are racing to the finish. Trees, snow falls, crevasses and other sleds all block your way and as your sled gets damaged it gets less manouverable. Fun!

Werewolf (6 plays) I love this game. It needs a Moderator and at least 8 people to play it so I don't get to play it often, and when I do I'm usually running it for others to experience. How many games do you get to lie through your teeth and try and sway a group over to your point of view? It's amazing how a skilled orator can manipulate a crowd and cause people to lay aside common sense. This game has become a staple of our church staff retreats...and it's curious how good preachers are at this!!!

Games with 5 plays

Around the World in 80 Days

Carcassonne

Duck! Duck! Go!

For Sale

Travel Blokus

Tsuro

Uno

Take off your shoes

(Random thoughts for this Sunday's Contemplative Service)

Moses was shepherding the flock of Jethro, his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. He led the flock to the west end of the wilderness and came to the mountain of God, Horeb. The angel of God appeared to him in flames of fire blazing out of the middle of a bush. He looked. The bush was blazing away but it didn't burn up. Moses said, "What's going on here? I can't believe this! Amazing! Why doesn't the bush burn up?" God saw that he had stopped to look. God called to him from out of the bush, "Moses! Moses!" He said, "Yes? I'm right here!" God said, "Don't come any closer. Remove your sandals from your feet. You're standing on holy ground."

Exodus 3: 1-5

I love being barefoot, I spend most of my time either with nothing on my feet, or with sandals. I wear shoes about once a week, on Sunday mornings when I come to worship. When I was travelling in Thailand I visited a number of temples that required you to remove your footwear before you could enter - imagine what Church would be like if we had that requirement, lines of shoes out in the hallway by the Registration table.

Imagine you were a visitor to a church and discovered shoe removal was a requirement for worship, would you still attend? I'd be worried about whether my socks had holes in and were they in fact clean this morning or did I just recycle them from last Sunday. Lori said her first thought would be 'How is my toenail polish?'

We wear shoes for protection, but they become a barrier between us and the world in which we live. We encounter the beach very differently when barefoot, we notice subtle changes in the terrain that we would miss if our feet were covered.

Moses is instructed to remove his sandals and is informed that he is standing on Holy Ground. He is told 'Don't come any closer'.The rabbis had two schools of thought about this passage. Some taught that Moses had to keep a distance from the burning bush out of fear, reverenceand sacred dread of the presence of God. But another Rabbinic tradition taught that Moses was instructed to not come closer because he did not need to come closer. He already had the full experience of God's presence, he just needed to remove his shoes and become alive to it.

The act of removing the sandals, laying aside the protective covering opens us up to the insight that God is already here, I am already in the presence of the Holy. I do not own many pairs of shoes, but I am aware of many protective coverings that I clothe myself in for my own safety.

Coverings like:

'If I am vulnerable I could get hurt, better to not risk it.'
'They don't want to hear my struggles.'
'Reject them before they reject me'
'My faith is not like _________ so I must be wrong somehow'
'If it is different to my way of thinking/doing, it must be wrong.'

Some of us have become so attached to our coverings, our 'shoes', that what was originally just for protection has become a defining characteristic.

As long as we wear our 'shoes' there is something dead between the live soles of our feet and the holy ground on which we stand. To take off this deadness means taking off that which familiarity breeds contempt and boredom: it means coming alive to the place where we are. ~ David Steindhal Rast

What shoes do you need to remove?

International Security Levels

Stereotype humor!

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

And in the southern hemisphere...

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Quote of the Day

Truth always rests with the minority, and the minority is always stronger than the majority, because the minority is generally formed by those who really have an opinion, while the strength of a majority is illusory, formed by the gangs who have no opinion – and who, therefore, in the next instant (when it is evident that the minority is the stronger) assume its opinion … while Truth again reverts to a new minority.

~ Soren Kierkegaard

What is in your cask?

Abba Ammonas came one day to eat in a place where there was a monk of evil repute. Now it happened that a woman came and entered the cell of the brother of evil reputation. The dwellers in that place, having learnt this, were troubled and gathered together to chase the brother from his cell. Knowing that Bishop Ammonas was in the place, they asked him to join them. When the brother in question learnt this, he hid the woman in a large cask.

