Jesus' super awesome equestrian skills!

When they had come near Jerusalem and had reached Bethphage, at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, “Go into the village ahead of you, and immediately you will find a donkey tied, and a colt with her; untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, just say this, ‘The Lord needs them.’ And he will send them immediately.” This took place to fulfill what had been spoken through the prophet, saying,

“Tell the daughter of Zion, Look, your king is coming to you, humble, and mounted on a donkey, and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”

The disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them; they brought the donkey and the colt, and put their cloaks on them, and he sat on them. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and that followed were shouting, “Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest heaven!” When he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was in turmoil, asking, “Who is this?” The crowds were saying, “This is the prophet Jesus from Nazareth in Galilee.”

Matthew 21: 1-11

This is one of those very familiar biblical scenes. It's a great one for teaching children, I'm sure I first heard it in church before I ever read the passage. Many churches act out the scene on Palm Sunday, I know I sang about it in the first christian musical I was ever in (all together now...'Jesus rode a donkey into town, many folks came out for miles around...') The problem with a story so familiar is that we assume we know it and so we read what we think the text says rather than what it actually says.

Matthew throws a wrench in our whole image of Palm Sunday. Verses 2 and 7 say that the disciples bought 2 animals for Jesus to ride, a donkey and its colt, and that Jesus somehow rode both of them. The quotation from the book of Zechariah 9:9 that Matthew quotes in verse 5 is also slightly different from the old testament text.

When I read this passage through the lens of bible study I get rather confused. Different commentators have different ways of resolving the tension, and when I read them it feels more like they are molding the text to fit their particular view point than simple addressing what is there.

But what about looking at this passage through contemplative eyes? What can we see beyond the slightly confusing narrative?

This year I find myself drawn to the colt and the donkey. Mark tells us that the colt had never been ridden before. An unbroken beast becomes the way Jesus enters into Jerusalem. That gives me hope for the wild, untamed, unruly parts of my life. The parts of me that seem uncontrolable may be the very parts that Jesus wants to use to ride in triumph upon.

Matthew's telling of the story places a donkey alongside the colt. A regular beast of burden, of service.

In the 12 step community they often talk how service keeps you sober.

I remember a time about 6 years ago when I was wrestling with depression (as I do periodically). One of the hardest things for me to do was to feel connected with God - and when you work for a church and don't feel connected to God it's easy to feel like a hypocrite. One of the things that helped pull me out was when I went with the rest of the Mercy Street Staff to cook and serve dinner for the women in the Santa Maria Hostel. To be honest I resented the extra work and preparation it took, esp as I was appointed head chef at a time when all I wanted to do was wander around in my black cloud and sulk. But there was something about that act of service that helped me connect with God when just about everything else I had tried failed.

The Colt and the Donkey.

The Untamed and the Helpful.

Both become ways that Jesus is carried into the midst of my life.

Milestones of Masculinity?

I wrote this following post back in 2007 when I was blogging on Myspace....a conversation after staff worship yesterday brought it to mind (don't ask!) so I thought I would re post it here. If talk of male underwear offends you, quit reading now.

I've just returned from the store where I've just purchased my first jock strap. I'm 39 and never experienced this rite of passage before.

I'm going to a costume party tomorrow night and as part of my costume I need to wear white trousers - pants for you speakers of 'American English' (though isn't 'American English' an oxymoron? But I digress). All I have at home are colored boxer shorts and although I have the fashion sense of a circus clown even I know that colored boxers will show though and create an unexpected comic slant to the costume. This knowledge left me with 2 options a) Purchase new underwear or b) Go commando

Well 'b' is not really an option for me. I've been commando once in my life through circumstances way too embarrassing to blog about here and I have absolutely no desire to do it again. Consequently I had to put the plastic to good use and purchase a new garment. Weighing up my underwear options I was left with a) Whitey Tighties b) White Y fronts c) White boxers or d) a white jock strap.

Well Whitie Tighties are a no go for me. Suffice to say I'm a boxers rather than briefs guy. White Y fronts would be possible but those are what I wore as a kid before I discovered the freedom of boxers. Going back and slipping on a pair of those (why do we refer to them in the plural? A pair?) would feel like regressing to childhood. What next? Disposable diapers or terry cloth and pins? White boxer shorts are not that readily available - so off to the sporting goods store.

Now to be perfectly honest there are lots of other options available to me, but I must confess a certain curiosity about the humble jock strap. Growing up in the U.K. this mighty garment of the American High School locker room was never seen. Never. My knowledge of Jock Straps has all been garnered from American High School Movies - mainly John Hughes films, and one highly guilt ridden viewing of 'Porkys'.

As I drove to the store this morning I found myself wondering if a boy's first jock strap (or as the packaging calls it 'Under Armor') is one of those marks of maturity. Do dads take their sons shopping in the same way mothers go with their daughters to purchase their first training bra? This garment must be important, it even has its own entry in Wikipedia!

All this philosophical musings came to an abrupt halt when I realized that I would have to hand this to the checker and pay for it. Now, I don't have the body of a sporting demi-god and so I began to panic that she would smile at me, see my purchase, and then call all the other checkers over to ridicule this fat hairy Englishman buying a garment for obviously '....illicit purposes as he can't possibly be the sporting type' except for maybe competitive darts and if you need under armor for that you obviously have some difficulties with your aim!

Why do I care so much what other people think? Well when I was a boy my parent's method of discipline involved a lot of shame. My brother and I were never hit; instead comments like "People around here know what you've done and what you are really like!" were often uttered. Consequently my brother and I imagined a huge invisible crowd of people watching our every move and we lived in fear of being found out.

I'm still working though my issue of caring too much what other people think. The church I grew up in added to that image by painting for me a God who is leaning forward on His cloud watching my every move waiting for me to put a foot wrong so he could press the 'smite' button. St. Paul didn't help much either. In Hebrews 12:1 he says 'Therefore since we are surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses....' Paul paints an image of the heroes of the faith looking down upon us and cheering us on, but I always had a nagging suspicion that in my case they were shaking their heads in shame and embarassment because they see 'what I'm really like'.

I'm learning to not care so much about what people think. In fact, me writing an entire blog about Jock Straps (or for you delicate types - Under Armor) and posting it where almost anyone can read it is one more step in my healing. Some of you might consider this blog 'inappropriate' in someway. And it's ok if you do - as in the same way that it's ok that I think the whole thing is actually kind of funny.

So, tomorrow night is the costume party - I'll post some pictures of me in costume soon. I will be able to attend secure in the knowledge that my underwear is not showing though my pants. There's just one problem though, how do you wear these stupid things???

I Pray With My Fingers

Most of my adult life has been spent working as a church musician, consequently I think about things most church goers don't have to worry about.

What key should I play the songs in? Are the congregation warmed up enough to sing in a higher key, or is it so early in the morning that I should lower the key so people can sing the song easier? But if I lower the key how will I make a smooth musical transition to the next song?

Should I repeat the chorus of this song again? Will the people operating the computer follow me if I do? Will the other musicians know what I'm planning? Should I shorten the song? Is the congregation engaged with what I'm leading?

