Sunday, January 04, 2009

Swimming Naked?

Many people have asked me, especially after this last blog post here, how my Christmas was.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here's my answer -

Here I am, overweight, depressed and with a slight hint of whimsy. There is a lot happening right now that I cannot control, so I've decided that I need to do something about what I still have control over.

My weight.

In the 6 months before mom died I lost about 25 pounds. I was biking regularly and eating healthily. After her death the grief piled on the pounds. I want to lose that weight again. I want to lose 30 pounds by next Christmas, realistically I think I could actually achieve that goal in 6 months, so I think I'll aim for 6 months, with the escape route of extending it to 12 if I need to. I'm already trying to cut down the quantity of food I eat as I usually keep eating even after I'm full up, and I'm cutting down initially to one can of Dr. Pepper a day (boohoo).

If this works then I'm guessing exercise will be the next thing added back into the mix.

Christmas had a lot of the joy sucked out of it this year for reasons I'm not going to into now. New Years was better. I'm sure Lubbock, Texas is not every one's idea of an anti-depressant, but it was what I needed. Getting to see old friends was a balm to my wounds.

We didn't talk much depth, though we did talk a lot of b.s.We didn't 'share our lives deeply with each other', we simply got to 'live our lives' with each other, and that was more than enough. Sometimes the deepest of intimacy is created not by sharing wounds, but by sharing laughter. I didn't need to talk about the crap in my life with them, I knew I had the option to do so, and just knowing they were available made the sharing unnecessary.

I've heard it said that it's only when the tide goes out that you see who is swimming naked. Well the tide went out at Christmas, and I'm glad to say I was still well covered up. Covered up by faith, covered up by prayer and covered up by friends. I don't know if it will be a long walk back to the beach, or whether the water will come back and I can float gently to shore, but I do know I'll be o.k.

Sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on, and other times you need a good laugh.

Thanks for the laugh Lubbock, you were much needed.


Memzie Latham said...

It was so good to see you and Steve! Can't wait to see you again. Loves!!!

Becca said...

I was having some tea and it made me think of you so I thought I'd check in. I'm sorry you're having a tough time, but I'm glad you have a good support system. If you want to escape again feel free to come up here to see us!