The crowd of monks came to the place. Now Abba Ammonas saw the position clearly but for the sake of God he kept the secret; he entered, seated himself on the cask and commanded the cell to be searched. Then when the monks had searched everywhere without finding the woman, Abba Ammonas said, 'What is this? May God forgive you!' After praying, he made everyone go out, then taking the brother by the hand he said, 'Brother, be on your guard.' With these words, he withdrew.

from 'The Sayings of the Desert Fathers' ~ Benedicta Ward, SLG

I wrestled with this story when I read it this morning. I was right there with the monks wanting to denounce the 'evil monk', the behavior of Bishop Ammonas seemed at odds with the 'right thing' to do. I wanted the monk to have the woman brought into the light so he could be shamed, face his sin and find redemption.

As I sat more with it, I began to be aware of the things that I have stored away in casks, areas that could be the subject of a witch hunt, or a 'shame you into salvation' meeting. I don't know if Bishop Ammonas was 'right', but I do know that he was 'loving', and sometimes the two are not the same thing.

As I sat further I also asked the difficult question 'What are the activities that cause me to go looking through other people's cells for evidence of sin?' I was away on a silent retreat yesterday and as part of the preparation we were told to leave our cell phones in our cars. I found myself judging someone who didn't and placing myself higher in the mystical realms than them. We did three 20 minute sessions of Centering Prayer, again I found myself judging the people who left part of the way through for not being sufficiently 'Holy'.

'You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye so you can see clearly to take the speck out of your brothers' ~ Jesus

As I wrote that I could feel my old tapes of self-denigration starting to play. 'What a miserable christian I am........I'm such a failure'. somehow I think those thoughts are far more dangerous than anything else I could hide in my cask, sins of 'attitude' are far more deadly than sins of 'action'.

'As a man thinks in his heart, so is he' ~ Proverbs 23:7

I need the bishop's loving warning but I need his protection too.

Learning Theology at Disney World

I spent last week with Steve, Rima, Toby and Sophia at Disney World. As it was Sophia's 6th birthday we celebrated in style. We visited all 4 parks, ate at various Character dinners (Including eating inside Cinderella's castle!) and I saw more Princesses than I have at any other time in my life.

Useless trivia: Which Disney Adult Princess has the least amount of screen time?

Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) appears on screen for less than 18 minutes.

Everywhere we went Sophia was treated as a Princess, Disney definitely does a great job of making you feel welcome and important in their parks. We all had a wonderful time even though my motion sickness made an unwelcome return and caused me to skip a few of the rides.

Throughout the week I had a curious lyric pop into my brain that it took me a while to track down. It's from Gilbert and Sullivan's Comic Opera The Gondoliers.

"When everyone is somebody then no-one's anybody."

My brain was processing the fact that if every girl is a Princess then surely being a Princess is meaningless. Isn't being a Princess only important if it is exclusive? But I know this isn't true, I saw the delight in Sophia's eyes throughout the week. Being a Princess wasn't meaningless for her even when surrounded by all the Disney Princesses.

In my car this morning my brain did a little double flip of its own replacing 'Being a Princess' with 'Being God's Beloved'. Even though I believe that everyone is beloved of God that doesn't minimize God's love for me or the importance of His love in my life. It does make me think about people who fixate on who is 'in' or 'out' of God's Kingdom as if Heaven would somehow be diminished if 'the wrong sort' of person was let in or that their share of God's love would reduce if it was spread around to everyone.

It all sounds so selfish....."I don't want to go to Heaven if [blank] is allowed in". I minimize others to make myself feel important - 'Well at least I'm travelling First Class and not with the crowds in Coach'.

It took a trip to the Magic Kingdom to remind me how extravagantly God loves, and how extravagantly we should love too.

A Wrinkle in Time?

In her wonderful book 'A Wrinkle in Time' author Madeline L'Engle describes Space and Time as a large blanket and suggests that if you can scrunch the fabric together you could jump from wrinkle to wrinkle to get directly to wherever and whenever you wanted.