Am I playing loud enough that the congregation feels supported in their singing? Am I playing soft enough so that the congregation doesn't feel drowned out?

Should I pray to link the songs together? Should I say something meaningful? Do I talk to much? Do I talk too little?

Will the person who is next in the service remember to come up to the lectern? Should I play something to underscore this transition?


With this cacophony of thought going on inside the head I still try to connect with God whilst I am leading...

...and so I pray.

I pray with words, I pray with silence, and I pray with my fingers. I let my fingers communicate what I need to express to God. I pray with Harmony, with Dissonance, with Rhythm, with Melody, with Dynamics. As my fingers move across the keys they are able to express in sound what I may not be able to put into words. Cascading patterns of notes become melodic hallelujahs. Harmonic suspensions and chordal clashes become honest moments of confession. As fragments expand and contract in harmonic variations I am finding new ways to say 'I love you'. My light and my darkness offered in worship in a private musical language that only God fully comprehends.

I pray with sound, with silence, with words, with music.

I am a church musician, and I pray with my fingers.

March Games Played

I had a bit of a lull in games played in March, I only managed 22 plays of 18 different games (down from 28 in 2010).

4 games had the honor of being played twice.

Bohnanza I'd actually forgotten how much fun it is to plant beans. It doesn't outlast its welcome and you get to negotiate some fun deals.

Boggle I am not really a fan of word games, I struggle to see words when the letters are jumbled up, I'm not a big fan of scrabble either for the same reason.

Don Quixote It's a tile placement game that features neither Don Quixote, Sancho Panza or Dulcinea!  It wasn't that exciting, nothing new or particularly innovative, but it was quick :D

Wits and Wagers It's a good game for a crowd, not that difficult and it doesn't outstay its welcome.

 It was nice to see Black Friday hit the table again (even if I did get a rule wrong), and I was glad Master Thieves got played as it is the most expensive game I own.


I've also got everything booked for my annual Board Game Convention in November - the convention totally sold out in 5 days, so I'm glad I was able to get a place :)

I'm not going to explain why I'm carrying my mat.

Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, and so the Jewish leaders said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.”

But he replied, “The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’ ”

So they asked him, “Who is this fellow who told you to pick it up and walk?”

The man who was healed had no idea who it was, for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there.

Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had made him well.
So, because Jesus was doing these things on the Sabbath, the Jewish leaders began to persecute him.

This is a tough passage to read for me, Jesus statement about 'Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.' raises a lot of questions in my mind that normally distracts me from seeing other things in the passage.

I think the man's response to Jesus question 'Do you want to get well?' is very telling. For the man, healing means getting into the pool when the water is stirred (first person in gets the miracle! See John 5:4). He's been paralyzed for 38 years, and for much of that time he has been lying by the pool on his mat trying to get into the water to win the race for the healing. He has a set expectation for how God will bring healing into his life. The pool. Maybe he imagined that Jesus would offer to help him into the water.

Instead healing comes in a completely unexpected form. 'Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.'

After years of lying down paralyzed the fact that the man can walk at all is a sign of healing, having the strength to also carry his mat is further confirmation of the miracle.

Carrying his mat meant that he lost his place by the pool. If he'd left his mat behind he could have reserved his spot so he had somewhere to go if this 'healing thing' didn't work out for him. His mat defined his world, and Jesus encourages him to take his mat with him...and break the law.

I identify with this man. I can think of situations in my life where I am convinced I know how Jesus will bring healing and change. I tell God what healing should look like for me, and even how he should accomplish it in my life. I need to keep remembering that God is bigger than the box I put God in. I mustn't get so attached to my mat that I am unwilling to roll it up and carry it. Sometimes the very things I put in place for my own comfort and protection can become barriers.

To the Jewish Leaders the mat was a sign of a Sabbath breaker, something forbidden. They don't care about the miracle in this man's life...all they see is the mat. There is no acknowledgement of the journey that has led to the mat being carried through the city streets. The idea that this act of lawbreaking could stem from an encounter with God seems unthinkable.

I don't need to explain to everyone who asks why I'm carrying my mat. Often the people who ask are unable to hear the answer, the story of my encounter falls on deaf ears. Jesus asked me to do what I thought was unthinkable, to take up my mat and walk. I'll leave the explaining to others. I have some walking to do.

Wow - a Virtual Choir of 2000+ Voices

Going beyond making the grade.

Rewriting the Past

Back in July 1990 I was on vacation in Swanage, England, a small costal town on the south coast. I spent most of the days wandering the hills overlooking the beach, reading the book of Romans and a book called The Father Heart of God by Floyd McClung. The weekend obviously left an impression on me, in the fact that I remember it in such vivid detail.

Whilst wandering around the headlands I would spend time singing to myself, and I wrote a lyric for a praise song that goes as follows:

Lord Let me feel Your gentle touch,
A freely flowing healing stream
Filling my soul with all Your power
And bathing my heart with love

Pour out a waterfall (women echo each line)
Of love and light
pour out a waterfall
On me
Please let Your Spirit come
And flood my heart
A waterfall
Of love.

Lord let me hear Your gentle voice
That leads through my uncertainty
Shining a light where I should walk
And guiding me on my way

Pour out a waterfall...

Lord pour Your Spirit on Your church
As water on a thirsty land
Break down the barriers of fear
Until we are one in You

Pour out a waterfall....

In the Contemplative Service we frequently use a form of prayer that we call Waterfall Prayer. You image holding someone out under a waterall of God's love. It's a way to pray for someone when you really don't have the words to do so.

So I recently revisited my old song to see if it was usable. After playing through it I began to critique it with 21 years of song writing under my belt. Musically it never really makes it, the verses are in the key of C while the chorus is in F. Can you think of many praise songs where the verses and chorus are in different keys? I can think of a few that use the Relative Minor and Major, but not many, and there's a good reason for that. It sounds like 2 separate songs that have been velcroed together. It flows, but it feels uncomfortable.

The melody of the verses feels very 'hymn like', it doesn't lead into the chorus, and the melody of the chorus is rather hackneyed with it's echo and the shape of the tune. It feels borderline children's musical to me, it's almost too easy to learn, it's predictable, boring.

The lyrics? Well, they are ok, but they try to cover too much in the song. Verse 1 is about experiencing God in the present. Verse 2 about God guiding us...and note the mixed metaphor, "Let me hear your gentle voice......shining a light", how does a voice shine a light? Verse 3 suddenly jumps theme from personal renewal/guidance, to corporate renewal of the church. The pronouns switch from 'I' to 'We' and then of course switch back to the singular 'Me' for the chorus.

And so, a rewrite was definitely in order to make something usable.

The new lyric reads like this:

Love, like a waterfall,
Falling on us,
Flooding our hearts with grace and peace
Healing waters flow
Flowing on us,
Flooding our hearts with love.

(Repeat)

Every moment of every day God is loving us,
Showers of mercy and waves of forgiveness are covering us.

Love, like a waterfall....