The Liturgical Church Calendar jumped through a wrinkle this week. Last Sunday was Epiphany - the celebration of the visit of the Wise Men to baby Jesus. This week is Baptism of the Lord Sunday - when we remember 30 yr old Jesus being baptized in the Jordan river by John. That's 30 yrs jumped in the blink of an eye. To be fair though the gospels themselves do go into hyper-drive jumping from the birth narratives to the baptism with one brief stopping point with 12yr old Jesus at the Temple wandering away and giving Mary and Joseph a few extra grey hairs - as if being charged with the responsibility of raising the Son of God wasn't enough to turn your hair grey overnight!

Given the gospel accounts we could be forgiven that Jesus' life was one roller-coaster ride of high adventure, of miracles and teachings. It only takes one sentence for Jesus to get to the next town - even though the walking journey may have taken weeks. All the books we read and the movies we watch seem to jump from adventure to adventure, even so called Reality T.V. has the boring moments edited out - though I did discover a channel once where you could watch the Big Brother house mates live - very boring from 11pm to about 7am when they were all asleep.

We like our reality sped up. We want to wrinkle through the boring sections to get to the next adventure. What I want to learn this year is to find the presence of God in the boring stuff of life and to realize none of life is truly boring if you are awake to it. In the play Our Town by Thornton Wilder, the character of Emily goes back in time after her death and experiences her 12th. birthday again. The memory is too painful for her and she says

"I can't. I can't go on. It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another....oh, Earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you.....Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it!- every, every minute?"

the Stage Manager responds

"No........The saints and poets, maybe - they do some."

Maybe if we slowed down and savored life we would be overwhelmed by all that life has to offer, and so we speed up our existence and close our eyes.....and miss the flowers on the path.

Maybe this year I'll take the long way round.

Help to have Gooder Grammar and the Goodest Writing Style

1. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

2. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

3. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

4. The Passive Voice is to be avoided.

5. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

6. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

7. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, Etc........

8. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

9. Who needs rhetorical questions?

10. Parenthetical comments when appropriate should be enclosed in commas.

11. Go around the barn at high noon to eliminate Colloquialisms.

12. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Don't use no double negatives.

15. Puns are for children not for groan readers.

16. Avoid quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations."

One Sided Identification - Advent 4

For part 3 click here, for part 2, click here and for part 1 click here

I have a tendency when reading books or watching movies to identify with the good guys, in fact I think a good story is crafted in such away to help emotionally attach you to the heroes. We find ourselves in their plight, their struggles are our struggles, their victories are ours. We have a cathartic reaction, the story on the screen helps us access parts of ourselves. Sometimes we all need a good cry, and a good movie or book can get us there.

The problem is our identification tends to be one sided, it's natural to do so. We identify with the hero because we want to be the hero.

When I read scripture I put myself in the 'heroes' shoes too.

I am the Israelites fleeing oppression.
I am the crowds cheering Jesus on Palm Sunday
I am the Shepherds kneeling at the Manger
I am the Wise Men following a star
(but I remove the whole 'Astrology' part because that is suspect)
I am the Prodigal Son who returns home.

Finding ourselves in scripture is a great thing, it brings the narratives alive to us. But we need to be willing to find ourselves in all the characters not just some.

I am the Egyptians oppressing people for my own ends.
I am the Pharisees who view Jesus as a threat.
I am King Herod who orders all male children 2 and under to be killed.
I am the older brother who is disgusted at the amount of grace shown to his sibling.

When I identify with the Hero it helps bring those traits in me more fully into the light, I have the opportunity to become more noble, loving, compassionate, forgiving etc.

When I identify with the Villain it helps bring my shadows into the light where I can honestly identify them and offer them to God for healing.

I read the Magnificat again this morning

And Mary said:
"My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
to Abraham and his descendants forever,
even as he said to our fathers."

Today I wondered:

Where am I Proud? Where in my life do I need to be scattered to get some humility? I can be rather arrogant with my opinions sometimes, I mistake my way, for the way.

What 'thrones' do I need to be dragged off of? Where am I defiantly declaring I know best, while all around me the kingdom of my life crumbles into ruins.

Where am I rich? Where have I taken God's abundance in my life and made it into a sense of entitlement?

Tough questions.

Maybe their toughness is why I chose to find myself in the heroes rather than the villains. But for me to become all that God desires for me to be, they are questions that need to be asked.

A lot more useful than Myrrh!