The first thing you notice is that the song is much shorter and focussed. The lyrics don't try to cover too much ground. It is also all in the plural, 'Us'. I made a conscious decision to write it that way, but also wanted to craft it in such a way that if we were praying for others we could change the lyric to 'You' instead of 'Us' and it would still make sense.

The B section of the lyric 'Every moment of every day' is actually optional, it flows just fine, but you can use the A section alone as a response. In fact the first time we sang the song I did the B section as a solo.

In a song this short it is difficult to maintain a rhyming scheme that doesn't sound forced, instead I chose to tie the lyric together through repeating sounds within the lines. "...like a waterfall, falling..." and "...waters flow, flowing..." for example. Also the use of  Falling, Flowing, Flooding helps give the lyric cohesion.

The melody of the A section 'Love, like a waterfall', mainly falls in stepward motion, illustrating the lyrics melodically - something that my original 1990 song attempted to do but was unsuccessful. The B section mainly climbs step wise twice, with 2 jumps down that mirror the A section.

Probably the most important change in the lyric is a shift in my understanding of God. The original lyric was a request for God to pour out his love upon us, the new lyric is an acknowledgement that God is actively pouring out his love upon us all the time.

Sometimes it's an interesting exercise to rewrite the past.

My Requiem

My original post where I uploaded the recording of my requiem has stopped working...I finally figured out a new way of doing it.

(the files may take a few moments to start playing)

Enjoy the music :)

02+Introit+and+Kyrie

04+Dies+Irae

06+Pie+Jesu

08+Offertory

10+Sanctus

12+Benedictus

14+Agnus+Dei

16+Libera+Me

18+In+Paradisum-Benediction

Carrying the Bear of Faith

(I wrote this years ago, I have absolutely no idea why!)

Associated Press

Jim Hardcastle is a man with a mission. A mission that involves danger, suspense, freezing conditions and a six foot two inch tall Teddy Bear that he has affectionately christened Stanley. For Jim this mission is of the utmost importance and seriousness, but for Stanley? Well he’s just along for the ride strapped on Jim’s back – his embroidered smile never waning.

I first caught up with Jim at his mission training camp, which is located in the entertainment room of his modest two-bedroom house located in the Catskills. But there is no ordinary entertainment that goes on here; Jim has constructed plywood ledges and ramps, a miniature climbing wall and a large walk in freezer, which Jim and Stanley sit in for at least two hours every day. There are no televisions or stereo systems; anything that could be a distraction for Jim and prevent him from developing the skills he needs has been discarded. His passion and determination have cost him dearly. His wife Sylvia left him two months ago for a mountaineer in Colorado whom Jim employed to teach him the correct use of crampons. His daughter Jess has started dating the Emergency Repair Specialist from the Steiff Teddy Bear Company who Jim flew in so that he could learn the correct repair and maintenance of Stanley whom he commissioned from Steiff for a mere $5000.

Not only has Jim lost family members over his quest but his social life has suffered as well. Jim never leaves his house without Stanley strapped precariously on his back and so most of his friends now avoid him. Practically every business in Jim’s idyllic mountain village has banned him from entering their premises as long as he has Stanley riding with him. This inconvenience would have long deterred a lesser man but not Jim. He has his carefully balanced nutritional meals delivered to him once a month, which he then stores, and eats in his Entertainment Freezer Center. He is content to spend all his time with Stanley for as he says:

“If we can’t get on with each other now, how will we cope when we are trying to sleep inside my tent while we are making the main assault on the North Face?”

Jim’s dream, his drive, his calling and passion – although many would say crazed obsession- is to be the first man to make a solo ascent on Mount Everest with a six foot two inch tall Teddy Bear strapped on his back. Jim himself would describe his goal rather differently however and when he does so he speaks with the fervent passion of a country preacher with an inner fire that no amount of time in his home freezer can dim.

“I was reading through the book of Psalms when the LORD first spoke to me. Psalm 22v1 to be exact, ‘Let us go to the House of the LORD’. Then I glanced backwards and saw Ch 121v1, ‘I lift up mine eyes to the hills’. So many of the Psalms in my bible were described as ‘A song of Ascents’ that I knew the LORD was calling me to climb. I must ascend Mount Zion! I thumbed through my grandmother’s atlas, but I couldn’t locate Zion anywhere…….and that was then the Lord spakest unto me and shewed me that only the tallest mountain would be a fitting ascent for His Glory.”

Jim paused to wipe some froth away from his mouth with his pocket-handkerchief.

“I called my Nephew Dylan and bid him enlighten me unto the name of the tallest Mount. Out of the mouths of babes and infants is spoken much truth, but Dylan is only 15 months old and so he just gurgled and belched. As the LORD has not seen fit to bestow on me the Gift of Interpretation I called the local library where Phyllis informed me that Everest was the mountain I sought.”

Jim’s level of faith and obedience would shame even the most fervent Pentecostal. He truly believes that the LORD will sustain him and protect him during his climb. He quotes many passages to support this belief, his favorite being Psalm 121v3 “He will not let your foot be moved.”

But surprisingly there are still skeptics. Most of them desperately seeking an explanation for the presence of Stanley strapped on Jim’s back. I asked Jim to respond to the nay sayers who claim that even if Jim was fit enough to climb Everest, the presence of a frozen cuddy toy lashed to his back would make the climb impossible as a conservative estimate places the weight of a frozen Stanley at 577lbs and 4ozs.

“We all have our crosses to bear,” said Jim. “Stanley is mine. He is the bear that Daniel saw in his vision (Chapter 7) that was ‘raised up’. How much further can a bear be raised than the summit of the world’s highest mountain!”

Many of the village’s children however have embraced Jim as one of their own, an action that Jim sees as a confirmation of his calling. Some of them have gone so far as to throw temper tantrums until their parents bought plush soft toy bear backpacks, which they wear constantly. The sight of Jim and Stanley leading his entourage of devotees through the back roads is faintly reminiscent of the Pied Piper of Hamlin. But unlike the piper, the ‘Bear-Carrier of the Catskills’ is not out for profit or revenge. Simple obedience and faith is his calling.

The town’s only Minister, the Right Reverend Horace Thrumblaster has this to say about his most eccentric parishioner

“ I say this with as much love as I can muster, but I truly believe that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a Bear-Carrier to climb Mount Everest.”

But Jim insists that it is possible for a camel to go through the eye of a needle

“All you need is a very large needle or a very efficient Blender,” he says smiling.

I guess only time will tell.


Editorial Comment: When last seen, Jim was in the Himalayas accompanied by two Sherpas heading for his base camp. Stanley was nowhere to be seen however, for even Jim’s passion could be tempered by the corporate funding and Sponsorship of Disney. Stanley is now a permanent fixture at a children’s home outside of Springfield having been ousted by a Six foot two inch heated and thermally insulated model of Baloo from Disney’s ‘The Jungle Book’.

Prayer and Songwriting

I am teaching this week at another church in town, they are doing a series on Prayer and the Arts and I'm talking about songwriting.

I'm going to teach 2 creative writing projects that I utilize both in prayer and in songwriting. To do this I've been playing around with a new presentation software called Prezi. I'm not much of a visual artist so I haven't really tapped into it's potential, but I do like the way I can zoom into the clustering technique to show details and then zoom out again to show the whole thing. Here's the presentation (just click on the triangle to advance the slides, if the presentation doesn't seem to load, then reload the page or follow the hyperlink above, sometimes I've had problems!)

Exploring the Lord's Prayer on Prezi

In the process of working on the presentation I interacted with each line of the Lord's Prayer (or Model Prayer as the church where I'm teaching calls it) by rewriting them using Synonymous, Antithetical and Synthetic Paralellisms ~ watch the presentation to find out what they are :)

Here's my result

Our Father in Heaven

• Dad of us all, who covers us all
• We are not orphans, living life unobserved
• We are one family, with God watching us all

Hallowed be Thy Name

• Your name is a beautiful mystery
• No other person blazes as brightly as You
• We see Your beauty and declare it aloud

Your kingdom come

• Invade our lives with Your rule
• May our kingdoms diminish
• With 'self' on the throne, our kingdoms will crumble

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven

• Help us be as obedient as the angels
• Let earthly selfishness be replaced by heavenly obedience
• Help us follow You, for You see the bigger picture

Give us this day our daily bread

• Nourish and sustain us
• Don't let us consume more than we need for today
• Help us to see the food You place before us

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us

• May our "I forgive yous" be an echo of Yours
• Do not hold grievances against us as we so often do to others
• Forgiveness delated and denied corrodes the soul

And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil

• If our path cannot be easy, guide as safely through difficulty
• We can find our own way into trouble and get in over our heads - help us!
• Let us trust You to chart the course of our lives

For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever, Amen

• You have the Authority, the ABility and the Beauty, always
• We are obedient servants, singing Your praises for eternity
• It's all about You, all You, Always You

After sitting with each line individually, I then took one of each version and made my own prayer.

We are one family, with God watchin us all
We see Your beauty and declare it aloud!
May our kingdoms diminish -
Let earthly sefishness be replace by heavenly obedience.
Help us to see the food You place before us -
And to remember that forgiveness delayed and denied corrodes the soul.
If our path cannot be easy, guide as safely through difficulty
For life is about You
All You
Always You
Amen

It was an interesting exercise to do as it forced me to think about what each line in the prayer means for me rather than just reciting it rote. I was also surprised by what came up for me when I utilized the Clustering Technique that is demonstrated in the presentation.
Enjoy :)

Chocolate Banana Muffins

• 3 very ripe or overripe bananas
• ½ cup vegetable oil
• 2 eggs
• ½ cup (packed) light brown sugar
• 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
• 3 tablespoons best quality unsweetened cocoa powder (sifted)
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 x12 cup muffin pan plus liners (foil are best)


1. Preheat the oven to 400F and line the muffin pan with paper/foil cups.
2. Mash the bananas by hand in a bowl
3. Still mashing add the oil followed by the eggs and sugar
4. In another bowl mix the flour, cocoa powder and baking soda together and add this mixture, beating gently, to the banana mixture, then put approx 3 tablespoons in each muffin.
5. Bake in the oven for 15-20 mins, by which time the muffins should be dark, rounded, and peeking proudly out of their paper cups.
6. Let them sit for about 5 mins in the pan before removing to a wire rack. Let them cool completely before eating!!!

Store in an airtight container layered with parchment. Will keep 2-3 days in a cool place.

I Am Everyone

(Thoughts for Sunday's contemplative service)

I grew up hearing the Parable of the Prodigal Son many times - always in the context of the Sunday Evening Gospel Service. The visiting preachers (a different one nearly every week) would use the parable to talk about how "......we are all the Prodigal Son, wandering away from God and living a life of Sin and Debauchery until we eventually come to our senses and journey home towards the Father who loves us so much he will run to meet us....and we can begin that journey this evening, just walk to the front of the church while the final hymn is played."

I would nod wisely to myself while inwardly I was wishing that I had the courage of the younger son. (Though back then I would have labeled it arrogance.) And so as the organ played 'Just As I Am', I stayed just where I was, wondering who I was in the story.

I do that with a lot of bible stories.

Am I the Prodigal, or the Older Brother? Am I Wheat or Weeds? Am I Sheep or Goats? Am I a Wise or Foolish builder? Who am I?



I am everyone




I am the older brother, staying at home being obedient to what Father wants, and resenting him for it.

I am the older brother, jealous of my younger brother for having the courage to do what I wanted to do.

I am the older brother, angry with my father for never rewarding me for slaving away on his farm. I'm obedient, but not loving.



I am the younger brother, running away from community, viewing my own selfish pursuit of pleasure as the most important thing in life.

I am the younger brother, realizing I've made a mess of my life and wondering if I can sweet talk my father into letting me back into the house.

I am the younger brother, overwhelmed by forgiveness that I don't deserve.



I am the father, recklessly loving even when it could be exploited.

I am the father, offering forgiveness without conditions.

I am the father, seeking reconciliation because I want all my children to be at the feast.


I can even find myself in the residents of the far country who helped the younger brother squander his inheritance, in the servants at the farm, helping in the background of an unexpected feast and in the absent mother, not mentioned in the story at all and therefore having no role to play.


I Am Everyone


As you read through the story of the Prodigal Son, find yourself in everyone. Who is it easy to be? Is there any character you don't want to be?

40 Journaling Questions for Lent

“Lent is the shadow the Cross makes on the world in the light of the Resurrection”.

Traditionally Lent is a time for reflection and commitment. These questions are designed to be used as springboards for your personal journaling. Attempt to write an answer to one question a day and also try to write a prayer a day as a response to your own journaling (you get Sundays off). If you feel a question does not apply to you or you are unwilling or unable to answer it, journal about why this is so.

Wed March 9th 1. How would you describe your current relationship with God?
Thurs 2. What activities help you connect with God?
Fri 3. Where are you encountering joy in your life at the moment?
Sat 4. What gives you delight and how is God in that experience?

Mon March 14th 5. Describe a time you felt especially close to God.
Tues. 6. Describe a time you felt especially far from God.
Wed. 7. How does God delight in you?
Thurs. 8. What does God say when He looks at you?
Fri. 9. What emotions arise when you think about God? Why?
Sat 10. What has shaped your image of God?

Mon March 21st 11. What strengths do you have?
Tues 12. How are you unique?
Wed. 13. What are you afraid of?
Thurs. 14. What do you dislike about yourself?
Fri. 15. What do you like about yourself?
Sat. 16. Write about one aspect of yourself you would like to change.

Mon March 28th 17. What was one great thing about growing up in your family?
Tues. 18. What was one frustrating thing about growing up in your family?
Wed 19. How are you like your parents?
Thurs. 20. How are you different from your parents?
Fri. 21. How have your parents influenced your perception of God?
Sat. 22. What are your favorite memories of your childhood?