Finishing the Christmas Cake

I posted a couple of weeks ago about making Christmas cake. Click Here
It is something we would have every year, it almost takes the status of an edible Christmas Decoration - every home has one, you may not particularly like the taste, but Christmas somehow feels diminished without its presence.

Well I took mine out of the pantry on Saturday to ice it and was immediately overwhelmed with the aroma of brandy - hardly surprising giving how much I poured into it!

Now all I had to do was ice it.

First step, turn the cake upside down! It gives you a nice flat surface to decorate and you can hide any flaws at the bottom with icing (sneaky I know)

A traditional English Christmas cake is always double covered. First it has a layer of Marzipan - an almond and sugar paste that was surprisingly difficult to track down. Strange because you can pick up bricks of it all over the U.K. at Christmas.

You cover the top and sides of the cake with warm Apricot Jelly to help the marzipan stick, and then cover.

Not bad for my first attempt since I was 17. After smoothing the top and the sides down I moved on to the next step. When I was growing up we used Royal Icing for this - a mixture of Egg Whites and Confectioners sugar which is notoriously difficult to work with as it dries so quickly. I always wanted to create a nice smooth finish but would always give up in frustration and covering the cake with a stipple effect to hide all the imperfections.

Enter ready made fondant!

So easy to roll and work with, it was glorious! Just stick it to the marzipan by wetting the marzipan slightly.

The cake looked great, although as you can see the bottom edge was a bit ragged because the cake rose unevenly (and it's upside down remember)

Traditionally in the U.K. we would tie a large ribbon around the cake, but I didn't have one handy. I was trying to decide what to do when I glanced at the box that the fondant came in. The cake on the box was surrounded by white fondant balls, perfect for hiding uneven bottoms!!!

I then rolled out some colored fondant and decided to hand carve some holly leaves, always a good festive touch, and relatively easy with a sharp knife.

Emboldened by my success with the fondant I decided to try and construct a rosette (as the instructions were also on the box.

Here is the cake with the pieces of the rosette in front drying.

And here is the finished cake. All ready to be consumed over the Christmas holidays - and probably well on into the New Year!!!

It's Jelly Time - WARNING!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I recently took time out from my busy rehearsal schedule to meet British Celebrity Chef Nigella Lawson.



Well I was browsing through her new Christmas Cookbook when I saw a recipe for Chile Jam (Jelly for all the American Readers). Now I had tasted Jalapeno Jelly a couple of years previously, served over cream cheese with crackers, and it was awesome, so I decided to make some Chile Jam of my own.

Here is Nigella's Recipe, along with some stern warnings!!!

1 cup seeded and roughly chopped Chiles
(I used Jalapeno the first time and Red Serrano the second time)

1 cup cored, seeded and roughly chopped bell pepper
(Same color as the peppers)

5 cups of sugar

1 box (1.75 oz) powdered fruit pectin
(normally with the canning supplies, in my store near the saran wrap and foil!)

Small 8oz sealable jars -the recipe makes 5-6 cups worth
(I normally run these through the dishwasher on hot to sterilize them!)

2 1/2 cups apple cider vinegar

A few drops of gel food coloring the same color as the peppers.




Put the chopped up chiles in the food processor and then pulse until they are finely diced.

Add the chunks of bell pepper and pulse until you have a finely chopped bowl full.

Dissolve the sugar and the pectin in the vinegar in a LARGE, I repeat LARGE pan over low heat.

Scrape the chile pepper mixture out of the bowl and into the pan. Bring to a boil and leave it at full rollicking boil for 15 minutes. DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON IT OR TAKE YOUR EYES OFF IT!!!!!

Take the pan off the heat and stir in a few drops of food coloring to get the desired color. Leave for about 40 minutes to cool.

After 40 minutes give it a stir and then ladle it into jars - a jelly funnel is really helpful here if you have one :)

So why all the stern warnings??? Well as you can see from the picture below, even though the amount of jelly before it boils looks rather feeble in the bottom of the pan, it increases in volume rapidly.

The first time I was making the jelly I was making a double amount in a pan that size, which at first glance seemed plenty big enough - bad mistake. I turned my back and walked away from the stove. From the other side of the kitchen I saw hot bubbling Jam, overflow the pan, flow over the oven, down the kitchen counters and onto the tile floor. I couldn't reach the burner to turn it off straight away as I was barefoot and didn't want to get burns on the soles of my feet. If you make this please be very careful, it is hot and sticky, so if it gets on your skin it burns and is tricky to wash off.

I had to wait until the jelly cooled down and then take the stove top apart and clean EVERYTHING.

Well here are the two jellies I made, sorry about the dim lighting. One is a very festive green (made from Jalapeno) and the other is a christmassy red (made from Red Serrano).

The jalapeno has a gentle warmth, whereas the Serrano has some fire to it!!!

The second time I made the Jelly it actually was a very simple process, although the fumes from the Serrano peppers both while seeding and then while cooking were very very potent - open some windows and turn the vents on!!!

The jellies look festive and they taste great with cold ham.

Irritating, but mildly addictive :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-5ar30_tgg

NOT the Christmas Cake Recipe I used :)

A Christmas Cake

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 1 bottle Brandy
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the brandy to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the brandy again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the brandy is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case.

Turn off the mixer thingy.

Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the brandy.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the brandy and wipe counter with the cat.

Bingle Jells!

Pax Deus? - Advent Part 3

For part 1 click here, for part 2 click here.

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." Luke 2:13-14

The Shepherds on the hillside knew about peace, they were living under the Pax Romana that ran from 27 B.C. to 180 A.D. But the peace they experienced was bought at a price - Roman Occupation. It was a peace created through Oppression, Subjugation, and Conformity. There was no room for dissent or difference of opinion. Conflict was dealt with swiftly and brutally. You kept quiet and paid your taxes, just keep your head down and do what is required and everything will be fine.

It is into this Peace that the angels speak a Declaration of God's Peace. Why settle for Pax Romana when you can have the Pax Deus?

The Pax Romana worked, it produced results as satirized brilliantly by the Monty Python gang in the 'The Life of Brian'.

What have the Romans ever done for us?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExWfh6sGyso

Pax Deus may be better, but it is also unknown. God's peace is messy, it is extended on people on whom God's favor rests, and God in his grace extends his favor to everyone. God's favor, God's blessing is the great leveler. Mary sang in Luke 1

My soul doth magnify the Lord.
And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
Because he hath regarded the humility of his handmaid;
for behold from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
Because he that is mighty,
hath done great things to me;
and holy is his name.
And his mercy is from generation unto generations,
to them that fear him.
He hath shewed might in his arm:
he hath scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart.
He hath put down the mighty from their seat,
and hath exalted the humble.
He hath filled the hungry with good things;
and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He hath received Israel his servant,
being mindful of his mercy:
As he spoke to our fathers,
to Abraham and to his seed for ever.

The careful order of the Pax Romana is gone. Hierarchy is abolished there is no longer any preference into experiencing the Peace of God. We are all God's chosen people. That is wonderful news, but a burden if you were expecting preferential treatment because of Class, Race, Gender, Economic Privilege, Sexual Orientation or any another possible distinguishing feature you can think of.

And there's the problem, Grace. We Christians like our Hierachy, we like to say who is In and who is Out. It seems that the peace our churches offer more resembles the Pax Romana than the Pax Deus. We get caught up in making sure that the correct people are included and the wrong sort excluded. We may even 'tolerate' some of the wrong sort, but we expect them to keep quiet and pretend to conform.

Where we exclude, God includes.
Where we tolerate, God embraces.

I wish I was more like God, I can be very harsh and judgmental at times. When someone judges me I want to respond back in kind. I find myself wanting to 'Scatter the proud', 'Put down the Mighty' and 'Send the Rich away empty'.

God, let me experience Your peace this Christmas.

Some things must die....

I don't remember when I stopped believing in Santa. We never did presents from Santa as a child, everything was neatly labeled with the giver and the recipient. I know at some point I gave up old St. Nick and entered into the deeper mysteries of Christmas. Giving up childish things didn't diminish my Christmas experience, it just refocused it.

In Re-Enchanting Christianity Dave Tomlinson writes:

'The ancient Hopi people of North America have a fascinating rite of passage for their children as they move into young adulthood. Throughout their life these children have been familiar with the Kachinas, the tribe's masked holy men, who bless the corn harvest and bring toys and gifts for the children like Santa Claus. But one night as the children are brought into the sacred circle, something different occurs: on this occasion, instead of giving them gifts, the Kachinas simply remove their masks, revealing the fact that these figures whom the children thought were gods are actually their family and neighbors - people whom they see every day. It is a moment of sacred disenchantment, when childish naivety gives way to grown up reality.'