Mon April 4th 23. What are you angry with God about at the moment?
Tues. 24. How do you feel God has let you down?
Wed. 25. Where do you need to experience God at the moment?
Thurs. 26. What kind of person feels ‘unsafe’ to you?
Fri. 27. How do you react when you feel threatened?
Sat. 28. How does God feel ‘unsafe’ to you?

Mon April 11th 29. What is your favorite bible verse and why?
Tues. 30. Are there any parts of the bible you wish weren’t there? Why?
Wed. 31. What is your favorite bible story and why?
Thurs. 32. What lies do you tell yourself?
Fri. 33. What do you want people to say about you when you die?
Sat. 34. What is your biggest struggle and how have you encountered God through it?

Mon April 18th 35. What image comes to mind when you think of God?
Tues. 36. How has God used you recently?
Wed. 37. How has God shown His love for you during this season?
Thurs. 38. What is God trying to say to you at the moment?
Fri. 39. Which question was the hardest to answer honestly?
Sat. 40. How have you changed/grown through answering these questions?

February Games Played

In February I managed 19 plays of 14 different games. In Feb 2010 I managed 28 plays so this is a fairly sizable reduction :(

Top of the list for Feb is one of my fave card games Sticheln
It's a great card game with a lot of surprises, it can be tricky to learn, but it is satisfying once you grasp what is going on :)

Second with 2 plays is Black Friday - the most recent offering from Friedeman Friesse. At first glance you wouldn't expect me to like this game, it's about trading shares and manipulating markets and seems an exercise in statistics, probability and observation...but for some reason I do enjoy it. I even constructed a 4 page flow chart to make the game play easier to learn!!!!!

Die Fugger (another favorite) also managed 2 plays. Trading goods and influencing market prices....a great game all contained in a tiny deck!

The other game with 2 plays was Palastgefluster

The game count may have been lower for February...but I did get to sit in the Caribbean sunshine with good friends playing games while on an awesome cruise....luxury!!!!

Mother God?

Random thoughts for the Contemplative Service
This is an adaptation of an earlier post, so if you read the first one, you can just ignore this one lol)

I don't remember when I first started praying, it was definitely before I had the 'evangelical conversion experience'. I used to address my prayers to God without any real understanding of who God was. After I became a christian (walk forward at a Revival during 'Just as I Am', say a three point prayer and get a little emotional) most of my prayers were addressed to Jesus.

In my twenties I went though a very charismatic phase so most of my prayers were addressed to the Holy Spirit (or just spirit if I felt informal).

I still start my prayers different ways at different times, but I became aware a few years ago that my default setting was 'Father God'.

The words we use are important, they indicate preferences and prejudices and also set up expectations. Different organizations use different terms to mean the same thing to cast themselves in the best possible light. 'Illegal Alien' vs 'Undocumented Worker' or 'Pro-life' vs 'Pro-choice'.

Each of these terms carry subtly different shades of meaning.

When you shop at Target or go to Disney World you are not a Customer (even though you are buying a product), you are a Guest.

Some of these language issues creep into church as well. I've been in meetings where the Congregation has accidentally been referred to as the Audience. It was just a slip of the tongue, but I wonder what mindset it revealed about the role of the people in the pews. When I was young most Pastors had a 'Study' at church. Now most of the Pastors I know have an 'Office' at church and do their studying elsewhere, usually somewhere where the audience (oops I mean congregation) can't find them :D

So what has this to do with my prayers?

I believe that God displays qualities that we traditionally label as masculine and others we label as feminine. Isaiah says 'As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you and you will be comforted over Jerusalem' (Isaiah 66:13)

I have no difficulty using the phrase in a prayer 'God, as a mother you....' but when I tried to use the phrase 'Mother God' it tripped on my tongue and I felt uncomfortable. Even though I gave intellectual assent to God mothering me as well as fathering me, it still felt strange.

And so I prayed that way, out loud for one week. I prayed to Mother God, mainly in the car or in my office, and I noticed something. The content of my prayers shifted slightly. When I was a child I would ask my Mother and Father the same question but I would phrase it differently. The way I would talk about a topic with my Dad was different to Mom, and so it was with my prayers. I was still praying about the same situations and topics, but the shift in language caused a shift in emphasis and sometimes even a shift in request.

All of our ways of describing God fall short of who God is. God is beyond gender, so much more than only Father or Mother.

When I changed the metaphor that I was using for God, my way of relating to God changed.

What metaphors do you use when you pray?

What other metaphors might God be inviting you to use?

Vacation Photos Part 1

Well here are some of the pics of the Caribbean Cruise :)

Just to explain, we were the first ever ship to dock at Falmouth, Jamaica. The dock wasn't completely finished, but the entire town came to see us arrive and leave...it was quite amazing.

There are also some photos on a couple of waterproof cameras (climbing the waterfall in Jamaica, snorkelling etc) which I will post when I get them!

Create your own free slideshow

Rustic Bacon and Chicken Tart

It started from a picture in my copy of Cooking for Two 2010 by America's Test Kitchen. A recipe for Rustic Turkey Tart taunted me. The main ingredient was 10oz of cooked turkey, shredded. Now I am more than happy to roast a turkey for major holidays, but I don't make it a weekly occurrence so my fridge is not laden down with Tupperware of turkey calling out to be used.

(This is my changed version, not Cook's Illustrated original)

So, seeing as I knew I was going to be substituting Chicken for Turkey, I wondered what other changes I could make to make the Tart my own. The original recipe called for mushrooms, now I am a big fan of fungi, but Jenny - the neighbor I am teaching to cook isn't. I wondered how I could transform the filling to make it pleasurable on Jenny's palate. Well, once you start changing recipes it's amazing how far you can go, so here is my new adaptation (with notes and queries below). If you make it, let me know how you like it!

Rustic Bacon and Chicken Tart

Serves 2-3 and takes about 1 hour 40 to make.

2 carrots, peeled and diced.
1 small onion, diced
4 slices of bacon, chopped into small pieces
2 chicken breasts
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup frozen peas
1 cup chicken broth/stock
1 Tablespoon all purpose flour
1/2 tablespoon dried parsley
Salt and Pepper
1 egg white, lightly beaten
1 round of store bought pastry (such as Pillsbury Just Unroll!)

You will also need, cooking parchment, saran wrap, a rolling pin and a rimmed baking sheet.



To make the filling:

1. Saute the bacon in a skillet until the fat begins to render, add the onion and the carrot and saute lightly for 5 minutes.


2. Place the chicken breasts in the pan and pour in 1 cup of chicken broth.


3. Cover the skillet with a tightly fitting lid, bring to a boil and then reduce heat to a simmer for 20-25 minutes until the chicken is cooked. (I use an instant read meat thermometer to check!) If you are making this all in one session now is a good time to preheat the oven to 400F.


4. While the chicken is cooking, put 1 tablespoon of flour in a small bowl. Add the 1/4 cup of cream to it and mix thoroughly until no lumps remain.


5. Remove the chicken and shred with 2 forks.


6. While you are shredding the chicken, stir the flour cream mixture into the skillet and bring to a boil for a few minutes to thicken, stirring. Then reduce the heat while you finish the chicken.


7. When the chicken is shredded and the sauce slightly thickened add the chicken back into the skillet. Also add the peas and the parsley and season with salt and pepper to taste.

It should look something like this!

All of this can of course be done in advance and kept in the fridge.

To assemble the tart:

1. Unroll the pie crust onto some baking parchment. cover with saran wrap and then roll out slightly until it is a 10 inch round. This will only take a few passes with the rolling pin, don't make it too thin or disaster could ensue.


2. Place the rolled out pastry onto the rimmed baking sheet and place the slightly cooled filling into the middle leaving about 1 1/2 inches around the edge.
   
   
3. Moving gently around the circumference fold the edge of the dough in over the filling pleating every 1 to 2 inches as needed. Don't be too rough or you will rip the pastry!
   
4. Brush the pastry with the beaten egg white and then bake in the middle of the oven for 25-30 minutes until golden brown. Let sit on a rack for 5 minutes and then cut and serve.
   

You'll notice a little seepage from the Tart, I don't think I've managed one yet without something leaking somewhere, but it hasn't distracted from the yumminess and the parchment paper makes it easy to clean. If you want to make a neater presentation it is simplicity itself to slide it off the parchment onto a platter. Just cut and serve!

I'm happy with the recipe, but here are a few more thoughts to improve/modify.

• Make your own pastry! I haven't done it that way yet because I wanted to make something that Jenny would feel safe making and the tart is scary enough without pastry making as well, but I'm positive that homemade pastry would taste so much better than the stuff Pillsbury makes.
• To speed up the cooking of the chicken I have wondered about either a) using 4 chicken cutlets instead of 2 chicken breasts, or b) cutting the chicken breasts in half horizontally to make them thinner. They would cook quicker, there is room in the skillet, and as you are shredding them anyway the thinner cutlets won't matter. I think this technique could cut the chicken cooking time in half. I haven't tried it yet though.
• I wondered about sprinkling about 1/2 cup of cheese on top of the filling before baking. In the original recipe they use goat cheese. That might be a nice possibility, or a nice cheddar.
• Scallions or green onions might be an interesting substitute for the small onion, and come to think of it a leek might be a great substitution!

Well that's my recipe. If you try it let me know what happens :)

January Games Played

I managed 33 plays of 28 different games....

...so what were the 5 games that got 2 plays?

Chains of Fenrir - light, quick, and easily portable.

Kingsburg - I got the expansion for Christmas so I had to re familiarize myself with the base game...somehow the expansion is still in shrink...must open it soon.

Rattus - because a game where you are trying to give other people the Black Plague while you are avoiding it yourself is always fun...actually it is a great little strategy game that doesn't outstay its welcome.

The Resistance - a group deduction game like Werewolf, but without player elimination. Lying never felt so good!

Revolution - although it's basically a glorified Rock Paper Scissors, the amount of double think and screwage that goes on with this game is enjoyable!

A couple of games of special note this month that only received a single play:

Through the Ages - I finally managed to play a full game of this, it took Steve and I 5 hours to complete, and it was a real nail biting finish that I only lost by 7 points. As this was my first full game and my first play in 8 months I felt good about how I acquitted myself :)

Glory To Rome - a popular game whose cartoony graphics seem at contrast to its depth. I'm glad I finally got to play this :)

How NOT to have a cooking show!

Experiments in Prayer

"As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”
Isaiah 66:13


I've heard it said that words define reality, I'm not sure if that's true, but the words that I use do indicate preferences and prejudices. I see this all the time on news reports when different organizations use different terms for the same thing. Illegal Alien or Undocumented Worker, Pro-Life or Pro-Choice, Marriage Equality or Gay Marriage. Each of these terms carry subtly different shades of meaning and weight to different sides of the topic.

When you go to Target you are not a Customer you are a Guest. Disney Theme Parks have Guests that are attended by Cast Members. Different terms create different relationships and expectations.

So what has this to do with prayer? Well I wrote a status update last week on Facebook that said 'All our ways of describing God fall short of who God is, so don't get too attached to them.' It was inspired by a conversation in my Ignatian Spiritual Exercise Group when we talked about 'who' we pray too.

When I was young my prayers were all addressed to 'God', even before I became a Christian I remember praying. After having a standard Evangelical Conversion Experience (walk forward in front of everyone, say a three part prayer and feel a little emotional) my prayers were all addressed to Jesus.

In my mid twenties I went through a very charismatic phase so most of my prayers were addressed to the Holy Spirit (or sometimes just Spirit if I felt informal).

I still address my prayers different ways at different times, but I became aware a few years ago that my default mode was to pray to 'Father God'.

Now by using 'Father' I'm not placing assigning a specific gender onto God, I'm more indicating the intimacy of relationship. Maybe the word 'Papa' would fit more in this regard. I would imagine that some variant of 'Father God' or 'Almighty God' would be the most prevalent term used in prayers.

It really doesn't matter what term I use, but my word choices indicate preferences and prejudices and in some way I believe they help shape the contents of my prayer.

Now I believe that God displays qualities that we traditionally label as masculine and others we label as feminine....

...and so for 1 week I decided to pray to Mother God.

Even though I offered intellectual assent to the phrase, I still found my tongue tripping over the phrase when I prayed out loud. Most of my prayers are not spoken aloud, but I found that the reinforcement of my ears hearing what my mouth prayed was helpful.

And so I prayed to Mother God, mainly in the car or in my office....and I noticed something....the content of my prayers shifted slightly. When I was a child I would ask my Mother and Father the same question, but I would phrase it differently. The way I would talk about a topic with my Dad would be different to Mom....and so it was in my prayers.

I was still praying about the same situations and topics, but the shift in language caused a shift in emphasis and sometimes even a shift in request.

I've heard it said that we become like the God we worship, if we believe in a Judgemental God, then we reflect that in our lives. If we believe in a God who extends grace to us, then we are more likely to extend grace to others.

We love as we are loved.

The term 'Mother' elicits more compassion from me than 'Father', so as this experiment has 'changed God' hopefully it will change me.

Jesus and West Side Story

In West Side Story there is a song called 'Gee Office Krupke' which features a stanza that says:

My father is a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

This is a classic example of a Parallel List Lyric, two lists combined for comic effect. Father, Ma, Grandpa, Grandma, Sister, Brother - all relations, combined with a list of how they are screwed up.

Sondheim the lyricist of West Side Story is famous for this type of verbal word play and it shows throughout his works.

Incidentally when the movie version of West Side Story was released the publishers baulked at the lyrics above (and many other places in the show) so Sondheim rewrote them as:

My daddy beats my mommy,
My mommy clobbers me,
My grandpa is a commie
My Grandma pushes tea!

Which unfortunately weakens the lyric structure and doesn't seem that much 'safer' to me, but I digress.