(Image taken from this website here)

I'm not exactly sure when I stopped believing in the Christianity of my childhood (strongly Fundamentalist, Conservative and Evangelical). All I know was that I went through a long period of doubt and depression where Atheism seemed very attractive. The Fundamentalism that I embraced did not embrace me back. My inner landscape seemed so different from everyone else that believing no longer seemed an option.

Fortunately the Grace of God is so much larger than I believed. God is far more liberal with his grace than I ever could have imagined. Even though wandering away from Fundamentalism felt like wandering into Apostasy, some beliefs need to die. - When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things. 1 Cor 13:11 But nobody ever gave me a road map for dying. As Dave Tomlinson goes on to say:

'Sadly, the church offers no equivalent of the Hopi ritual; there is no 'Service of Disenchantment' to help us figure out what are the 'childish things' about Christianity that should be left behind, and what are the things we need to hold on to. Indeed, paradoxically, experiencing disenchantment with the christian faith is actually fundamental to growing as a christian. It is the reality check that brings into question all that we have simply taken for granted, the acid bath that purges naive assumptions, false religious pretensions and unthinking conformity.'

Working for a church means Christmas comes early- I was composing new christmas carols while everyone else was celebrating Labor Day. It feels like I don't celebrate Christmas, I just facilitate it for others. It can be difficult to enter into the 'Spirit of the Season' (whatever that means), when you are running from planning meeting to worship service, from Children's Musical to Choir rehearsal. The final push to Christmas Day is upon me and I'm feeling a bit indifferent to the whole thing, I've not become Scrooge of the Grinch, but my main focus is on my January vacation. The only Christmas decoration up at the house is a wreath on the door, even my beloved Veggie Tales Nativity set still languishes in its box.

It seems that even my Christmas Celebration is in the process of dying and being transformed into something new. I've made Christmas Cake for the first time since I was 17. Some traditions are being revived, others are up for review and are found lacking in substance. I"m not sure what will emerge the other end, but as the 'death of Santa' led me to a deeper experience of Christmas and the 'death of fundamentalism' led me to a deeper experience of the divine mystery of God I'm finally learning to trust the work that happens in my inner life.

Me Me Me Me!

Good News - Advent 2

For Advent 1 click here

We were discussing the Angels announcement to the Shepherds. 'Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people'. It was a phrase I'd heard so many times that I wasn't totally paying attention. Someone in the group asked the question 'What is the good news that you need to hear to bring you great joy?'

The answer that came to mind was immediate and flippant, it was only through excessive use of my filter that I didn't say it out loud. 'Good news? Congratulations Peter, you have just won free liposuction.'

I smiled to myself and then froze.

Sometimes my brain takes me to places I wish it didn't.

"Peter, what is it about your body image that causes you to make jokes like that? What does that kind of joking do for you?"

Earlier this week I'd been reflecting on my need to always have something about me to hate. The object of that hate has shifted over the years, but even though I'm getting emotionally healthier all the time it seems that I still need something to hate to make me feel o.k. Somehow all those sermons about self-denial transformed into thoughts of self-hatred. It's the old tape that still plays in the back of my mind, if I can just hate [blank] enough, then I can use the energy of that hate to change it.

I know that doesn't work. I've written here before about how Hate cannot fuel the engine of Change. But still I keep hating. I see the problem, but I do nothing to change the status quo, nothing to reach toward the solution. If I stop hating my body what will I hate instead? I think that is the fear behind the hatred for me....I need to remember that Perfect Love casts out Fear.

It is easier to cling to self destructive behaviors than reach for healing. Lies always seem so much more enticing than the truth. It is easy for me to convince myself to do nothing.

"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:10-11

The message of a Savior is one that I still need, even after all these years that I have walked this pilgrim journey. It seems that the Spiritual Life consists of identifying more and more areas that I need saving from. I need good news of great joy. I need Jesus to remind me that I don't need to hate myself to be loved by Him.

'What is the good news that you need to hear to bring you great joy?'