I was reading Matt 5: 3 - 12 this afternoon and it struck me that the structure of the Beatitudes is very similar to a Parallel List Lyric.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

In the past I've found myself focusing on where in my life do I feel poor in spirit, where am I mourning, where am I meek etc. I figured if I could cultivate those characteristics in my life then I would get all the 'rewards' - the kingdom of Heaven, comfort, inherit the earth etc.

Today however, partly because I've been browsing through my notated collection of Sondheim Lyrics in the awesome book 'Finishing the Hat' I encountered the text of the Beatitudes differently.

I don't want to be poor in spirit, mourn, meek etc just to get the accompanying blessings - treating the Beatitudes as if they are some kind of written guarantee: Be 'A' and you will get 'B'. I do think that all of the 'A' statements will happen in a life that is lived honest and authentically, but I don't think we should persue the 'A' side in the hopes of gaining 'B'.

Jesus speaks these words to a hurting people - poor, living under Roman Occupation. He speaks these words of comfort to fulfill his 'mission' from the prophet Isaiah that he quotes in the synagogue in Luke 4.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

As I've sat with these 2 passages today it has me wondering what the Spirit of the Lord has anointed me for. What is my message of good news, freedom, healing, and release from oppression? What unique voice do I give to the world?

How can I offer the 'B' section of the Beatitudes? How do I live a life that extends the kingdom of God to the poor in spirit? That comforts those who mourn? That gives the earth to the meek, and fills those who hunger and thirst for righteousness? How do I show mercy to the merciful and help the pure in heart see God? How do I extend the kingdom of heaven to God's children who are peacemakers, who are persecuted?

Today instead of focusing on what I can 'get' from the Beatitudes, I'm trying to learn what I can 'give' instead.

The Taste of Stale Bread

(random thoughts for the Contemplative Service)

One Sabbath Jesus and his disciples were walking through some wheat fields. His disciples were picking grains of wheat as they went along. Some Pharisees asked Jesus, "Why are your disciples picking grain on the Sabbath? They are not supposed to do that!"
Jesus answered, "Haven't you read what David did when he and his followers were hungry and in need? It was during the time of Abiathar the high priest. David went into the house of God and ate the sacred loaves of bread that only priests are allowed to eat. He also gave some to his followers."

Jesus finished by saying, "People were not made for the good of the Sabbath. The Sabbath was made for the good of people. So the Son of Man is Lord over the Sabbath." ~ Mark 2:23-28 (CEV)

The Pharisees are concerned for Jesus' followers, here they were picking and eating grain on the sabbath. The Jewish scriptures give explicit instructions that you can eat pick grains of wheat and eat them while walking through somebody's field (Deut 23:25) but it also explicitly states that you must not work on the Sabbath even during ploughing and harvesting seasons (Exodus 34:21). Some pharisees felt that the Deuteronomy passage superseded the Exodus passage whereas others felt the reverse.

Jesus refuses to get drawn into which verse is more important, instead he tells the story of David and the Priest from 1 Sam 21: 1-6

Every week the Priests would bake 12 loaves of unleavened bread out of grain that had been offered in worship. They would sit on a special table in the Sanctuary. When the new loaves arrived then the 12 stale loaves would be given to the priests to consume. Leviticus 6:14-18 makes it very clear that only the direct descendants of Aaron (the priests) can consume the bread. The priest specifically disobeys scripture to give the bread to David and his followers.

I wonder how they reacted when they got to taste Holy Bread, the bread of the 'Presence' for the first time.

'But....this is just bread!....it tastes just like what my wife makes, in fact I think hers is better. I always thought the bread would taste more...more holy. Different somehow. This just tastes stale.'

Something that was holy, set apart, special, is revealed for its ordinariness, and in that revealing is an invitation to step into a new deeper understanding.

In my 20s I had an answer for almost everything ~ 'This is the way it is, and this is the way it shall always be.' When anything came along that would cause me to feel threatened or to question then I built a wall. The harder you pushed the harder I pushed back. Doubts and Questions were not invitations into deeper understanding, instead they were viewed as symptoms of a lack of faith, something to be resisted at all cost.

The walls got higher and what I built as protection become a prison, and the only thing to eat was the stale bread of the presence....and that is more than enough.

Sometimes it takes the realization that the 'Holy' is 'Ordinary' to give us the freedom to examine our walls to see if they are really required. Becoming disenchanted with the way things are is a necessary step in Spiritual Growth, it causes us to question what we have taken for granted, to '...purge naive assumptions, false religious pretensions and unthinking conformity.' ~ Dave Tomlinson, Re-enchanting Christianity.

The people who viewed my walls as required thought I was tumbling away into heresy. The pathway of Spiritual Growth runs parallel to the pathway of Apostasy and to the casual observer the two are easily confused. I heard cries of people echoing the Pharisee in Mark 'You are not supposed to do that!'

Where are you being invited to question, to doubt?
Where are you tempted to build walls?
Where might you need to demolish?

Are You a Problem Thinker?

If I knew who wrote this I would give them credit, but it came to me as anonymous.

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself. But I knew it wasn'ttrue. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors ... they didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video. Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed ... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

Quarters, Fives and Dimes - a Year of Boardgames

Like many of my fellow boardgame geeks I log when I play a game online here so that I can see trends. Now I played a lot of games(!) in 2010. I logged 382 plays of 173 games, so obviously there were some repeats. Games that reach the distinction of being played 5, 10 or 25 times become Quarters, Fives and Dimes. When you have as many different games as I have then each of the games that reach this honor must have something to distinguish them from the herd. Here's my take on the games of 2010. For the games of 2009 click here

Quarters

Werewolf is my only quarter in 2010 with 27 plays, in fact it is my first quarter ever as no game came close in 2009. In 2009 I only managed 6 plays, so why the jump to 27 last year? The simple answer is Bering UMC game night. They have a once a month game night that some friends who attend that church invited me too. They wanted to introduce people to games outside the usual fare of Mexican Train, Rummikub and Uno. Werewolf is a great large group game - you need at least 8 people to play, and it is easy to learn so long as the Moderator has a good handle on the rules and a flair for drama :) It's become a staple of their game nights since I introduced it.

Dimes

Hive almost got there with 23 plays. This elegant 2 player game didn't even make it into rotation last year as I did not own a set. The bulk of plays happened in the first 8 months of last year - obviously something came along to remove it from popularity, or someone. Hive only plays 2 people, so whenever a third person appears it is removed from the table.

Dominion had 17 plays last year which is down from 22 in 2009. It's fast, and has enough expansions to keep the game interesting. It may not have been number one in 2010, but the fact that it is still in the top 3 is a sign of a great game.

Animal Upon Animal is a simple children's dexterity game. I played this 13 times in 2010. Seven times on one day!!! It's amazing the things I will do to keep young children entertained.

Fluch de Mumie is another awesome children's game that I managed 10 plays of. This one is fun to play with just adults too as it turns into an intriguing cat and mouse game of deduction as the mummy tries to locate the archaeologists who are stealing treasures from his pyramid.

Nickels

Sticheln is a trick taking game that is wonderfully painful to play. Trump constantly changes every trick, and with most of the deck giving you negative points a positive score is very difficult to achieve. I managed 9 plays last year.

Ascension is probably the game I am most surprised to see on this list. I managed 8 plays of this game which is surprising as I didn't even learn the game until Nov 19th! It's a cross between Dominion and Magic the Gathering.






Tichu managed 8 plays last year. It's a great 4 player card game that takes a while to get your head around. It's one of the standard late night games at the boardgame convention that I attend every year. Last year I entered the tournament and sucked!!! But it's still great fun.

Pitchcar is a silly game that involves flicking wooden cars around a racetrack. There's really not much else to say, easy to learn, and hilarious to play. I managed 7 plays last year.

The Bucket King is a card game with surprising depth. The different animals on the farm all charge at different colored buckets. Your task is to keep your pyramid of buckets intact for as long as possible. I managed 7 plays of this game, 4 of which took place while on a vacation to Disney World :)





Ta Yu is a nice 2 player game. You take turns laying tiles on a board trying to connect the two sides. The board hit the table 7 times in 2010

Felix the Cat in the Sack is a Texas Hold em Variant transformed under the guise of bidding for a sack of unidentified cats! 5 plays for the curious felines in 2010







Pass the Bomb is a light party game. It's amazing how blank your mind can go when you are trying to name words while holding a ticking bomb. The bomb got passed around 5 times in 2010.

Telestrations is a published version of the Telephone Game. The erasable books make the game easy to play and the fun is often not so much in who wins (indeed it's very difficult to score) but more in the silly progressions of the words. It's more of a fun activity than a game, but the important this is that it is fun - I received the game as a door prize at the Board game Convention in November, so the fact that it has managed 5 plays in a month and a half shows how much fun it is.

Fallen from Grace-games that had a minimum of 5 plays in 2009 that were not touched at all in 2010

Chains of Fenrir fell from the table as other games superseded it, but it has been played in 2011 so it's not beyond hope.

Duck Duck Go also disappeared from view in 2010 with zero plays.

Travel Blokus had 5 plays in one day in 2009 and has been gathering dust ever since.

Uno received 5 plays in 3 days due to a family vacation in 2009, it also has not hit the table since.

The Top Three

When I combine the data from both years, there are no real surprises.

Dominion has 39 plays.

Werewolf has 33 plays

Hive has 23

Most of these games can be purchased at thoughthammer.com though a few of them are out of print.

If you're looking for a game suggestion for a group, ask me :)

Tune in next year, for my gaming review!!!!

Roofless Temples

God is the same everywhere. I'm not. Certain places feel more 'holy' to me. They elicit expectations in me about encountering God that I don't experience in the grocery store.

I was reading Luke 2:41 - 50 as part of my Ignatian Spiritual Exercises last week. Mary, Joseph, Jesus, and his extended family had travelled to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover. Somehow in the chaos of large group travel Mary and Joseph managed to lose the Son of God for a few days. When they eventually locate him he is calmly sitting in the temple courts listening to the teachers, asking questions and offering answers of his own.

In the past when I have read this passage I get caught up in questions regarding how Mary and Joseph could travel for days without realizing Jesus is with them and wondering where Jesus ate and slept in their absence. (We know that some people lived at the temple e.g. Anna in Luke 2:37, and as Men and Women would generally travel separately with the children travelling with the Women it is quite easy to see how Jesus at age 12 could have travelled either with the women or with the men and so each group could assume he is with the other, but I digress.)

This reading I was struck by Jesus' words 'I must be in my Father's house'. I began to think of what geographical locations felt that way to me, if I was to go to my heavenly Father's house, where would I travel too.

Here are the places that came to mind for me:

• The North Norfolk Coast, especially, Blakeney or Sheringham.
• Swanage in Dorset
• The Jesus Chapel in Norwich Cathedral
• Palo Duro Canyon

It's interesting to me that three of these places are seaside towns, and at only one of these places does my Father's House have a roof!

What places come to mind for you when you think of connecting with Father? Are there any characteristics they share? I know I am wired to connect to God when I'm at the seaside, there's something about the vastness of the horizon that helps me to plug in to the Divine - though I'm also aware that I don't enjoy just sitting on the beach, I need to be walking and being active.

What are your places? Leave me comment with their locations :)

...one more thought. At age twelve Jesus refers to the temple as his Father's House. When he is in his thirties he takes a whip to it and calls it a den of thieves. I have to be careful that I don't idealize the places where I connect to God in such a way that I am blind to their flaws.

The Twelfth Day of Christmas Gaming

On the twelfth day of Christmas: Chains of Fenrir (and Kingsburg again!)
Glass beads in abundance!
Channeling water
Rolling dice and building
Paladins and Castles
8 hours of Gaming
Traitors and Stacking,
Transport goods and oil wells!
Wow, I won!!!
Baltic Sea and Robots,
Miniatures need gluing!
Beautiful Towers,
Be a dinosaur, then go and eat poop!


Wow! I managed it...I should celebrate by playing a board game :)

The Eleventh Day of Christmas Gaming

On the eleventh day of Christmas: Tayu got a play.
Channeling water
Rolling dice and building
Paladins and Castles
8 hours of Gaming
Traitors and Stacking,
Transport goods and oil wells!
Wow, I won!!!
Baltic Sea and Robots,
Miniatures need gluing!
Beautiful Towers,
Be a dinosaur, then go and eat poop!

The Tenth Day of Christmas Gaming

On the Tenth Day of Christmas: Kingsburg was the game!
Rolling dice and building
Paladins and Castles
8 hours of Gaming
Traitors and Stacking,
Transport goods and oil wells!
Wow, I won!!!
Baltic Sea and Robots,
Miniatures need gluing!
Beautiful Towers,
Be a dinosaur, then go and eat poop!

Why the other line is likely to move faster

The Ninth Day of Christmas Gaming

On the Ninth day of Christmas: Carolus Magnus
Paladins and Castles
8 hours of Gaming
Traitors and Stacking,
Transport goods and oil wells!
Wow, I won!!!
Baltic Sea and Robots,
Miniatures need gluing!
Beautiful Towers,
Be a dinosaur, then go and eat poop!


And another homemade pizza for food!!!!

The Eighth Day of Christmas Gaming

On the Eighth Day of Christmas: 'Cant' Stop', 'Turfmaster', 'Dune Diggers', 'The Resistance', 'Power Grid'
8 hours of Gaming*
Traitors and Stacking,
Transport goods and oil wells!
Wow, I won!!!
Baltic Sea and Robots,
Miniatures need gluing!
Beautiful Towers,
Be a dinosaur, then go and eat poop!



*and 2 hours standing in the kitchen coordinating and cooking 8 homemade pizzas!

The Seventh Day of Christmas Gaming

On the Seventh Day of Christmas: 'Tier auf Tier', 'Werewolf', 'The Resistance'
Traitors and Stacking,
Transport goods and oil wells!
Wow, I won!!!
Baltic Sea and Robots,
Miniatures need gluing!
Beautiful Towers,
Be a dinosaur, then go and eat poop!