Meeting Heros

I've posted a lot about my love for Nigella Lawson and her cookbooks. (You can read and see her Jumbleberry Crumble here, and it was her Christmas cake I made last week) Well she has a new cookbook just out that is all Christmas recipes and I was fortunate enough to meet her at a book signing this evening!

She had been talking and signing books for an 90 minutes by the time I went through the line, and she was still wonderfully energetic and polite - I'm glad I got to meet her :)

If in doubt, add more brandy!

I did some reflecting this week to help with the Advent retreat I led on Thursday. One of the questions was around what aspects of Christmas Past poured life into you. When I looked at them, there were 3 broad categories. Food, Weather and Community. I can't do much about the weather I decided but I could do something about the other 2 and in that moment the insane desire to make English Christmas Cake was born!

A couple of years ago I blogged here about my Mum's Christmas cake and the wonderful kitsch decorations. I haven't made Christmas Cake since I was 17.

I sat down in front of the fire a few days ago curled up with 2 different Nigella Lawson cookbooks and eventually worked out what I was going to make. I made a few interpretive decisions in terms of ingredients (adding cranberries!) , but I'm so excited about how it's going to taste.
Here is my big batch of mixed dried fruits after they have been soaking all night in a cup of brandy - Nigella recommended 1/2 a cup, but that was barely enough to get them moist. I reasoned that a cup of brandy would also counteract the tartness of the cranberries. Christmas Cake in my family was always liberally doused in alcohol, I think it was partly to disguise the taste.


The cake itself always requires a bit of 'Blue Peter' fiddliness (though without the sticky-backed plastic). First line the sides of the cake tin with parchment coming up about 4 inches above the height of the pan. Then line the inside bottom of the pan with parchment too. Then wrap the outside of the pan in brown paper, also rising about 4 inches above the rim of the pan. The cake cooks for 3 hours in a 300F oven. I believe the paper helps funnel the heat in some way. I've no real answer for why, but Nigella's cookbook told me to do it so it must be important!

Here is the yummy fruit cake batter carefully placed inside all that paper and ready for the oven. You should have seen me trying to hold the brown paper together and tie a one handed knot!
It baked for 3 hours, filling the house with a glorious fruit cake aroma. As soon as it's time was up I took it out of the oven, poured yet more brandy all over it and then wrapped the entire cake and pan in foil. It stays like that until cold, the foil traps the steam and helps keep the top of the cake soft and moist while it cools.

It will now live in an airtight container in the pantry for 3 weeks and then comes the icing.

The completed fruit cake will be covered in Apricot Preserve. On top of that goes a layer of Marzipan and covering all of that is a layer of White fondant or Royal Icing. I'm opting for the fondant icing this year for ease of decoration! Put some ornaments on top, tie a ribbon around it and voila English Christmas descends.

And the best bit of all was that the weather decided to get in the Christmas spirit too.

I had the fireplace roaring away and John Rutter Christmas Carols playing on the ipod. Sometimes I am such a cliche!

World Aids Day

This is a re-post from Dec 1st last year, but it seemed an important memory to share, especially as I read this morning that the number of new cases of hiv has risen for the first time in years and is spreading primarily through heterosexual relations.

Today is World AIDS Day. I was reading an article about whether the Global AIDS crisis is overblown. It's an interesting thought provoking article, but one line just made me smile -

"Everybody talks about AIDS at cocktail parties," Oldfield said. "But nobody wants to hear about diarrhea."

Ewww!

Back in the 90s Churches in the U.K. did special services on World Aids Day, today it just seems to slip by almost unnoticed. I remember attending a service in Nottingham - I attended because a friend of mine was speaking. I recall sitting there and being aware that some of the people who were sitting across the aisle from me were living with AIDS. It was the first time I'd seen someone with the disease. It put a face to something I'd just heard talk about. Suddenly AIDS became much more real to me.

After the sermon they played the song 'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables' from the musical Les Miserables, they played it in memory of people who had died from the disease.



As the song echoed around the church I began to see people sobbing over friends, colleagues and partners they had lost. I did not know anyone who had died from the disease, but the grief was so palpable I began to weep too.

It was at that point that AIDS ceased to be a 'homosexual problem' or a 'third world problem' instead it was simply a 'Human Problem'.